Personal Message
| DPs |
Name: Jung Hoseok
Age: 22
Jamm Ent. : yep still in Jamm Ent
Real Personality (I decided to keep this section): friendly, easy to get along with
Short Bio: Brought up from a conservative background, it took 2 auditions for 2 agencies against his father’s wishes until cjamm’s agency took him in & made him a trainee. He mainly dances but if the group needs something else, he’s flexible (just like he did in rl with rapping). He went through three boy groups and one image change from a “sunshine” rapper to the visual singer “noona attractor” while still being a trainee. He had difficulties bc he wasn’t used to acting to fit the role the new CEO gave him, He tried manly, mischievous but none of it worked. Thanks to a Japanese themed photoshoot emphasizing the feminity of asians, though, he realized his calling. Cjamm was right. He appealed to a wider audience when he looked peaceful, sweet or playfully alluring. When he tried to look manly, he just came off as intimidatingly funny. Though it still hurt his pride, he had to face that reality to move forward. Still, the experience helped him gain new skills.
Yet again, his third group started drifting apart due to the members’ other priorities. In addition to that, the company itself was starting to lose sales as well. It seemed like both Hoseok and Cjamm Ent. would fail without even having a real chance. Fortunately, a miracle happened. Cjamm took his position as the CEO again. Now both Cjamm Ent and Hoseok’s fate is in Cjamm’s hands.
Preferred POV: I feel like I keep repeating this but...detailed 1st pls! I’m also good with 3rd pov-but only if they don’t expect me to write 3rd POV back : )
Also I could care less about the length of you guys' replies. I care more about the quality and content in them that'll help me continue replying rather than the actual length-esp since I don't mirror replies either : P
Password: I stayed for only the singing career in the other rp, but if the company wants hoseok, when the group actually debuts & gets more popular, to broaden hoseok’s reach enough to make him go into acting, he’ll definitely do that! : )
Description
Jung
about me and personality.
You probably noticed but the "do not open" marking isn't there just because. DO NOT READ! I will find you and kill you-just like that meme guy. You have been warned...
I'm serious!
Friends
Journal Entries
August 17th, 2017
I was ruffling around for my old sneakers since I tore my old ones when I found this. No, it's not a diary. It's annoying when people call it that. It's my journal from high school. I thought I left it at home but here, I'm sitting, enjoying reading through my past. I had a long life heh. Of course, I still haven't gotten over her but with time, I will. But anyways, that's not what I wanted to say. Looking through my journal, I was shocked at how far I've come. Today, Cjamm pd-nim finally assigned me to my band group and I'm so excited! After some years- I finally have one! 4Kisses! Even the name sounds sweet! Well, my position's a bit weird tho ahem Sunshine, but that's not too bad. I have to try my best! I'm supposed to meet them soon~ I'm so excited! Oh wait, I said that already. Oh! My phone alarm rang! Gtg, trainees don't get to rest for too long after all~
August 19th, 2017
The weirdest thing happened to me today. Or wait, more like the weirdest person. After that notice, I changed my schedule maybe too fast. All the stress I had to do to be able to show Cjamm pd-nim that I'm worth the money and worth being in 4kisses caught up to me. To have to do so much, it scared me a lot. That day that kid walked in- but that part was normal. It was after that, that it got weird. I tried to brush off the fact I was crying and made some story about how I was listening for a ghost and get this. He believed it! And my friends said I was gullible! Yeahp, that's all that really happened. g'night, you can probably tell by my writing but I'm exhausted.
August 20th, 2017
It's been a day and I'm slowly starting to get used to my new schedule. Luckily, 4kisses isn't rap centered, so I don't think I need to go full out, yet. But me being me, I at least added more rap music to my dance playlists- just to get a sense of what I might be doing when my rapping lessons start. Also, I bumped into that weird guy again. His name's Taehyung from a band called YourKitty. A visual and vocal. Apparently, they're about to debut. I don't know about you but I've been here longer than he has, so all of that definitely, rubbed me the wrong way. I was about to disregard him as one of those handsome jerk idols who'd walk over anyone to get to their goal but he's actually, a lot more than I gave him credit for. (maybe it was the looks that threw me off, dammit Hoseok! What did Omma say to not judge books by their covers!) Anyways, we started talking and he, too hadn't been able to actually talk to his bandmates-well except his leader. We kinda bonded over that and I guess I made a new friend.
August 29th, 2017
It's been about a week since I wrote in here but not much's changed. I've met people other than Taehyung, but still haven't gotten to talk to the really important people in my future, yet: my bandmates. But it'll be okay. They're probably just busy and never read my kkt, yet- you know, idol stuff. I mean, a lot of idols are like that, right? I am, too but I'd still make time to get to know my colleagues, you know? Anyways, practice and homework are getting hectic. It's tiresome but if I push through, I'll get my dream to come true. Omma, I love you and I miss you...a lot. Okay, enough. I got lessons to attend.
September 8th, 2017
I'm starting to worry again. Is this a sign? How come I've still not seen my bandmates' faces? I mean, I've been here for over a month now and I still haven't see them in the dorm. What else could I guess it could be? What if our group never makes it to debut? What if Cjamm pd-nim kicks some of us out? My heart is beating super hard. The tears are dripping down this page. I'm sorry I couldn't save you, journal. I'm really sorry.
September 12th, 2017
I was right. 4Kisses has officially disbanded. The good news is that I'm still in the company-just moved around, but after 4kisses, I can't help but feel I lost a part of myself. I don't know but I guess it was a really strong experience, coming to the empty dorm and all. I'm not that "Sunshine image" that can always see the bright side. I just hope a lot. So much that it hurts and I know I shouldn't keep hoping but still I naively do. So in this case, all I hope for is one of them to talk to me. That's it.
