helpless

do you have the same? if not, can you feel it?
I didnt wanted to bring this up because its kinda personal but this day got me a lot to think about myself and what Im doing with my life so at this point I dont care and Im gonna say it anyway.
even if its corona or not - people die everyday but I cant accept it, I just cant, seeing the same faces everyday, smiling to you kindly, saying to each other a good day and talking a little to share the story of their lifes, feeling the attachment to each other, only to wake up the next morning doing your job like everyday but then you find out that those people are no longer with us, it hurts, it hurts so badly because I got used to the people I meet everyday, I treat them like my family, always saying good morning or saying if you had a good day so far and then you see hourglass on the door announcing that someone died from this building but to me its not someone because I knew the person, a good person and good people are dying, I feel sadness, sorrow and anger because I know I cant do anything about it and I hate it because Im that kind of person who wants to help, reach out if its possible, just try, do something, say something, speak out, we people are so fragile we just dont notice it sometimes, this is all so ed up
I feel helpless when I look into peoples eyes when they are on the edge of crying their heart out because something bad happenned in their life, Im trying my best to say that everything is gonna be okay but why would I say that when I know the truth that its not gonna be fine? Why Im giving them a false hope? Just so they can breathe in another day without stress? Its so hard to not get attached in my environment that I work in. Same faces everyday and then one day they are gone, people come and people go I know I know but still its so ing hard to adjust to changes, you know? Im weak when I even think about it. This message was supposed to be short but I got carried away goddammit, even if Im a I have them feelings too so with that all I wanna say right now is

rest in peace to those beautiful souls out there

and thank you, people that I met in the past, to those I meet everyday on this site, to my friends, I just wanna say thank you, these past days got me thinking that we should appreciate every second by, so Im sorry for whatever I did that made people uncomfortable and thank you again for those who are giving me hope for the next day coming

stay safe and thank you for listening