(Typical rant full of my ing emotional bull) Fine, I get it.

The thing is. The thing is- okay i get it. Even my female best friend in real life has implied it. That Im too emotional or have too much bull when Im emotional. So maybe yes, Im a sensitive person and cant take a joke when im emotional, so yes you might have been joking but Im sensitive right now and took that as a "You and your emotional bull" thing. I've already toned down and hidden so much about my emotionalness, Linette. Though you didnt say anyth this time since we arent even in contact right now. But that because you said you could accept me but everytime I think back to that comment about me being emotional, I ing flare up. Because yes you I am emotional (though you think im fine because im hiding things again) and have annoying emotional bull (i know that) but if you are going to accept me then why cant you put up with me and at least have a pity party with me? Why do I usually have to be the one thats accepting and there but when Im emotional, the ones I was there for most usually start saying stuff about my bs? Cant you ing be nice and put up with me? I was always emotional even before I never pmsed on periods but when I started pmsing on periods this year like finally, you lot just treat me worse. Im not talking about all my friends but only some. Some of you guys are awesome possums who help a bit but you guys are the same people that reply slowest and are in different time zones. But why cant someone just ing be nice and put up with my bull is what im asking. Why cant you laugh and say you dont get my usual incoherent self but at least be nice.Im not saying everyone is like this all the time but- Instead of making me feel more like im annoying. Instead of making me hate myself more and crawling back to those walls I built to be so distant and cold. Im complaining about this for the first time ever because my tolerance level (which is high as most people should actually know) has broken and I might cry or destroy something (i never had a pretty temper or was a gentle person ok) or- Are you happy now? One day I'll give up allowing myself to feeling anything at all. I think that day is coming soon because im at the edge now.