my babies: 7 talented souls.

i have never been a fan of big, flashy careers, a ton of attention, bragging rights, or anything like that. i have never wanted a life like that, honestly. i never wanted to be famous, never wanted to be in the spotlight, never wanted to have people paying so much attention to me all of the time that i couldnt even breathe without it going viral. that's not something im interested in. but i will support people living that lifestyle because i know how hard it can be, living in the spotlight all of the time. im sure not everyone who is in the spotlight wants to be there. im sure there are days when people get fed up with going to buy a gallon of milk just to be followed by paparazzi. i know i would. but for some people, that is simply their life. it's not something they can just change or get rid of; its something they have to deal with for the rest of their career.

there is one group i have never loved more than anything else in this world. on june 13, 2013, 7 beautiful boys were brought to our attention in the kpop world. they debuted as bangtan sonyeondan, aka BTS, aka bulletproof boy scouts. kim seokjin (jin), kim namjoon (rap monster), min yoongi (suga), jung hoseok (j hope), park jimin, kim taehyung (v), and jeon jungkook. they had this sort of... bad boy vibe to their group. they had the chains, the spitfire raps, the "i-dont-give-a-" lyrics, the grungy voices... they were lit. they were young. they were talented. they were ready to conquer the world. honestly, they really hit it off.

i remember when they debuted, everyone was rping as them on rpr. im pretty sure my first time rping someone from bts was yoongi, and it was a high school rp. it was fun, you know? having someone new to rp as. i was hardcore into them predebut, too, tracking all of their revealing and getting the ish on all the members. they revealed taehyung last, of course, and i was frustrated. as they were introducing the members, i wasn't really feeling it. i knew something was missing... and then taehyung came into play. but, my love for taehyung will come later. my first ship i rped was vkook, and although that was a toxic relationship ooc for me (i rped it with my ex girlfriend) i fell even more in love with bts. vkook (though mostly jungkook) was kind of ruined for me, though, oops.

honestly... i hated jungkook when they first debuted. dont jump on me, though. i had my reasons. i thought he played into his cute, adorable maknae role way too much and soaked up the attention like a greasy sponge. i dont remember what it was that changed my viewpoints, but i remember one day seeing this picture (click) and then i started paying more attention to him and really tried to get past the stereotype. i think it was around Dope era? who knows. but yeah, i really didnt like jungkook at first. once i saw how talented he is, i really understood that he wasn't playing into his image too much. it's just who he is. he's extra-- and not to mention, there was a good 3 months where i almost let him wreck my bias list to be wrecker. NO NOT TODAY GOOD SIR THANK YOU (just finished reading it over, and lol i made a reference without even trying to). im pretty sure my instagram was "jeondaddy" for a while. whoops. 

when i was introducing bts to my old best friend, i was having her name all the members. it was disheartening, because she kept pointing to jin and said "he's a backup dancer, right?" -- e x h a l e s... speaking of jin! if you want to see the epitome of hard work, look to none other than kim seokjin. he may not be the most talented in bts, but that boy is putting all of his hard work and love into the things he does for bts. he doesn't have as much raw talent as the other members, that is inarguable, but think about it... he's working his  off to be great. he has gotten so much better with dancing and singing. he has powerful vocals, and sometimes he may have two left feet but at least he tries. i remember the day that jin's vocals really took off; it was during a performance of Run, and he switched from using his head voice to his chest voice and it was just BOOM. jin gets help from hobi to get better at dancing and help from jungkook to get better at singing. he is a princess, and i dont care what other people say... he is amazing. there's a reason why he is the mother of the group, why he is the visual. stan beauty, stan perfection, stan talent... stan jin.

sunshine can come in many forms, but i prefer jung hoseok as my source of vitamin d. i have never seen someone so bright and sunshiny and happy. he has been one of the biggest sources of inspiration and love that i have had for the past few years, and it's great. he has pure raw talent, something i wish i had. he is a talented dancer, and that... that is something i really look up to. little personal note here, but dancing is my passion. it has gotten me through a lot of things, including depression, and it is something i find comes naturally to me. i have learned each and every bts coreography, and no, i may not be as good as bts themselves, but i try. i work hard, and it is my release. anyways, back to hobi! something i wish and hope he would realize is that yes, we love him being happy and cheery, but that's not all that we need. i know for me, i'd like to see him expressing his emotions. he's so strong, you know? im so proud of him. i hope we continue to see his smile more and more.

