Tired AF|| Need Fanfic Advice||What would be best||Let me hear your voice!|| sneak peek!

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Author-rprotaku
Created
Status [M]
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http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/762652/

 


 

So, I am working on my demon themed one shot fanfic and it is almost done.

Like omg, i would be resting in my bed from my neck injury but the contest deadline is Saturday night>.>

I'll have to rest later. Like The fuuuuuuuurq

Anyhow the description is below and I might change it up. Is it good enough?


In my fanfic. Hyo Rin gets her revenge on her cheating husband. She had made a deal with Taemin the demon to save her marriage in exchange for her soul but he tricked her so she made another deal with a demon which is Jaejoong.

In the very end, Jaejoong is going to kill Hyo Rin even though he slept with her and told her that she loved him. After she makes her husband suffer, which is Kai XD


Taemin shows up.

"You & Me have unfinished business, don't tell me you've forgotten?"

"Jaejoong, don't tell me, you have fallen in love with the girl? I'm sure you know, it won't last. She will die eventually. Then, she will become a lost soul, go to heaven or hell. But, you can never be with her forever. This is a disgrace to all demons. You may sin with humans, but love them? Disgusting. As the left hand of Satan the devil, you need to be destroyed. I despise you even more for this. Shall we fight over her soul? Or, shall we split it together and become stronger? If you don't kill her, then I will."


Jaejoong and Taemin, use to be of equal power but Jaejoong is stronger due to draining some of Hyo Rin strength when he slept with her.


(The was hot as XD, heres a sneak peek)

A groan climbed out of his throat as he snagged his wet muscle out of me quickly, leaving me to twitch. I laid on the bed, completely defenselessly and lost in my mind, body, heart and soul. The world on the outside was oblivious to our sinful deeds. I felt him crawl up and his lips tainted mines with my foreign bodily substances. His tongue slipped between my shaky lips and I tasted the mild and bitter taste of my secretions on his tongue. Like a greedy baby, I led on his tongue like it was a physical ache. Finally, when I caught my breath with my eyes shut, I opened them seeing him standing up.

 

My eyes studied his large , from the very tip to how thick he was. It made my holy temple become corrupt and it quivered ,as I watched his fair hand d it softly and yet tenderly. Then I looked up at his lustful red eyes as I sat up. He spoke in lustful persuasion, "Come here on your knees. I wish to taint that mouth of yours now."

 


Should Jaejoong and Taemin fight or Taemin sees what Jaejoong is up to and then leaves?

 

But there is a catch in the end, I won't tell you guys that XD

 


He left me with marks of euphoric pain and hypnotized with me his lies and kisses.

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Demon Kissed

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Even though, I sealed the deal with a demon kiss.

There was another whisper full of strife and hate whispering in my ear leaving me to shake in fear.

"You & Me have unfinished business, don't tell me you've forgotten?"

But even if I was judged as 'crazy' all I wanted to see the blood drawn out of someone's neck.

The person I  once loved.

The person I know grew to despsise, hate.

The person who drove me insane and drived me into a cursed mental institute.

I would get my revenge...

Even if it meant selling my soul and even more.

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I became a play thing for these demons and yet I was the one who seeked them out first.

All they wanted was to strip me off of my purity and out my soul into their greedy desires.

But, there was one, just one, who let his sinful hands run across the most sensitive areas of my skin, leaving shivers through my body.

I never felt anything like it before.

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"How long were you two married?"

"Three years."

"Do you want to know how long we will be married?"

"How long?"

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Comments

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-adorkable 10 years ago
You must secretly know I love demon-themed fanfics ♥ u ♥
And the sounds super intense o///u///o I oddly love it too > u <
whatsseob 10 years ago
I.. I freakin' love it. It's amazing. I love how you told the story. I mean the structure, the words. It's perfect. And the plot, it's wonderful. I'm out of words now. Hmm.. But I can't understand what Jaejoong was planning.
Roxes12 10 years ago
Your killing more with Hyolym omg why :( I love the idea but your killing my girl.
a9c3430aa9ef480adf6c 10 years ago
I have been on the crave for a demon fic...I just might have to binge on this for awhile~~~ OMG JAEJOONG AND TAEMIN AND KAI??????? I CAN'T DECIDE IF YOU'RE SATAN OR GOD
itward 10 years ago
this is so beautiful ;-;
waahh, im going to read it!
HG_ChoiMinho 10 years ago
Oh.

I like the demon scenario.
Is this going to be some kind of harem type story?
sy-jessica 10 years ago
/sobs. I gotta be honest. Your skills are amazing.
Writing had never been a forte of mine. u w u <\3
I envy you.
win2min 10 years ago
Oh my god! Reading it!
Super-Nova 10 years ago
*smacks u with a grammar book*
there I did my job...I dont only criticize music u know -_-*
topp-klass 10 years ago
Omfg. This sounds so good.
I have to read it.
I hope you get better really soon and good luck!
orangesun 10 years ago
holy..this is a nice fic..i gotta read the full one..
good luck for the contest and get well soon from your neck injury.
interesting story..
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