Okay so... from the previous blogs i've been making about this, I seem to have.. just lost hope. Honestly, I can't compete with a girl who is always asked to sit with them, always talks about things that "actually" interest them and yeah, is happy to be around with. No matter how y she may appear to me, she may never look like that to them. So... yeah, whatever. Lets just get this over and done with. (listens to Forevermore - Side A, Juris and David Archuleta's version over and over again)
So, I think my theory is correct. Marshmallow likes and may possibly just like both of them. So... I can't win against a girl who gets totally along with those guys. I mean, Armin doesn't seem to mind her and in fact has no problem sitting next to her, squishing his body next to her just so that Marshmallow can fit on the seat as well. She might as well just them both. But, yeah whatever. She's basically won this battle and I have nothing to do about it but walk away with shame. It's so stupid that i'm ing crying about this . Crying that this is in the way and basically won, crying that Jerk face and clueless mind are just going with the flow and crying cause no one ing understands how i'm feeling right now. But, its okay, cause i've experienced this before, all I have to do it forgive and forget. But do you really think its all that easy? I'll just start ignoring them, pretending that I never knew them before or ever. Its okay, I can cope. I always do anyway, right? So... if Marshmallow "pretends" to stand ever so close to me again or do something that'll just piss me off, then i'll just ignore him. I won't get pissed at him. I'll just think that he's a complete stranger who has creepy intentions. If Armin stares at me, i'll ignore that too. Theres no point in me liking a guy, I know won't like me back. Its all to repetitive, so my hopes are basically gone. This has happened too many times for me to be surprised. So there, you happy now ? You can have both of them all to yourself. Why don't you just sit your on their laps since you always do that anyway, just to be close to them and . I should be happy coming to school, seeing my friends, to learn new things. But no, thats not the case here. And I know most of the people i've said or talked about this to, are probs already annoyed and pissed at me for repeating the same damn thing over and over again, so... i'm sorry if you are one of them. I understand you don't like the topic so, i'll stop. I'll just keep it to myself to solve and fix since they are my problem. Anyway, today was just a day I honestly didn't give a about anything, so yeah. Bye.
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