now that it's settling in (must read)

for robert's close friends

i'm having really morbid thoughts that will probably creep you guys out and sadden you further so i'm not going to share them

but that wasn't a necrophillic statement don't worry

i've had an imagination flood and i just wrote a song but i haven't really developed it yet and there's no accompaniment. 

yeah anyway, i love you guys a lot, i hope i can help you through this

it's really hard to get my head around the fact that i care for someone i've never met, someone i've never even seen a picture of, so much, and now that's gone.

see, when i first joined rpr, one of the users had just committed suicide. i don't know how that's relevant but it seems like it to me. 

even though on the scale of people on rpr, robert was among the oldest, he was still ridiculously young i don't even know what to say.

he was always so loving and understanding and caring and we weren't best friends but we got along and we talked a lot

for lucy, stephii, rosie, exotic-m, s3xysince1993 (is that your name?), kwonmisaki and all of his other really close friends, i can't really imagine what you're feeling

when i was ten, my best friend died of cancer, but it was inevitable, we were waiting for it to happen, even though her syptoms miraculously diasappeared there was no hope for her.

just so dramtically, you know. i can't imagine.

the expectation of a hospital is to fix people. my grandma has been pronounced dead eight times or something ridiculous and they always managed to bring her back.

so i guess even though he was in critical condition, you guys had the expectation that he was gonna get through it

man, all the angst we did together. we made a roleplay, i still have it i think. my key still hasn't replied to his tae's last wallpost. i feel really bad for that.

all the plots that could make me cry even though i didn't ship the couple. 

he was always there when i needed him. the tae for my key, the kellin for my vic. i'm not gonna have that friend back now. 

just.. wow. 

if any of you would like to talk or need someone to vent to or need a virtual hug, wall me, pm me, kik me at killjoyshawol, facebook message Tara Pollnitz, my aff is deadbodies, just anything you need i'll do my best to help with

for anyone who's still here

Voice Recorder >>

i did a cover of backseat serenade by all time low a minute ago. my voice kinda cracks at bits and my guitar is buzzing really loud. enjoy lol i can't sing.