— progress

Things are rolling down the hill at this point, whizzing down faster and faster. Tomorrow I depart about 10am from home, and will reach campus by noon. I probably won't be answering texts or kakaotalk till Saturday morning: just know that I'm not dead, just busy in training or unpacking. 

For one, I wanted to just give everyone a heads up that yeah, tomorrow I'm flying the coop again and have so many plans for this year. More art is to come, for sure! I'll link my instagram somewhere, or PM it to people who are interested (and you get bonus sappy stuff about my personal life). I feel like I haven't packed enough but there's a lot; as far as art, I'm only taking my drawing tablet and my sketchbook. Last year I went over board and brought my watercolor brushes, paints, colors, this, that, and the other. I don't need that to be happy and with friends being RA's, they can probably hook me up with a lot of art supplies anyways (insert huge, cheesy, unnecessary and overt wink). 

College has been my favorite part of education so far, and knowing that a lot of you are either thinking about college or starting soon, hit me up. Whether you know me or not, a quick PM can't hurt. I am mentoring incoming freshman for three days on leadership AND just how to get used to college life.

I was scared less this time last year -- panic attacks right and left, but it all subsided when I went to this preorientation program (I know, not every school has even one, or two like mine) that was two weeks long. It let me start off with a set of people that I would know before school started (we all lived together in a dorm for those two weeks and there were only 40 of us in the program - 40 was the cap). A lot of us are still close friends and it gave the confidence boost that I NEEDED. 

Also, remember that college is a blank slate; start fresh, start new because very few people (if any) have expectations of you. Even if you're not dorming, build a new, more confident you - fake it till you make it, even if you're not confident. 

I think this year I plan to do two things (among other things that I want to do AGAIN): I want to learn to enjoy, and I want to figure out/declare my major. 

Enjoyment to me comes in the form of knowing I could make a difference, or knowing I can accomplish something new. This encompasses a lot of the more specific short term goals that I have. Including more club involvement and building up my resume, I want to go to all the events I went to last year. Sporting events, socials, intern fairs, meet-and-greets with administration, everything. My dad presented me with a question to ponder and it was, "You've been at this college for a year and now know what it's like: now what do you want to do to get known on campus?" Of course, he meant 'known' with a good connotation: it's a big goal that I guess would tie in with enjoyment, because enjoyment isn't just the pleasure of knowing something. It's the journey to acquiring or knowing something. The trials and tribulations mean just as much to me as the reward. I'm ready for that challenge. 

And with regards to my major, I have a lot of insecurity. I'm not afraid of Psychology but just afraid of my own lack of commitment towards projects, work, etc. My motivation gives out on me and I don't want it to become a chore: with a positive take on it, I really don't think it will but the fear of complacency keeps me on my toes. I think I'll go for Psychology and Business - then get my M.B.A in four or five years. I understand I can always change my major but I'm still a little anxious. More on this later, I promise. I have plans to continue teaching myself astrophysics via borrowed textbooks and bootlegged/torrented documentaries. Maybe I'll get a degree in it later in life, when I want to continue learning (and have the money for it because you know... books, and then college)

With that, I leave you all with my thoughts, love, and hopes for many more interesting convos in the coming months whenever I pop on. A lot of the times, RPR is open on my phone but I reply to things at the end of the day. 

ps. I never thought I would ship Beast and Raven from Teen Titan's THI S MU CH because of damn facebook.