Cheer up!

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So... I was looking for jokes. And I found some.

I think they are funny but I dont really know since I basically finds everything funny ><

So I thought of sharing some of them because Im lame so are the jokes!
muahahaha...

Lets begin :p

 

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Q1: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

Q2: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?

Q3: What do donkeys send out near Christmas?

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A Lesson in Government

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.

''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.

''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of !''

 

A Night's Sleep

On a long walk in the woods, Johhny found himself out late and decided to look for a place to rest the night. He finally found a hut in the middle of the woods and knocked on the door. An old man answered, and he agreed to give Johhny a bed for the night on one condition: the man's teenaged daughter would be in the other bed, and Johnny was not to touch her or disturb her sleep in any way. Johnny agreed, but changed his mind when he saw how beautiful the sleeping girl was and, while she didn't respond to his caresses, she didn't push him away either.

The next morning, Johnny awoke alone, but he figured the girl had gone to do her chores and he eagerly awaited her return. Instead the old man walked in, wiping the tears from his eyes. “What's wrong?” asked Johnny. “Oh, I've just come back from the cemetery -- we had my little girl's funeral this morning. But thank you so much for sitting up with her body last night.”

 

 

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Answers:

Q1: The lid said, "Twist to open."

Q2: Gaelic breath.

Q3: Mule-tide greetings

 

Comments

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bamgeut 10 years ago
little Johnny's such a ed kid sometimes XD
baozi00 10 years ago
Omg LOL hahaha
Headsgone 10 years ago
it's funny how i don't understand anything.
morpheus 10 years ago
LOL THIS IS BEAUTIFULLLLLLL
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