i have something to say

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Authorsatoori1232

Created Jan 27, 2017 02:15:23

Status [M]

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wow the text boxes are so weird looking now woahwoah

ok that isn't what i wanted to say

is it weird to feel lonely, yet you know there's people you can turn to?

i've always wondered that, when i have friends who come up to me saying they felt alone and they couldn't do it, yet i was so readily there for them.

i always thought that was a rather irrational and in the moment thing, something i've always been able to talk my friends down off of. my cousin, who also goes to my school so we're very very close, felt this way during last summer- yet we visited and talked with each other frequently. when she tried to hurt herself because she felt so alone, it broke me as well.

but now - i can't help but understand how she felt, and understand how my friends over the years have felt. it's simple- you feel as though you can't turn to anyone for what you need, so you keep it all to yourself. as if you were a burden.

but you're not. you so obviously know you're not, but humans are wired to think as if they were burdens and that talking to someone is forbidden.

i feel like this right now. i'm slowly losing the people around me, and in an attempt to lessen the blow, i'm pushing others away in the process. it's so dumb and i wanna stop.

so i'll stick in my own little bubble of everyone else, though i swear i'll still be open and welcoming and all the things i was before. i'm just-- tired of feeling like an idiot for caring. and i'm tired of always feeling sad ???? like what kind of bULL

so even if it's 26 days later, new year new me. i'll be happier and more supportive than i already was. i rant to myself most of the time anyway.

i hate when i say the "cutting the bull outta my life" bc that's just a way of saying i'm letting things and/or people go but beating around the bush.

i love you guys -- some of you are always so cute to me and i'm like what the hell i don't deserve friends like this ????¿¿?¿ ok that's enough, i need to catch up on hwarang i've bEEN SLACKING

Comments

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lucky4432 7 years ago

i understand the feeling, i think when i was younger i was really the same. I really kept most of my sadness and my thoughts to myself and even now with my best friend, sometimes telling her things doesn't make me any less lonely. I think there's a point where you just have to understand that there are people for you. That there are better days ahead and that you may lose some people but if they aren't willing to put in enough effort towards you that they aren't--necessarily worth it? You are unique and special and acknowledging that is hard but i think doing that allows you to sort of let those people go and understand that there are people who really want to get to know you in all your complexities and intricacies and all your flaws and your beauty. You'll still feel lonely but if you love yourself you'll understand that you are loved and always will be.

jaehyvnz 7 years ago

this is such a serious blog, dad. i may not be the bubbly high and ' cute ' little girl back then when i first met you, now grown older, mature, and learnt alot. things will be rough, we can shut people away, but no matter what, after awhile, you'd take the risk to open up to someone else again. it cant be prevented, and honestly, the chances of getting hurt is high. losing friends might not be a bad thing afterall, because right people are timeless. time can heal everything, and everything also happens at a certain time for a reason. i've been there, done there, and i know, being caring can be tiring, you may get affected, feel taken fir granted, we'd always think we are such burdens. but humans rely on one another all the time, someway, no one can truly be independent on their own. i just wanna say, in the process of getting hurt, you'd find out more about yourself and seek for the ' real you ' , a better and more matured you? staying happy all the time is a mission impossible, but i'd say, accept things. i may complain occasionally you ' ignore ' my kakaotalk, but i understand we're all busy and drifted slightly since years ago because we havent contacted for ages. i'm still here for you, mi protective papa < 3

glitterassgaysparkly 7 years ago

It doesn't matter what you have, sometimes you just fall into this loneliness as if you aren't worth it. I've seen it many times, i have lost friends over it. as in, lost lost. but, i always remind myself that if i was a constant burden, people wouldn't even bother messaging me, or contacting me so that pushes away the lonliness. at the same time, instead of drowning in the lonliness, i prefer to be like 'hay, im on my own, i should befriend myself while im at it' it goes a bit deeper into all the self love and stuff but not everyone have that point of view. but i understand cause my best friend sometimes feels lonely even if im there, but i get it, i understand its another type of lonliness but it all depends on how you cure it, how you cure yourself. that was just random insight of me- XD yeah was i too unrelated-- idk i just felt like saying these

albedo404 7 years ago

weeps
love ya too platonic boyfieeeee

blessings 7 years ago

it'll be good for you

HoneyMocha 7 years ago

boops your nose
ily sooooooooo much
so donut worry about a thing okay?

hixtape 7 years ago

bubs you deserve it, if you don't you aren't having it

peachtarte 7 years ago

s quishes your face
you can ALWAYS talk to me my child you have my kkt you have me here i'm always gonna listen okieeeeeee?