Why must i feel this way?!

So i have this crush. His name is Ca- Marshmallow. Lets call him Marshmallow. So.. bascially Marshmallow and i have never spoken to each other nor do we even know one another. He may be short but i don't really care, cause i'm pretty short myself. And he is smart... so.. its all good. I saw him today and i just had to stay at the canteen and stare at hime. I don't know why i always do that. But i always end up doing it because its either i want to or its just a freaking habit of mine. Because of him... i was late to a meeting during lunch time. But like i gave a fairy floss. I was just happy that i got to see him. At least... once today. Anyway... the first time i met Marshmallow was last year at a filipino festival. Typical asian or more like filipino love stories happens when you find your 'crush' or 'first love' during a festival, party or some other shiz with a lot of other random filo people. Anyway... it was as if i had this happy vibe go through my body and veins that made me want to stare and look at him the whole time. The second time i saw Marshmallow was again in public. On a train. In the city. Night time. In my head i was like... "Isn't he the guy i saw at the filo festival last year? Nah... he couldn't be. Could he?" Shaking that thought off my mind i went with my family and family friends into the train. But unfortunately.. most of the seats were all taken and i just had to sit on the one loner chair. All.. by.. my.. self. But the worst and kind of best part was that i was facing him. So i had a hard time to try and not to look at his face. So the whole time i either... fell asleep or looked out the window. If i looked at him for a second i would feel my cheeks heat up and i'd feel all giddy and giggly inside. But i tried to keep them calm. From the corner of my eye i could see him looking at me. Like legit. Looking at me. In the direction i was sitting at. I cannot. I cannot contain my feels for him. He just... i can't explain what i feel. ARGH. Anyway... the embarassing part was that.. i was wearing my freaking bear ears with a pink polka dot bow on top so it was basically like a beanie or hat. And his little brother was like pointing at it while his dad was like looking at it as well. My gee i wanted to kill myself on the spot. But then again i didn't.. because i heard and saw him chuckle. My gee he has such a cute smile and chuckle. Like D.O's and L's. Kyaaaaa! But the best part of the whole train ride was when he freaking went off the same station as i did. I was like oh shiz... no way.. why? Is this fate? Destiny? Or what? And from that night on, i knew that he lived somewhere in Holsworthy. Crap i'm off topic. Anyway... the next day... which was a school day. I saw him. The same dude i have seen at the filo festival and the dude who was in the same train as me at the school canteen. I was like.... "ASDFGHJKL. WHAT?! IS THIS THE REAL LIFE OR IS THIS JUST FANTASY?! HE FREAKING GOES TO THIS SCHOOL?! HOW COME I DIDN'T KNOW OF THIS SORCERY?!" I died. Right there and then on the spot. DIED I TELL YOU. Anyway... then when i noticed that i fell for him. Badly. So i went to the canteen and tried my best to keep my feels and calm. I was blushing madly during that time i was in the canteen line that i almost forgot why i was there in the first place. From the corner of my eye he randomly turned around to face the girls line, i saw him look around until he stopped and spotted me. ME I TELL YOU. Was it because of my glasses? He kinda like squinted his eyes (eventhoughhiseyesarealreadysmall) for some shiz i have no idea why. But there... i saw his smile again. His cute and adorable smile. ARGH. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?! I think i just killed an ant when i saw that smile. I was so freaking happy. Anyway... days and months have past and during those days and months i've been looking at him while i was in the canteen line. He was like... my medicine to cheer me up when i'm down, pissed or just plain bored. I think he thought of me as a creep though cause i just stared at him the whole time. But hey! Its not my fault i can't contain my feels for you. Be happy that theres a girl who has a crush on you. But there was this one period of time where i didn't see him at the canteen or anywhere at all. I thought he moved schools or was creeped out by me that he wouldn't go to the canteen anymore. So to my disappointment i was depressed throughout that whole period of time he wasn't at the canteen and gave up going to the canteen after class early just to see him and leave the canteen early just to see him leave. But apperantly that period of time he wasn't there... he was at Camp. So now i feel stupid and dumb for thinking of such things. Anyway i think... the best day of my freaking school life this year. Was when i saw him seven. freaking. times. In a day. Because usually i would only see him twice.. in a day. So... on the 8/11/2013 which was a friday. I saw Marshmallow... 7 times. I even wrote this freaking poem about my so called, "Saw Marshmallow 7 Times Day" so like an anniversary. For myself only. I only celebrate this so-called anniversary every fortnight because it was that one typical friday. And so... the poem.. goes a little something like this:

7 times. 7 looks you gave me to me love you more than i already did.7 times like the days in a week. 7 times like the member in INFINITE. 7 times like the letters in my name. Kaitlyn. I love you. Goodbye. My special number 7.

Holy shiz that was so freaking cheesy! Why am i so freaking cheesy?! >.< So yeah that was my poem for him. So now for the question i've been wanting to ask the whole time. Why am i feeling this way? I mean.. i've had plenty of other crushes in the past. But Marshmallow seems different. He's just not the same as the others. ARGH. I dunno. Just someone.. please.. help me. I'm begging you. ; u ;