There goes my roleplay muse...AGAIN!

I have this feeling again that I just don't want to roleplay anymore...it has been this way for a long time and I don't know what to do about it. I don't think this is a phase either. I truly believe that my time has come to just stop roleplaying altogether. But of course I have things that hold me back. I don't want to hurt anyone and this feeling I get whenever I think of leaving the people I've made connections with is deep. But, when I make promises to people and they get upset if I mention leaving kills me but also makes me personally a bit upset like if I don't want to force anything anymore why are you making me feel bad. I've never dated so of course I don't know how it feels in reality and in non-reality, to have someone you love deeply leave you or have it being the second time or whatever, I don't understand. Again, why make someone feel bad, like some people take roleplaying very seriously but when it all comes down to it, we can't forget the true reality that we live in. You can escape but it is always there and I want to be back in that reality. I also want to focus on my writing and editing, I want to get my muse back. I need to focus on my grades since this is my most important year, I can't fail anymore, I need scholarships, I need a job, I need to live outside of here. What should I do? Understood that it all depends on me because it's my decision but please help.