Love Problems.

Yeah... pretty much explains it in the title. So basically, I like this guy. You probably already know him cause he was on one of my blogs in which I named him 'Marshmallows'. Anyway i've liked Marshmallows for about 3 years now. Yes, that long. I'm so loyal~ /slapped. Anyway, I started to sit with his group of my friends cause of some problems with one of my 'girl' friends group. And surprisingly they were totally okay with it. Obviously cause one of the dudes in Marshmallows is my primary school friend. So yeah, it went smoothly. Compared to our first meeting. Awkward, dirty minded, lots of swearing and... yeah. The me that most people don't like/hate. It was cool. Well, obviously cause I was quiet, not talking, not thinking of dirty things and... yeah the me at home, basically. So... today I started to talk to Marshmallow's friends- no I wasn't talking to him. He seems waaaaay too embarrassed or something, thats why I wouldn't want to put my hopes up for anything. Anyway, so he probably already knows that I like him. So yeah, my confession to Senpai is gone. But, when I was dancing with him two weeks ago. (Its a sport both the boys and girls school have to do in the end of the term) He was so quiet and awkward with me. Like... can you not? I wanna talk to you to put away the awkwardness but, it just doesn't seem to be working. But before dancing with him, I was having fun dancing and talking with his friends. His friends were chill, nice and yeah made me feel like a person. Unlike him, he was cold and.. mean. ;; But when I moved down to the other guys, I looked towards his way and saw him smiling and talking with other girls as if they've been BFF's since forever. Obviously, I felt cut. Like really, really cut. I mean, of course? Who wouldn't? So... i've said to myself so many times that I wanna move on from him.. (wow.. sounds like I was in a relationship. /shot.) I just can't seem to do it. Because when I look at him, I just get those butterflies again. Yes, that . Anyway, when people ask me why I like him or why I... love him. I don't know what to do or say. To be honest, I don't even know why I liked Marshmallow in the first place. Maybe it was love at first sight? Stupid I know. But what else was I supposed to say? Yes I know that he's smart, his favourite subject is math and sport, he likes anime, etc. etc. But is there actually a reason as to why I like him? Honestly, I don't know. My heart just goes doki doki, dugen dugen, beating all of a sudden for him or whenever I am around him. This seriously . My heart honestly, handle this anymore. Whenever i'm around with him, he looks the other or some . At least his friends are grateful I came by to say "Hi". /sighs. So... yeah, thats my love problem. There's probably gonna be a lot more cause yeah... ;; I honestly need help. I need help for this kind of . Because of him, my replies to my rp chara's or their relationships are always relating to him and what I wanna say to him. T_T So sad...

P.S. Sorry for all those people who I haven't replied to yet. I've been busy and life's been pretty to me. /sighs.

To all my friends in real life: So, yeah.. apparently we're going to be put into our yr 11 & 12 homerooms on orientation day. Yay.

To be honest, a part of me wants him in my class and the other no. Why? Because 1) I wanna be able to see him everyday in the morning and if our names are in alphabetical he'd possibly sit next to me. Or not. I'm so delusional. -.- And 2) Because I don't wanna embarrass myself in front of him. Cause clearly my brain doesn't function right in school. /sighs. Just kill my heart please. I don't wanna feel things anymore...