decisions... lots and lots of decisions

alright so its getting ready to be 6 am soon and honestly im not in the mood to rile myself up like i normally do. bear with me bc its mobile, dark, and i don't have my glasses on.

but i've just been thinking and thinking and thinking, and i think it's about time i stopped and took a break of sorts. i just kinda want to take a mental break. escape to some place different, y'know.

i usually come here and around in a bunch of rps (honestly, idk how i do it sometimes), and that's all fine and dandy. i have no problems with that. i kind of want to like... try something a little different though. something a little more intimate.

that sounds kinda like i'm gonna go on some weird adventure type thing rip but no— i just mean i want to perhaps maybe kinda sorta try private rping again. but not like a completely one on one thing in pms or some with a bunch of people. that usually only means i go ghost, or get ghosted, and frankly i don't wanna waste my time. but mayhaps i will be opening a private rp extended to friends. one with no like... hard limits?

i wanna say it will be low commitment, but not like one of those "hey come join and spend time here for 5 minutes then disappear bc suddenly you're busy but really you just got bored" kind of things. for this rp, if made, i will ask that you commit to doing at least one thread with someone in the rp (doesnt have to just be me).

while i am still interested in the rps im currently in, they're only adding to my stress and worsening it (mostly bc of my current state of mind), so this is more or less me trying to still do fun , but not stress myself out about making sure i have fun to do. idk how to word rn but i think that makes sense.

i need somewhere to play. somewhere to playfully ponder... to imagine and explore. this is like a little step for me so i don't burn out any more than i have, ya feel? i imagine this as like... a small kind of thing i (or we) can do from time to time, so it feels like there is less pressure to really like... idk be on top of things.

i know a lot of people talk about wanting home rps and . that sounds like what i want, and to a degree it is what i want, but i'm not talking about that rn. i'm just talking about having a fun lil playground. this playground becoming a home is definitely a plus but... idk am i the only one interested in this rn? would you guys be up for it?

oh! and it is important to note that this will not be some ooc hangout or some kind of cop out when it comes to rping. like i said, i want a place to play. i'm talking to those who also want a place to play.

so, again i ask, would you guys be up for it?

edit from like an hour later: the title initially had something to do with the blog i think, but i guess it got lost in translation when being processed by my thoughts. that's code for i had a point related to it, but i lost it.

another edit about 10 minutes after the first edit: hAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH!!