So… As a gay man… This is a thing I’ve been thinking of addressing for a while now. It’s in regards to the portrayal of gay relationships in roleplay. Not saying all of them are like this, but I see a large amount that are mirrored after what I like to call the “ Dynamic.” This refers to the relationship between your “average/manly” man and an “effeminate” one.
Considering is geared toward a female audience which may have little to no concept of how actual gay relationships are, the coupling sort of resembles what a typical hetero couple would be. There is always one guy who is the “man” of the relationship and generally his partner is more slender, “girly”, effeminate, what have you. Not saying there aren’t relationships (both hetero, homo, and otherwise) with this dynamic out there… But it isn’t every relationship, nor the majority.
The other issue I have with something I believe the Dynamic perpetuated is the idea that this manly/girly aspect of the partnership equates to who is dominant/submissive. And being dominant/submissive equates to top/bottom in the bedroom (They are not one in the same, by the by! ). Yes, some people have their preferences. Some are doms and some are subs, some like topping and some like to bottom. Some like topping from the bottom. Some are none of the above.
But if you follow the Dynamic, if your character is effeminate in appearance then they are always a sub/bottom. It’s like you can pick them out from a mile away and this song is blaring. Same goes for the opposite side. “Manlier” = top/dom.
I’m not trying to shame people for what they like or if your characters might resemble something mentioned above. But I just want people to be aware that there is more to a gay relationship than this. It isn’t black or white. How you look does not determine your position in the bedroom or who wears the pants in the relationship, or vice versa.
Gay relationships are as normal and diverse as any other. You find someone you like to spend time with, you love them as they deserve, and when you’re in the bedroom you do what feels good together.
That’s my two cents.
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