Nihts like theses I want to curl up and die.....my family calls me worthless , while I am eating talk about my weight and says I am fat as a whale, I am not pretty without make up...how can any boy love me when I don't put my hair up, that I am a loser, that I will not amount to anything, when I tell them how I feel they berate me calling me a selfish brat who cares for no one but myself and if them end up dead it will be all my fault.....I don't know how much more I can take I been brooding about this for hours and this is my safe place to vent and express myself. That when I tell them that I feel depressed they tell me I am not and I am just being a baby...they never take my feeling into account it is always them....I try to see their side
When at family parties they tell me to shut up because no one wants to talk about my interest even though one of me uncles loves kpop and likes to talk about it with me. They see embarrassed that I love anime and kpop just because all my other cousin are good at sports while I am having fun with dancing and singing for kpop....they tell me I annoy the family and when I don't talk they get mad that I don't socialize with my family. It is to the point I dread every family gathering I went from a social person to a to myself shut in with my family. The worst part about it they always compare me to everyone "why can't you get A's like your cousin why can't you be pretty like ash......am I ugly....that I need makeup to cover my face...do I need to put my hair up when I like it down because it gives me head aces.....am I that dumb that you have to say that I am never going amount to anything because I don't care about others when I bring everything upstairs for them even if my foodie getting cold or I have to get out of the shower to bring up water for them and they tell me I cause their arguments or their illnesses....that I was a pain since the day I was born....I really don't know what to do....sorry for the rant I just needed to vent this or...or I don't know what I would have done...
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