i always think

about old friends- it's a strange thought process.

just, in general,

i don't get super nostalgic or anything, i seem to be pretty okay at keeping friends. sometimes on here i lose touch with people from a couple years ago, bc i used to take long af hiatuses off here and off kkt for the most part.

and at school too, all of my current friends i've known for years and years. the longest friend who still goes to my school, i've known for six years now. the rest i've known all of high school.

old friends are like remnants of the "old you" and that blows my mind.

when the friend i've known since like grade seven brings something up that we used to do during "lunch recess", i'm like "woahhhh i could never imagine myself doing that now how did i do that before." we used to be problematic little s tbh- the complete opposite to the totally mellowed out and constantly crazy way we are now.

or, since my class is the last graduating class of my school, the yearbook committee is collecting old pictures from when we were all in grade nine till current year, when we were cute little new kids. i saw so many pictures of me with friends who i'm still really close to- and we're laughing and having a good time, but it was at a time where i totally wasn't in a good place. i was an awkward little sad kid who couldn't even figure out if they really like ies or not :-( okno but okyes glad i figured that out ies are gr8

and on here- i think i only have a handful of people i thoroughly remember being friends with for years. like my snowchild fion or diana- people i've known for like four years, and it's cRAZy when they bring up things from the past

because i'm like "holy ing moly nope i useD to do that- wE used to do that i--- nope" 

it makes me deliriously happy thinking about how much not only me, but people around me have grown. i look at friends i've known for like a year as well, and think- we're different from then than how we are now. it's completely iNSaNE

growing up is fun- i love it, weirdly. i bought my grad dress today- i was too lazy to go through the process for a suit or tux, so i gave in and got a dress. like w  o w it's real like i'm done i'm gone

so just- i guess, thanks for being on this journey with me? look back at how much you've grown and get awestruck with me, or nostalgic i dunno. i'm proud that we've all gotten to this point right now, and we're still fighting the good fight. so y'ALL BETTER KEEP FIGHTING. i'm rooting for you < 3 we grow up more and more every day. i love you guys!!!