「Xing」"I'm Sorry..."

Dear Xing.

Y-You'll probably never see this. See how much I struggled to write a message about my feeling... Twice in 24 hours.... That's a record right?

 

My last post killed you, I know... I'm sorry. So sorry you had to put up with the feelings I keep so very buried for a reason. A goddamned good one too.

 

You're gone from rpr. I didn't even get to see your blog posts. Didn't read them, even though my name is in the title. And judging by it....it's fake. You know I'm not an angel. I told you that.

 

Was that the part that broke you?

 

You'll be gone from the world soon too. And I know this time, this time it's my fault your leaving, and all the pleading and searching I do. Is not going to bring you back. Not this time.

 

So I want you to know. That I'm sorry. And so many more people will miss you than you even could realize.

 

You're never gonna get to see infinite now....

Never gonna get to hug a koala.

Never gonna feel any better cause you're not giving things the time it needs to change.

 

Never letting me need the words that need to be said float between us.

 

I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you love me. I'm sorry I just wanted to protect you like a sister.

I'm sorry that I'm just a persona, and I don't really exist like you think I do.

I'm sorry that I'm not the person you thought I was.

 

I'm sorry Xingxing.

sorry that I'm broken.

And I'll miss you.

 

I'm so sorry for killing you.