nameless

[Plot opening, interested about it, pm me ^^]

“Behind my story”

The bass of the music coming from the inside the small house that Bella shared with her boyfriend Drake weighed down the air that was otherwise crisp with early summer. I stood for a moment on the sidewalk, letting the vibrations work through the soles of my shoes and up my legs to my belly. When I'd moved out of town and started my new life years ago, it had taken a lot of effort for me to break free from my shell, my natural inclination to hang back and observe instead of participating. But I'd pretended for so long that my alter ego was now a real part of me. Hearing the loud music, seeing the people standing on the front porch, made me smile. This was exactly what I'd needed. Still, I was a bit nervous as I smoothed my palms on the skirt of my dress and headed up the path to the front door. I wondered if he would be there. The thought of seeing him in the flesh after so long was terrifying, and yet at the same time, I desperately hoped for it.

*I'm nuts*

Raking my fingers through my golden locks, I shook it off. The one I was now would have charged through the front door, grabbed a drink and climbed on the dance floor. Knowing what these people remembered about me, I felt like there were invisible arms, holding me back. Irritably, I shrugged it off, then pushed through the people who were clustered on the deck. Apart from Bella, who cared what they thought? I'd be gone again in a few months, anyway. The air inside was heavy, thick with the scent of booze and sweat, layered with the saccharine sweetness of hormones, of the lust, of the needs. People searching for a hookup, people searching for pleasure, and whatsoever. The living room before my step was packed, the floor beneath my feet sticky. I rose up into my toes trying to find the familiar face, ignoring the ones that stared at me without bothering to disguise their fascination. I was probably imagining it, anyway. True this was such a small town, but everything that had happened. Well, it had been years ago. Tragic as it was, life moved on. Surely people had other things on their minds now, all those years were enough to forget. Glancing down at my dress, one that screamed , I smiled wryly to myself. I sure looked like I'd moved on, and when I wasn't back here, I could almost convince myself of it.

Balle was in the far corner of the room, by a card table set with countless bottles of booze and soda. As I set off across the room in her direction I felt my nerves beginning to fall away, lost in the familiar atmosphere of people converging together for the basic human need to socialize. Even though this crowd had always been more her's friends than mine, I'd always felt welcome enough, the few times I'd come to parties thrown by Drake and Bella. I knew that was because of Bella, who had been one of the few people who'd cared enough to look past the shyness I'd once clutched around myself like a coat. Bella and I had never and would never be best of friends, but I still enjoyed that friendship. The tiny redheaded had her arms around Drake when I approached, the expression on her face showing exactly what had kept us together since high school, Bella was deeply in love and it was shown overall. A pang stabbed me in the chest, just a quick one, I stopped, hung back and waited, feeling like I was intruding on something private. 

Jealous? I wasn't jealous of Bella had Drake. The man was tall, handsome and really sweet, but he wasn't what I wanted.

No, the slice came from the knowledge that one guy who had haunted my thoughts, my dreams since the first time I'd laid eyes on him wasn't going to want anything to do with me, not now, not ever. Even knowing that I couldn't stop stealing quick, furtive little glances around, checking for that thick, spiky hair, or those eyes that never been able to decide if they were golden or brown. Then Bella spotted me, standing awkwardly a few feet away, and for a blissful few moments, I was caught up with nothing but happiness at seeing my friend."Gigi" My name from her lips trailed off as she looked me over, her eyes taking my skimpy black dress, my sky-high heels, and her brow furrowed for a moment. I could follow her thoughts as clearly as if she'd spoken them aloud. 
 

What the hell was Gigi doing, dressed like this?
 

I waited, grimacing inwardly, as she broke away from Drake with a small squeal. Shaking short reddish locks from her face, the one person I had kept in contact with from my hometown over the years launched herself at me, hugging me tightly, until I felt like my ribs would crack. The relief was a morphine drip in my veins, Bella had clearly noticed that I'd changed. But, true to how she'd always been, she just accepted me as I was. "Gigi" Pulling back, the girl who resembled nothing so much as a forest spirit looked me up and down in the way that good friends can without being creepy. I waited to see if she would comment on my look, which wasn't new to me but sure was to everyone else here.

