Life has pretty much every bit of "give a damn" right out of me as of 8/25 and it's only harder and harder. After an extended 36hr dissociative fugue state and mini-seizure episodes. I'm STILL waiting for MIR and CT results as well as consultations with neurosurgeons now. The spine surgeon's office refuses to even make an appointment with me with out a fresh new MRI that I seem to be getting backlash from my insurance over and that is screwing with me big time. After the trauma and stress of the last few weeks, I had started to fall into a cycle of depression and hard core anxiety.
It hasn't helped that home has become stressful in lots of ways the biggest including my brother in law deciding MY fur-babies are to blame for barking at his kids... who spend anytime they SEE my Bakka & Shadow hitting, kicking or literally STOMPING after them and chasing. That both of my babies haven't bit the little brat's yet is honestly a miracle.... I'd have bitten them myself for that behavior. If I witness it one more time I plan to full out ask my BIL if someone were doing that to one of his kids, would having the parent telling that child 'No' over and over while they continued the behavior ok? Or is it that, hey they're just animals so it's ok for my kid to abuse them? This is what creates serial killers... it always starts with the enjoyment of torture of small animals. Think on that . So yeah HOME has gotten super stressful.
The unexpected hospital stay after the extended 36hr dissociative fugue state and mini-seizure episodes, they did multiple tests including 4 different blood samples, X-rays, CT scans, and 2 MRI's. It was frustrating and exhausting and felt entirely futile as the doctors were of two minds... either I was trying to OD and kill myself (something I have NO desire to do... killing myself WOULD be murdering both my mother and husband. Neither would recover. It's just the co-dependent weird relationship my family has.) or I was a junky and not worth the time to try to help. Both of which pissed me off because those assumptions meant I was left without anyone trying to help. Eventually, they caved and sent a neurosurgeon to my room for consultation by before my discharge who agreed to review my case once all the tests came back. It appears the hospital doctors are dragging though. Citing the hurricane as slowing their process.
Finally, a hurricane flooding my city. While our home was saved from flooding, places like our storage unit were so badly flooded they were condemned. Our input housed some irreplaceable items. Our wedding china, his great grandparent's antique grandfather clock, a good portion of our books, and his entire comic book collection that he has been collecting since he was 6 years old. Many were unread, in original condition and worth thousands of dollars. They were considered for the most part our retirement fund and in the blink of an eye at least 1/3 are simply destroyed and a larger portion of the remaining are in fact devalued by the damage done to them. Now we're having to all the leg work for the insurance company, FEMA, and even the storage place to try to recoup even a PORTION of our losses. And none of that counts the number of furniture items and electronics we had in storage after the move from our own place into my MIL's home to help care for her.
After a bit of a talk Hubby and I agreed we simply needed a break. While he still goes into the office we are away for a week vacation. We've gone up to the lake where I can borrow a friend's place back in the woods to get some quiet, rest and, simply away from reality for a bit. It's been wonderful. Now that I've had a couple of day's pretty computer free rest (he stole it while I was asleep to FORCE me to rest.) and I am more rested and able to start responding now.
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