hi so i miss you.

hi.

so.

it's been a while.

like years, actually. it's been so long since we've talked and idadlfjf i miss you.

not even just now, no, like--- pretty consistently.

i hope you're doing okay. i hope you're still eating well. i hope you're happy wherever you are. whatever you're doing. i hope the wind carries you above everything else in this world.

because you've always been a floater, a drifter. your feet have never been sullied by the wet earth i've sodded over.

i've only ever looked up to see you, flying--- soaring. i should've known then, ages ago that one day you'd get too high for me. that i'd be stuck down here dreaming of the very light you've been grazing all along.

i don't blame you.

god, i never could.

i just

miss you.

like i said, it's been years.

and i hope you never look back and miss me. i hope you've moved on so beautifully that you only smile, that you never think of the ed up person i was when you knew me.

because i don't want you to remember that mistake of a person.

i want you to have only good things.

forever only good things.

like you've always deserved.

like i've never been able to give you.

and if by chance we meet again, whether here or in person or anything please

if you gave me the chance

the slightest chance

i'd show you that, at the end of it all, i could be up there with you. that i won't make you go alone this time.

that, the thing i've wanted to touch

was never the sun, the rolling clouds, the touseling winds.

but you.

my first star.