Disclaimer notice: This subject of mine is a Religion subject so get minded that we ever had come to such topic. LOL
So we were talking about ceremonies done from the past. First is about kissing at different places then came to . We even talked about pins. Google it guys because I have no intention on explaining this. My stomach just can't take it remembering on how he shared this to us. XD
. I'll be only discussing the highlights so please do follow the flow if you're interested about what he told us step by step. (Will only mention those things that I have remembered so don't expect verbatim words that came from him. I might have altered some but I assure you, they're as synomous as they could be to what my professor meant)
So this is the decision-making process according to penitentials (?)
Background: Long ago, priests(dunno the right term even) when a person confesses something about , they would have gone themselves with a handbook with them and ask things. One of popular sins that is highly committed is . So here is the jot down down of when one is confessing.
** STOP! SIN! means that you're not allowed to have since it's a sin.
1) Randy = Aroused
Of course, the answer would then be yes, otherwise, what is there to ocnfess about?
2) Married yet? If no.. Sayonara . XD
3) Is this your wife? Dang. I lol-ed. But true story bro, why have with another woman? LOL
4) Married more than three days?
Yes. It was supposedly one but to honor the 3 divine kings, it was then turned into three. Blame them now that husband and wife can't have on their first night. LOL
5) Is wife menstruating?
You're not allowed to have if yes. Why? Since you're going to kill the baby - inside . It was believed that the contains already a fetus inside each so the baby will die once the birl bleeds on the .
6) Is wife nursing a child?
You can't have if she does since she would have a hard time feeding two babies at the same time. One at a time. e u e
7) Is it Lent?
Awhh.. You can't have during that season. You have 40 days of fasting then.
8) Is it Advent?
About another 3 weeks loss of having .
9) Whitsun week?
And another 7 days of no .
10) Is that day a feast day?
Forbidden. Honor the Saint. And.. It's almost everyday that we have feast days. Awh. No more all in all. XD
11) Is it a fast day?
You can never have on that day.
12) Is it a Sunday?
Jesus' s Ressurection so no during Sundays.
13) Is it a Wednesday?
Baclaran day. /shot. This is a Filipino pun mentioned by my professor so not all would get this. = u =
14) Is it a Friday?
No even.
15) Is it a Saturday.
7th day of the week. I forgot the significant reason but perhaps it was God's resting day so no for those days.
** Take note. You can only then have on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. But what if all of them are taken as feast days and the fact that you add when you up Advent's. Lent's, Whitsun Week's days, you're only down with a less than of 1 month to have all in all in a year. (Too lazy to compute. Do the math, peeps. XD)
16) Is it daylight?
Because you're not allowed to do it in the morning. Only nights and during the dark when you can't see each other.
Yes. You are to blindfold yourself. /shot; slapped; killed. Kidding. But still, you can't do it on the morning.
17) Are you ?
Just in #16. You can't see each others' bodies. There's a proper attire to have !
^ LOL. Minded. XD
18) Are you in Church?
Self-explanatory. Who on Earth would do that there? LOL Morality
19) Do you want a child?
First off, the reason why you're going to have is for mere reproduction. Nothing more, nothing less.
20) GO AHEAD!
But be careful:
a) No fondling.
- you're not allowed to touch your wife. Have her cuffed. XD Kidding. But yeah, no fondling and touching while having .
How is this even possible? XD
b) No lewd kisses
- when you have , you must only have a pokerface.
Can't even imagine this thing. LOL. Even in the dark, you're not allowed to enjoy . XD
c) No oral !
- just get it on. No s. Baby-making right away. XD
d) No strange positions!
- you're only allowed to do what is the common and that is the Missionary.
So why missionary position? Simple. Your mission is to reproduce.
^ Lessons learned. Seriously, right? Who would've thought that it was for a mission and not for another goddamn purpose. XD Minded.
e) Only once
No more right after. Get enough.
f) Try not to have fun.
Yes. That is for you.. no fun at all. Again, try to put up a pokerface while having in the dark while fully clothed. XD
g) Good luck
.. with the baby being made of course. LOL
h) And wash afterwards.
Because it was believed that is dirty.
To sum things up, during the past, is a cruel thing for both couples. It's a sin even - too many restrictions that you hinder yourself from having . What's worse is that you limit yourself on the day that is allowed and you can only do it once on that same day.. On a night even with clothes and a pokerface to your face without enjoying the whole process. XD
Good luck indeed. LOL
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