honestly, i love yoongi. so freaking much. when he came out with his mixtape, that's when i knew that he had a special place in my heart for sure. yeah, i have a connection to him, and if you know his story (all of the stuff behind the music from his mixtape; if you don't know it, then... yeah) then you'd understand that life is hard. yoongi is an inspiration to me because he has his own struggles and yet... here he is, talented and thriving. he may not be enjoying every single second of his life, and who knows what goes on in his head, but he's making the best out of his circumstances and running with the gifts he has. his lyrics are honestly what has picked me up time and time again, giving me hope and realization that things may be hard but it's life, you just need to get up, dust yourself off, and keep moving. life isnt going to stop for you, so you need to keep up with life.

namjoon. i just let out a big sigh with a huge smile plastered on my face. honestly, he has gotten so much for all of the hard work he does for bts. there's always some controversy to whatever it is that he does, but it's stupid. he's the leader, he does so much for bts, and he's one of the more underrated members. i dont understand? he's full of aesthetics, always getting into the deep stuff life has to offer, and no, he may not be a jungkook or taehyung or jimin, but just because he isnt one of them doesn't mean anything. he's hilarious, charismatic, and absolutely beautiful. why-- why are people sleeping on him? think of what he does for bts; there is no ARMY without RM. sleep on namjoon, i dare you, and you will catch these hands. i may be smol but i and full of passion! ò n ó

park jimin, the floofiest floof you will ever see on the face of the earth. 75% extra and 25% cute, that boy is. i freaking love him so much. he has the voice of an angel, the thighs of a god, and skills that no one can match. honestly, i adore him. i also didnt really like jimin for a while, i thought he was too fluffy and i was just turned off by the overly cute image of him. i also didnt think he was all that attractive, and y'all can come at me all you want but it's just how i thought. i love him, though. he's so amazing, so talented, and i really can't help but feel pride well up in my heart when i see him. again, he's an inspiration for me and dancing. i love him, and he's super duper talented (i mean just look at his thighs)!!!!

inhales deeply. the love of my life. kim taehyung. for those who have known me for a while (either on this account or my old one) you all know how much i love him. i just had to stop for a good 5 minutes to stop myself from crying. jesus, i love him. he has been... i dont know... he's been my pickmeup for the last three years. something personal here: i was going through horrible depression in 2013, and about the time that it was getting really bad, bts debuted. fate intervened, to say the least. basically... taehyung saved my life. he may not ever know that, but it's fine. i would have been long gone by now if i hadn't thrown myself into bts and everything they had to offer. his smile is my saving grace, his laugh is my lullaby, his voice is my anchor. he is my everything. hell, i may be 100% gay (i love you jess o u o) but kim taehyung can have me any day. there's honestly so much i could say about him, but i don't know where to start or if i would ever end. i just know that he really is my saving grace, he is everything to me, he means... so, so much to me. i just-- im gonna stop myself here. if you ever wanna hear my rants about taehyung, check my old account. i have ahuge blog post where i posted my poems about him. i might go find them and post them some time. who knows.

