realizing i'm not in a place where i have the time to write with people who i'm constantly writing the perfect plot for but they can't put any efforts into the plots that i like or have high inspiration for. especially if i've got like 6 or 7 plots where i'm catering to them and there's like one that i get?? but i can't get replies for it?? i'm at a space where i realize i'm tired of having to force myself to write replies hoping i'll get one for the thread or threads i like and continually being disappointed. my time and energy is a finite resource and i'm going to have to put it elsewhere. if you can't throw me even a bone, then why do i waste my time and write things that are honestly draining me and my inspiration?
idk i think it's halfway because i was clinging to people who were actually replying to threads (just skirting around the ones i want). i'm so used to being ghosted ig it makes me more willing to put up with people's bs, but i can't afford that right now.
i literally found myself opening a thread going "maybe if i reply to this i'll finally get a reply to that other thread" and i just closed the tab altogether because what the hell, minty. i shouldn't feel like i have to coax replies out of someone, especially when it means forcing myself to write something i don't really... want to.
anyway, i'm going to try to get a handful of replies written this weekend, i'm open to new pmrp partners because it looks like i'll be dropping several.
i don't need to feel this way anymore.
in the words of aespa, i got better things to do with my time.
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