not myself

i've been feeling under the weather these days, and I'm not only talking about my health but also me being here.  I was food poisoned for the past few days, and that was not a good feeling at all... but even with that I still have to work... and I was so tired from work and just everything that has been going on around me. just been really really annoyed at myself and hate the feeling of myself being like this. I'm not only bring people around me down also bring myself down at the same time. But I guess after all the ty thing I did in the past, the karma is finally catching up with me,aye? Although I have friends that care about me and worry about me, I just don't want to bring them down with me, so i have been keep all this to myself. 

I really didn't mean to post this, and I'm wondering why i'm typing this right now. I just can't bottled up everything anymore, I want to let you guys know that I'm not okay, that the person you saw that was happy is not here at the moment. I'm in a really ty mood these days, to the point that I was think deleting myself from everyone's memories. and just disappear for good, even though I know that would be really selfish of me. What can I do though, I don't feel like myself, I want to cry and scream my lung out 

Sorry for the late night... it's 12:14am right now... I really don't know why  type this at all. 

I don't even care who sees this anymore