sen and naeri met in college at a party. they dropped acid and ate each other's and when they woke up next to each other the next morning, they did it all over again. the two were ride or die, they did every drug together and when exams came around they shared the adderall. there was nothing that could separate the two from each other, they knew everything about each other, and after landing a stable job, living with each other for how many years now, sen decided to pop the question and settle down. of course naeri said yes, there was no reason not to, he was her ride or die. they got married, bought a house together, and now live their lives working a 9 to 5, coming home to each other as put together adults. on the weekend, instead of getting high at the club, they'd wake up early, exercise together, and do house chores. last week, they bought a new vacuum that could reach their ceiling, and they were genuinely excited to get it in the mail. their lunches are meal prepped on sundays and they were doing 'keto.' in college, sen would rail coke off naeri's and ram her in the and now they were doing KETO? if that weren't bad enough, they stopped drinking and smoking because they've been talking about kids - or should i say naeri's been talking about kids. her biological clock was ticking, her friends were having babies, and with every baby shower naeri would come back with the new ambition to have a kid - but goodness, they barely even had time for each other, and to throw a kid on top of that? hell no tf. but it was cool because naeri is going to have a hard time having kids anyway - her hormones were unbalanced from drug abuse, she was underweight, her periods were irregular to begin with - sen could hit that no rubber without any fear of making a mini me. and that kinda pissed naeri off because it was like he didn't even care. realistically, she knew it would be hard for them to have kids, she'd have to take leave off from work and sen would have to be the sole provider, and it wasn't as if they had much time anyway but she was frustrated and when she'd talk about it, sen would just shrug it off with an "okay" and wO W that really pissed her off. their arguments spiralled from sen not trying enough to touch on the subject to sen not caring about her feelings to sen being like wTF ARE YOU CRAZY because tbh she was being a little crazy and from there, it became about being adults, the spark that they had when they first fell in love that dulled with time, they still loved each other but they couldn't recognize themselves anymore. who tf were these put together adults who sleep at 9pm on the dot to get their full 8 hours of sleep? the last time they checked, they were crazy kids who didn't have a care in the world and now they get regular check ups and take vitamins because their bowels are irregular and buy pain relief patches in bulk because their joints ache when they do that thing in bed. their marriage has been straining not because they don't love each other anymore but because they don't recognize themselves anymore - how are they supposed to be sure that the other person is still in love with them when they've changed this much?

name: sen mitsuji
age: 30
partner: naeri (married)
Occupation: business operations manager
hobbies: baseball, golf, fast cars that go vrooom, occasional lift
languages: english (fluent), japanese (conversational), korean (basic), russian (bare basics)
education: MBA, baseball scholarship
trivia: can cross his eyes, on his company baseball team, has back problems because he's an old man

