same feelings here. jonghyun was my ultimate bias and was my first idol i ever got crazy for. my parents divorced at a young age, but at that time is when i saw shinee (although i first saw shinee in lucifer—not as long as you, i don’t think). my dad was a horrible guy. when my parents divorced, i was happy to be away from my dad, but i suddenly felt so different from my peers. jonghyun made me feel that it’s okay to be separated from my dad. jonghyun and shinee’s attitudes also taught me that a girl is not supposed to be belittled by the guy; instead, the guy should make the girl happy, and i believe this was also extremely important for me to learn because i can now recognize an abusive relationship as bad and get out of it. when i was about to graduate from middle school, my mom, little sister, and i moved out of our little rent house and my mom got a small but still really amazing house of our own. i put posters of shinee members on the back of the door to my bedroom with all of the members smiling because i never wanted to forget what they and namely jonghyun did for me, and i wanted them to say bye to me everyday before i’d go to school. leaving for school today after hearing the news was very difficult for me.
please know that you’re not alone, and jonghyun really helped me too. i have no idea what i would be like now without him being on this earth.
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