Jokes

Someone put a blog with it too so I started to read some too and they are funny lol

BUT

if you're young and try to read it

and your parents will see it

or you'll have probles then is not my fault ><

I'm legal so yes, I can read it

so please read it if you want but if you have problems

not my fault ^^ 

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "My," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have .” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his in the mommy’s . That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of s are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s s are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having . He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a . She said "I knew it, , explain the !" He said, "Explain the kids!"

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your !" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"

that's enough for now >< lol but I'll keep reading

2am and still not sleepy @.@ *goes back to read