background: born and raised in sydney. his father was a young business man from japan who relocated to sydney for company expansion. there, he met sen's mother. they were from two different worlds but communication wasn't a problem when they had each other... in the beginning. slowly, their passionate romance was being dulled down by the lack of communication, they loved each other but didn't know how to say it between his father's businessman facade and his mother's free-spirited self-doubt. sen was conceived in the hopes of repairing a broken relationship. his mother wanted to make sure that she was still loved, but a child solves nothing and makes life more complicated. his father traveled back and forth to japan, their relationship was growing apart, sen was still a child but he saw the way his mother looked when his father was gone, and the way his father looked when he was here. his father didn't love his mother anymore but always came back for sen's sake. naturally, sen grew up to be a mama's boy, always trying to make her happy in place of his father, but he wanted his father's approval as well, after all, he only came back for sen - and if he wasn't a good son, would he stop coming back? A child plagued of worries and doubts, he channeled his emotions into sports instead of communicating his feelings to others. Sen fell in love with baseball and he was good at it. he made his high school baseball team and that was when he really got to be able to find new ways to channel his frustrations. the team showed him new ways to have fun. dumb teenage drinking parties, stealing just for the heck of it, the concept of friends with benefits. let's be real now, sen didn't care about any of that , it was just something to do and all his homies were doing it. I mean, drinking was cool but it wasn't something he'd drink for himself unless he was trying to forget something, and even then, that's not for himself. stealing was kinda dumb, he was fast and sneaky and he could do it, but what was the point? he did it anyway. Never the main culprit, always the accomplice. The concept of friends with benefits ed him up emotionally. He had relationships before, cute little puppy love relationships. he'd hold her hand to class, she'd kiss him on the cheek goodbye, cute vanilla . But he was "good enough" for that girl and from there he'd try harder to be better than the boys she'd date after him. He learned how to be gentle and rough, how to flirt and cuddle, how to be emotionally available but eventually none of that really mattered because the girls he practiced on were easy idiots. when friends with benefits became a thing, he could abandon the emotional part of the relationship and just focus on the . the eating, pounding, stringless . he didn't have to pretend to listen to her ramble on about astrology or whatever, she'd be gone the next morning - or else he'd shoo them away. but there was just something empty about the way he lived this life. maybe it was stress from school and the team, his parents disciplining him to be a good kid, letting out his puberty fueled emotions. Small things made him nervous now and a smoke would blow that all away. with his nerves calmed at the inhale of a cigarette, he could face anything. But smoking took a hit on his lungs and he didn't want to rely on his parents for college - so he started doping to boost his stats in baseball. it wasn't even that much, honestly, he was always a good player but it gave him that small boost to get him that scholarship he needed and amazingly he didn't get caught! not even once. good job, sen! But wow, realizing that he could get away with doping opened the doors for sen to do more drugs. he still doped a bit in college, started smoking weed like the edgy kid he is, it was great because now he was legal to drink in public and it was chill to just get smashfaced at the bar and around. during his sophomore year, he dropped acid for the first time - and it started a chain reaction of bad habits. god, he could barely remember what happened, but he sure did remember his getting . sen woke up the morning after to a freshman, , in bed beside him. she was cute, skinny with no curves, but damn, he'd ram that again. then, her eye opened. their gazes met and they both popped another tab and did it all over again. , this girl was a freak - and he loved every bit of it. she wasn't a dead fish in bed, this rode him like a ing rodeo, ate hiss like she was slobberingly starved, sen discovered things he liked that he never knew he'd like with her and - he wanted to do it all over again. she was so bendable and small, he thought he'd break everytime she got into a new position and rammed it in her but holy this chick was sturdy. and man, at first it was the drugs and the that he liked about her, but as time went by, sen began to get to know her better. she was intelligent, her foreign accent was unique and adorable, she understood sen in a way that nobody ever had, he felt safe to tell her about his emotion, his worries, his problems, and she'd listen and give him the support he needed. idek how a one night stand turned into this, but sen fell in love hard. even after railing coke off her and ing her, he still felt butterflies when he looked at her and he wished the same with her. sen became her source of support and affection and care, he was slacking on his studies and his career, his baseball games as well, but after falling in love with her, he began to have a purpose. Occassionally, they'd do a recreational drug but now it was time to get serious. and the drug for that was adderall. the two of them would study together, clean the apartment they moved in with each other in, and when they were all done, they'd each other all night because damn of that damn good adderall, bless you. with the power of adderall, the both of them were able to graduate with flying colors. into the real world, sen's father had reserved a position for him in the company with his connections and after a year of stable employment, knowing the company needed him and after years of cohabiting with his girl, he popped the question of marriage and married the love of his life. They bought a house together: 4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathroom, a nice and big backyard. it was definitely a house meant to start a family in. i mean, they use two bedrooms for separate home offices and the other room for a guest room, but when the time calls, they could renovate to make room for a kid. But the problem was that sen wasn't ready for kids. His parent had a relationship he imagined to be similar to hi marriage and he saw that tear apart and he remembered the way it made him feel as as a kid and sen was afraid of following his father's footsteps. Not only that but neither of them had time for each other, much less for a kid. They both worked and travelled and were involved in their companies, they had the small window of dinner, breakfast, and the weekend to enjoy each other. i mean, sure ting is the world's greatest invention but like damn you can't t a baby. Sen just wants more time to spend with naeri, it's been like four years now but, with her, there would never be enough time. And not just that but it was also going to be difficult for them to have kids to begin with. Naeri's body chemistry made it difficult for her to get pregnant. she was irregular and honestly, they've had a few scares before because sen is all about his pull out game, but when they went to the hospital, they found out that the chance of her getting pregnant was slim and sent them along their way to the rest of their day. but that was three years ago and since then, they've been cleaning up their habits and diets, and tbh sen is kinda scared to get her knocked up so he ends up opting for as much as possible. but sen also doen't want naeri to get stressed over making a baby either. he's afraid she'd blame herself for not being able to give him a child. he's afraid of the complications that could go wrong in the process. He's deathly afraid of her miscarrying, knowing it'd break her heart, knowing how likely it was for her to miscarry with the body chemistry she had. He wanted to wait until he wa ready to deal with all of the possibilties that could go wrong to finally say yes. Plus, he wanted to make sure that they could save a much as possible for a secure future for their child, sen's doing all that he can to ensure that they could live comfortably on a single income once the time comes. and above all that, honestly, sen can't recognize himself anymore. He doesn't know who he is, he looks in the mirror and sees an adult when the sen that he knows is a college kid who drops acid and chooclate s his girlfriend. he was nothing like the sen he was when they first met and there was a sense of doubt in sen that maybe the reason why his parents weren't happy together anymore was because they didn't know each other anymore. and he was scared that he was doing the same thing his parents were without knowing it. god, he still loves naeri to death, the love that he has for her has done nothing but grow the longer they've been together, but he wonders if she thinks the same as wel - but it's just so hard to put into words. he's scared that maybe she'd fallen out of love with him and she's just using a child to repair the relationship like his mother did and before they can even plan on having a child, they need to understand themselves first and why and how they love each other so much.   

-8 gmt
i'm a working college student so uh replies nugu
i surprisingly love to detail but you gotta get me in the mood and also be okay with crack because that's just my personality i'm sorry idk how to be serious.