For Whomever Will See

To Whom This May Concern,

Whether you'll see it is beyond me, I don't know if you will but I hope you do. I've had a lot of time to think about this and about what I was going to say and how I was going to say it because let's face it, I'm horrible and making my words seem less like hostility and more like advice?? I don't know, but there is one thing I know for certain and that is that I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure you've all blocked me, on everything. I've tried to apologize numerous times only for them to be overlooked or to be on by her. But I really am sorry, I wish i could really explain myself in all the things that there have been claims that I've done, but you guys won't give me the light of day. I really am sorry, I'm sorry that my fear and my hatred for one person made me a horrible friend. 

I was told multiple times not to do this, not to talk about it, not to write about it but i want to be heard. I want you all to know that my apologies have always been genuine. You know me, you've known me for five (5) years, you know that I don't say things if I really don't mean that. Everything I've ever said to you when I apologize has been completely genuine otherwise I wouldn't have done it. I don't want you to come running back to me, but I don't want to just give up without you knowing that I meant every word that I said when i apologized. It's not the same without you all. I truly am beginning to change and I wish you guys were here to see it. If you don't want to, that's okay, but I hope that we can talk this out and even be acquaintances if possible, start over our friendship, if possible.

If this is really it, I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to explain myself. I apologize for ripping the bandage off. I'm sorry for tearing open the wounds, but I really want you to know that my heart and soul went out to you guys. I gave you my all if I could had. I still would give you my all and I know that it's probably going in one ear and out the other, but I know myself and you know me. There is so much that I can say, but all i'll say right now to sign off if that, I'm sorry that i've failed you all and I hope that one day, you'll message me and I can tell you the truth. I hope one day, you'll realize that I am not the bad guy, i never wanted to be, but until then...

goodbye,

hailey.