ANGST POST #ni (I don't recommend reading....again.)uustk annesi wpetinhs

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AuthorChannie
Created

Friends are sad

Friends are hurting themselves
Friends want to die.
 
Channie is sad.
Channie is hurting herself.
Channie wants to make everything better.
 
Then Channie wants to die.
 
This seems to be the part that no one understands. I look after myself by looking after others. Why is it that I still counsel people when I'm mentally ed my self.
Why can I sit there in the corner, carving my own legs but yet still write a paragraph to stop someone drowning themselves in the bathtub.
 
How? I have no ing idea
 
Why?....well I always seem to be left with this haunting feeling of selfishness, my greatest fear, is making someone upset. Disappointing them.
 
Being to selfish and not giving them what they need.
 
It's a phobia. I'm terrified.
 
I hate people worrying about me. I hate it when my best friend says she was crying cause she didn't know how to make me feel better.
I hate being a burden.
I hate the fact that I can never do anything to standard that anyone accepts.
I'm too much of a perfectionist cause I'm scared to dissapoint.
I don't trust that anyone actually like my writing, my sewing, my cooling.
 
That everyone actually enjoys talking to me.
 
It's all just a lie.
I'm a burden...
Well that's what my brain whispers too me.
And that's why a lot of things set me off.
 
Begging for replies...I'm too slow; I'm annoying.
 
Why I can never say no when someone asks for help.
 
Why I always take to much onboard and die of stress.
 
Why I constantly stalk The depression tag on Tumblr and talk to the people there who need it. Help the people who are desperate
 
Because I see no use for myself.
 
I'm pathetic.
Embarrassing.
Just like my dad says.
 
I can't even stand for a whole martial arts lesson without my legs crumpling under me and then collapsing to the floor crying, because it's to painful.
 
I can't walk around school all day.
 
I'm weak. I'm ing mental.
And I hate it.
 
Now I have to go scrub the bathroom to pristine with just water.
Like every saturday.
So....
/leaves, hides in a corner.
 
I really shouldnt post this .
It makes everyone worry...
And I feel worse afterwards...

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TheBlackBloodRose 11 years ago
CHANNIE!!!!!
Never even think about that!!!
You need to learn to lean on me more
Seriously
Rainsound 11 years ago
Awww ... Don't be like this :)

You should be proud because you have friends that cared so much for you until they cried, tbh, my Bestfriends never cared for me, we seemed so close on the outside, but we're breaking down in the inside.

You're no burden !! No one is ever a burden, no ones perfect right?
There's something we're similar, I can also never say no to people, and end up losing all my thing, and my mom scolding me why take so much burden back -.-

Actually, I know there's someone who try to 'fake caring' about us, but if they have to time to fake with us, why don't we just play along with it?

We cared too much for others, ending up hurting ourselves.
We care so much for the others, but when we really needed help, no one is there for us.

But remember I'm always here for you ~
Cheer up and start over okay ?
Nothing is forever, you will be happy someday :)
Kaigoo 11 years ago
Unnie! Don't be sad, okay? Because I'll have to hit journey if you are. We all love you, and we're all here for you. The barrier and distance is evil, but just know that if we could, we'd all be with you in a second. -hugs- We love you, unnie, just remember that.
Beomks 11 years ago
Unnie! please dont think that you're a burden because your not
You have at least one person that enjoys talking to you and wants to know that you're happy.. Me :)
And try to think of yourself at least every once in a while, it's not selfish but if you keep just trying to help other's then you'll crash, just like me
and don't listen to what your dad says, my step mom,mom and grandparents are the same and i just ignore them since my dad just doesnt care to help.
So if you're feeling down then talk to me, I promise to be here and listen cuz i luv u <3
63d328e4d30a2b03325e 11 years ago
I love you channie<3
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