Friends...school....breakdown

I just feel like I try too hard with my "friends". They are my closest friends at least I'd like to believe anyways, yet I feel like I'm always annoying them or just not being a good enough friend....my personality holds me back from everything and I'm crying because of it. I don't really know what to do at this point and I know all I'll end up doing is isolating myself and just being sad.

Has anyone else felt like this before. I just don't want to annoy them, the flirty or try hard flirty girl....but I'm trying to but I don't want to come off as it either because its obvious I'm not. I just don't want to be a try hard and bad friend. Like my sister called me boring and thats another worry. 

1. annoying
2. lazy
3. boring

my biggest problems....I can't stand myself sometimes basically so to not bother anyone I just isolate myself even with my own family...its a problem which is impossible to fix.

[sorry for the depressing post....I've been like this for some time. I think it's because of things from middle school and freshman year honestly. I think it has something to do with kpop since I'm easily influenced by it.]

HOW CAN I CHANGE~

also my best friend was making me really sad, not that she did something but I'm lazy and really didn't feel like walking around during color war but she kept saying I was boring and that she didn't just want to sit there, but I didn't want to move and also this one kid I think got rejected and I kept trying to comfort him yet he wouldn't talk to me so I felt like I was annoying the out of him and I was just powering down slowly as the day went on....I basically hate my life almost not dramatically though. I also always think since my school is majority white that me being the black girl always talking doesn't help so they don't really like me as well they do but not much they are just being nice to me. None of the black kids in my school [random] are for each other like the girls and guys are s and give us black folk a bad name, not all just the ones residing in my school like ugh! I need to get out of that ing school! Thats what is causing my melt down!