Looking Back (2015)

This is a continuation of my graduation thoughts blog posts

To see 2014, click here

2015

2015 marks my second year in studying Mass Communications in the polytechnic. This was also the year where I soon met my 'second family', the members of the Service Learning Club. Honestly, I signed up as a sub-committee member for a project called the EIPIC Family Day 8 . There, I got to know a few crazy people, like Angel, E twins, Na, and even juniors like Jace, Jan, Hui, etc. I had ups and downs too, especially when two of these people involved got into a messy hook-up, only to break up and create much drama. From there, I had my patience and tolerance tested, to the point where I can even cry in front of my own friends because of so much that had happened. Everything was so messy, it made my head hurt, it made my heart hurt. It didn't help that the girl involved in the messy hook-up started telling almost everyone in Service Learning Club to gain sympathy votes, and that worked. Cause no one ended up supporting that guy in the end.

Angel decided to comfort the girl, but in the process. it threatened his relationships with everyone else, including mine. Angel and Na are my two bestest friends there, to see their relationship dissolved all because of this made me even more upset, but what could I do? Na didn't want to talk to Angel for a while, and I could only look after Na while Angel continued staying by the girl's side. The girl didn't let even anyone talk to Angel in peace, she was always there sticking like glue to him, it's disgusting. Angel even broke some of the promises he made to me all because of the girl, and for once, I felt myself sinking back into suicidal thoughts. It's just felt that I had run back to square one, all lost and hopeless. Suicidal thoughts didn't left my mind.

At that time, I was considering on who were my really true friends. A previous blog post I made, talked about an issue I have with a friend. From then on, I never really considered this person to be a friend. Friends don't abandon each other, or at least, that's what I thought. In class, I only had Nico to depend on, to rant all my troubles happening in both Service Learning Club and even in my own classroom (Nico and I are in different classes for Year 2), that as a result of being so lost and broken, I cried in her classroom while talking to her. I didn't have the heart to attend class or any activities that Service Learning Club had organised. In the end, I took an indefinite hiatus.

That was where Angel came to talk to me again. He knew that I had suicidal thoughts, cause to be frank, he did too. He's really good at hiding his emotions. We had to talk through everything that was laying heavily in our hearts, and after those few sessions, I finally felt peace in my heart in a very long while. I was still upset that he was still with the girl, comforting her. It just felt that, he was wrapped around her finger. It didn't help to lessen the tension of his relationships with his other friends. By then, all of us just wanted the girl to get out of our lives and stop the drama, cause it was affecting the whole Service Learning Club.

By this time, I know my patience and tolerance levels were never going to be the same as before.. Who knew, I had to encounter a much bigger challenge in 2016. I'll talk more about 2016 when I look back upon it, til then, stay tuned..