random blog and one that's kind of emo, but i been doing that a lot lately, jumping the gun. seems like every moment i think i'm doing okay i go "wow looks like things are finally getting better" then i head back in a downward spiral right into depression and it's in fantastic, i tell ya what. what do i do about it though, other than ride the wave? like, i try to be alone, that doesn't work. i try to be with a friend or family member (irl, not so much online), and though that helps, i still find myself sad and upset, just hiding it and putting on an act. and my trust issues/paranoia/suspicions lately have kind of died down in the sense that i can like... rely on one person not to screw me over in some way i guess, which has kept me relatively tame for the most part, but i still stay wonderin whether or not i can really believe in people, still stay guarded and still avoid people (intentionally, unintentionally, idk anymore).
idk what i made this blog for, or what the point of it really is—maybe i just wanted to share my feelings and get them off my chest—but i guess i feel lost enough to the point where i got nothin else to do. treat this as an update on my progress or something if you were actually worried about me. also, i'm sorry if you've been trying to contact/talk to me here lately and i don't respond. i haven't checked my alerts in forever, but since i have so many i wonder if anyone has. barely even on kkt too, but try to reach me there if you really need me. i may be going through , but that doesn't mean i won't try to help you through your .
guess i'll end on that note, so goodbye for now and have a good day/night. don't die in the heat.
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