"Nice dress." Bella wiggled her eyebrows at me and grinned. "I don't have the s to hold something like that up." The part of me that had frozen as soon as I'd driven past the town limits began to thaw. I looked down at my own s, which were perfectly respectable B cup but nothing spectacular, and wiggled my eyebrows back."Victoria's Secret." I stage whispered. "Ssh, it's a secret." Bella hooted with laughter, stepping back to lead me to the drink table. "Move that y , D" Bella playfully hip-checked her man out of the way, and in return he smacked her , grinning at me as he did."Looking good, Gi" Drake looked me up and down with a fake lasciviousness as Bella rolled her eyes. "Wanna make out?" I laughed and rolled my eyes along with Bella. Being around tow people who were just happy I was home and didn't want to have a long serious discussion about anything that did me a world of good. "D, stop hitting on her and move. It took years, but Gigi is here and ready to party." Bella grabbed two plastic cups from a teetering stack and gestured to the array of half-empty bottles on the card table. "Let's get a few drinks into her before she changes her mind."

"I'll leave you, women, to it." Drake saluted them with his cup before wandering off into the crowd. "Don't break too many hearts."
"No , Gi" Bella held up a bottle of whiskey in one hand, and another one of vodka in the other. "I had no idea you were so hot. Though you did rock the y librarian thing."
"A librarian? ." I gestured to the vodka, ignoring the inquisitive expression on Bella's face as I reached around her for one of the cups that Balle had gotten out. "Here is to you coming home" Bella accepted the cup of vodka, I had handed her and lifted it, toasting my coming back. Thought Bella's toast made me squirm a bit, I shrugged it off. I was here to have fun. But before following Bella to the space that had been cleared to be the dance floor, I finally spat out the question that had been on the tip of my tongue since I'd walked in the door.

"He?." I felt like I'd shouted, though I'd tried to keep my voice down. Bella turned, her face suddenly intent to my own. Nervously I ran my tongue over my dry lips, wetting them.
"Is he still in town?"
Bella nodded with apparent sympathy.
"Yeah. He's still around. So is his friends," she added, naming the other guys, the ones who had been his best friends since forever. 
"Right." I lifted my cup to my lips and gulped at the liquid, letting it burn my nose and throat as I swallowed. I was thrilled. I was terrified. Some of the latter must have shown on my face because Bella squeezed my arm with comfort.
"He comes to these parties once a while, but not often." Of course, Bella thought I was worried about seeing him because he'd been her's best friend, her co-conspirator, her lover. She had no idea what had happened between him and me that final night, what we had finally given in to... and what had happened as a result. I wasn't about to tell her, so instead, I forced myself to smile. Slamming back the rest of my drink, I gestured to the dance floor.  "Let's dance!"

Bella's face showed a flicker of surprise, but it quickly melted into fun. "Let's do it." Chugging the remains of her own drink as well, she took the hand I had offered her and let her lead us onto the dance floor. As we found a spot amongst the knots of people, as the bass of the song made the soles of my heels vibrate, relief was a potent drug, dripping bit by bit into my veins.
I was reminded of why Bella and I had become friends in the first place, though on paper it seemed she would have been a better match with her. 
We danced through song after song, fast, slow, in between, stopping only to get fresh drinks. Sweat made the clingy fabric of my dress catch on my skin, and had my once silky golden locks, plastering themselves to my cheeks, but I didn't care. As I'd learned when I'd finally left this town, letting go of control could sometimes just feel good.
"Uh-oh."
I had been swaying to a pop song my arms in the air when Bella's voice filtered through. Opening my eyes, I saw her looking over my shoulder with apprehension. A big hand was on my shoulder before I could ask what was wrong. That hand pulled me, spinning me around on my heels. With vodka in me, I lost my balance, falling against the rock-solid chest of the guy who had grabbed me. The scent of soap and something that was uniquely him combined in my nose and told me who it was before my eyes actually took him in. My pulse quickened, my heart began to beat double time, as I looked up and my vision confirmed what I’d already known.

Thick, dark hair. Eyes that were confusing, eyes that couldn’t decide if they were golden or brown. Chiselled features that were normally set in inscrutable line. I must have surprised him because right now he looked like he’d seen a ghost. His hands ran up and down my arms, feeling the flesh as if he wasn’t sure if I was real, and I shivered under the touch. Could it really bet that he wasn’t appalled to find me back in town? The sparks that I’d spent my time away trying to dampen flickered, then burst back into the roaring fire that I’d always felt around him. ”You?” Those ever-changing eyes narrowed and he cocked his head. I  in a breath when he didn't even use my name. I saw the second that he realized his mistake, but by then the pain had sliced through my veins.
”Out of everyone,” I started, my voice shaking as I stepped away from his touch. ”Out of everyone who knew me, I thought you would be able to at least remember my name.” Emotions that I couldn’t quite identify flicked over his face. I didn’t stick around either to figure out what it was. Spinning, I shoved through the crows of people, stumbling on the shoes that suddenly made my feet ache. The combination of too much vodka, emotions running high, and the shock of seeing him again made me nauseous. I thought I might puke, just on the spot.