so, this past year, i went to kcon new york. i had a hi touch for ailee, eric nam, day6 and audience for mamamoo and seventeen for my artist engagements. i had p1 standing tickets (i was in the pit, yo). i had the privelege to shake ailee's hand and get told i was beautiful (where i then passed out after leaving the stage, mostly from heat but also ??!?!?!?? AILEE!!?!?!). eric nam and i have a pretty good acquaintanceship (?) and he actually recognized me (he goes to boston too much, and i've run into him so many times rip). brian and jae are extra as hell, and yes, wonpil is definitely as cute as he is portrayed. minghao swooped in and touched my hand when i was trying to get josh's attention, and jeonghan gave me a heart (no one was paying attention to him so i was aggressively screaming to him and waving and when i made a heart to him i got arm hearts back kwhrgbkhre). yeah. all of that was great, but the best part was when bts came on stage. the intro to fire was playing, and everyone screamed, and you couldnt even hear the song most of the time because of us. when they were all introducing themselves,  i swear i have never heard so many people cheering for jin in my life, and i was so proud and happy. taehyung, im pretty sure, was at least a little drunk (he may have said it was just a joke in his tweets, but up close, his eyes were all red and swollen and he was stumbling around the stage and... well, i dunno. it could have been him just being him, but we all know what happens when taehyung gets drunk has war flashbacks to taehyung kissing jimin's plushie). and he didnt even say much other than "ARE YOU GUYS READDDDDYYYYY!??!??" but the best part was yoongi's intro. he didn't say a single thing. he took his time, and everyone screamed. he his lips, we screamed louder. he took his earpiece out, cupped his ear, and yet we still screamed louder. and then he simply said "im min yoongi." what. an. introduction. it was amazing. the performances were great (they did Dope, Fire, Save Me, Boys With Fun, and Cypher pt 3). during Boys With Fun, jhope was making his way down the stage. i had somehow managed to wiggle my tiny lil right up against the railing on the side, and i was reaching my teeny tiny arm out while recording. and i had god reach down, sweep his arm through the crowd, and connect our hands for that 0.2 seconds. i was in heaven. i screamed and cried and lost it. jung hoseok, the shunshine of bts, touched my hand. jimin flicked a piece of sweaty confetti off his forehead and it landed on my phone, so you can imagine i kept that too. yoongi was extra and wouldn't lean down to us in the crowd. taehyung was... out of it. jungkook teased multiple times and went to go high five us but would snag his hand away before anyone could reach it, most of the time. jimin just kept body rolling, the little -- jin was cute, so so cute, and namjoon? he just pranced up and down the stage, lit af. they had so much fun, and i loved it. i loved seeing them up on stage. kim taehyung was the last one off the stage that night, dabbing his way out with jungkook, and jin had to drag both of them out. taehyung also rolled around in confetti, the little baby. it was amazing. truly amazing. it was the best concert experience i have ever had.

they have literally started from the bottom and worked their way up. their first crowd for their debut stage was-- tiny. it was a small venue. and now? so. many. people. i dont know where i was really going with this post other than ranting about my bias group, but... yeah. i love them. to me, they are super talented, and i wouldn't want them to be seen as anything else. sure, there are all the antifans who can't stand that bts has the spotlight over a lot of other bands, but who cares? these are our boys. i hate that they get attacked in foreign places, that they're afraid of international fans, and that they never get enough rest. i hate that people hate on the hyung line and favore the maknae line. i hate that people think bts is overrated, that they're untalented, that they're pathetic. but this is also just how it is. i know for me, if i saw them on the street, i wouldn't dream of going up to them and asking for an autograph. i would be amazed, maybe snap a picture from a distance, but i would leave them be. they're humans. they want to live their lives. we need to stop being sasaengs and attacking them just because we love them; if you really loved them, with all of your heart, you'd be able to restrain yourself. i don't know, that's just my thoughts.

bias list, roughly:
1. taehyung & hoseok (i cant choose--)
2. jungkook & jimin (they swap places every once in a while)
3. yoongi, jin, and namjoon (they switch around a lot)

anyway, here's some of the iconic moments in our journey with bts. i worked hard on this stuff and finding it, so i hope y'all like my list.

✧ debut stage.
✧ first win.
✧ after school club (1 and 2)
✧ mama 2016.
✧ kcon 2016 (ny and la).
✧ hyyh era.
✧ blood sweat and tears.
✧ i know (RM & JK).
✧ latest comeback stage.
✧ daesang artist of the year (2016).
✧ agust d.
✧ that one really stupid commerical thing they did with gfriend.
✧ the commercial they did with jessi.
✧ if there's anything more you think i should add, please comment below and i'll try to get it in here!

wow. okay. i wrote a lot about bts. i shall end it here, but yeah. we're running on 4 years with bts, guys. im a proud supporter.
luna out.
/drops the mic

11833 characters, 2833 words.