disclaimer bc my mind is a mess and this might not even make sense but oh well--
so like i've been mostly mia the last half year/five months and i've kinda lost feelings here? i've lost my drive and purpose to be here, run my rp and all and now that i'm trying to get into the motions of being existent again- i just
i doNT KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
like do i fit in anymore? can i keep up with the face past chat lingo- there's all this new 'vocabulary' or trendy words and i'm here like s w e a t s what am i doing. or i just feel out of touch with all the people who i'd consider as friends/acquaintances/buddies/yehet.
i hope my friends don't think i'm trying to distance myself from them, i'll still love and talk to them with the same enthusiasm and fiery crazy i've always had but ahhhh to the general public.
i guess a part of it comes down to the disappointment/anger i have at myself for letting something that was so cherished and important to me, and others, just kinda flop. like wow how could i do that? when i had such a drive and part of my pride was being somewhat known as, oh that person that has an rp that's been there 'forever' (not forever but forever to a part of me) idk like am i a disappointment to people? to myself? my purpose on this website for awhile, was just to run my rp and keep a place around for people, and just watch over everyone. where am i going with all this? a part of me is like wow i'm such a lil for just whining
what's my purpose here now? do i pick off where i left off? close off that chapter of my life and just move on? become another roaming soul... does anyone just have any general advice? like should i cling desperately or let it go and put it to rest? whY DON'T I KNOOOW.
on the side note- chungha's solo is still a mother trucking jam i loVE HER OKAY AAGH.
other side note, i've taken a liking to instagram rping, or well maybe it's the fact its a conveinent app and i get notification bloops. or maybe i just really like the hoshi i met and wao i'm soft. if you see seclude anywhere, tell mi baby he's cute okay and very new to this platform of rping. he's a precious fluff who i must keep safe.
++ oNE MORE THING- WHO ARE YOU GUYS? OH MY GOSH ALL THESE NEW USERNAMES/ACCOUNTS HAVE ME LOST AAAHH.
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