September 20th, 2017
Guess what! I met them! Well...not literally, but hey. At least two of my group members answered my kkt. So that's definitely improvement from 4kisses. I don't know, maybe things could get better! At least, I was noticed you know? That's a step in the right direction. The leader asked me to meet up, so I'm just really excited to get to know one of my colleagues. Of course, I played it cool in the texts though (you know, the whole "dont't act too desperate" thing). Now I'm just waiting for his text to confirm the date and time. Aghhh! I'm so excited!
September 21st, 2017
It's been a whole day since my text and he still hasn't replied. I'm really not the type to ask people again. If he forgot, he forgot. If he had other priorities to take care of, then I guess I wasn't important enough to actually be remembered. Even if I am one of his bandmates...I don't know. My social life's been okay but I came here for a good team, not a social life. I have plenty of high school friends who could fit that category. On the upside, another bandmate had posted in kkt, but as much as I want to meet him, I can't scare him off. I'll just play it safe and hopefully, one of us can bring up the subject of actually meeting. Hopefully.
September 25th, 2017
The days pass by and I'm growing worried again. The other bandmate Taehyun (I think) and I haven't actually progressed on that meeting up thing and I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever meet any of my bandmates. It's scary to think what happened with 4kisses might happen again. And this time I might actually be removed altogether from the only agency who decided to take me in. I'm not handsome like Taehyung, a good rapper like my colleagues nor as talented as Hansol so it's really possible. Actually, now that I think of it, I have no clue why they even gave me a chance. All I have is dancing, so why...?
October 3rd, 2017
Reading through my entries again, I realized that all I've been writing is bad news so! You'll be happy to hear, today will be something better! Hip hip hooray! I mean, my workload has increased and now that I've been assigned to rap in an actual rap oriented band group (there's ing 4 rappers including me! That's half the line!), I've had an even more stressful schedule. But my social life is getting better-at least. I know I said I don't care about it as much but it's still nice to escape the stresses of life with friendships, especially, since you can't call home all the time. Obviously, I still want my work relationships to grow, but for this time, I'll be okay with it. Anyways, I fell in love with dancing all over again. It started when I bumped into Taehyung, aka that weird kid (yeah, I still think he's weird even if we're friends). I was stressed a whole lot about how to work the vocal studio that instead, I decided to take a mental break and heard music from the dance room. It was Taehyung. That's the first time I saw the kid in the dance studio. I guess we both made the same schedule but instead of practicing our strengths, we were practicing our weaknesses now. Anyways, as a dancer Hyung, I gave him pointers on how to improve and even showed him how to express emotion in dancing. Five minutes in, though, I couldn't think about anything lesson-related but the beats pulsing under my feet. It was literally like floating on air except for the squeaks from my worn shoes. But that didn't matter. I was in love. In love with all of the imperfections in that cold studio. I realized afterwards that yeah, dancing is my life. Even if I might not make it in this agency, I'll find out how to make it altogether. I'd prefer to make it here still, though...
October 11th, 2017
You might not know this about me, but I'm an avid follower of allkpop- their CJAMM Ent section at least. Even between practices, I'll scan the articles and have a good laugh at all the weird couple names the writers come up with (Young Kwang really likes guy pairings, too so that's interesting...). I even laughed at the article about me meeting Taehyung. It really wasn't that big of a deal, but they made it out to be one. (Still, don't get why they got my group name wrong, but looking back, it definitely foreshadowed who my band group would be). The fans' are so funny, too. It makes me that much more eager to debut, so I would have stuff written about me, too. But that's not what I wanted to talk about. This week's article affirmed my fears. Kcid's leader might already be dating someone let alone, my friend Taehyung. Hell, I don't even have spare time unless I force myself to the point of exhaustion! That means that this guy had time to look at his phone and didn't. That means that I could've easily met someone from my band but couldn't. That today, just put into perspective how meaningless I might be to the band. IF the leader doesn't, the group doesn't value me either.
October 13th, 2017
Today was an exhausting day like usual but the fact that my past realization might be true made it even harder. I could barely get up to go to my lessons and even when I did, I felt like I didn't retain anything at all, only continuing to worry myself about the possibility of a removal. In that time, my thoughts even grew darker to wondering if I should just quit altogether. Luckily, after lessons was dance practice so I used that time to let my stress go. Another article came in today, clarifying leader and Taehyung's relationship. Maybe it made me feel better to hear the leader wasn't dating anyone but it was still sad to think that he still talked to the kid despite all his own sadness. I know, it might've just been a right time right place thing and leader might've not been expecting it, but can you blame me? I've been ignored countless times from my own bandmates, any feeling of understanding's slowly disappearing. Still, I'm sorry Leader's dealing with a one sided love. I've had my share, too. Part of the reason I pushed myself earlier in 4kisses was because I had to forget about my girlfriend. Of course, my story's different from his but one sided love's can really hurt. Even now, I'm still hesitant to have another relationship because of her.
October 22nd, 2017
Something really shocking happened today. CEO Cjamm, the one who's in charge of Cjamm Ent and the one who gave me a chance, left the company. Rumour has it he's been dealt with some hard personal stuff but I don't know the details. Like any company, though, just because the CEO leaves, doesn't mean the company shuts down. (That's only in bankruptcy...I think..?) so now we have a new CEO and manager. I'm on edge though. What If the new boss changes things? I mean, it was cjamm who saw something in me. The new boss could easily not and make it that much easier to let me go. Damn...sometimes I just wish I was born handsome so I could meet the basic criteria...
October 29th, 2017
Guess what! The new pd nim spared me! Not only that but I'm now 6with9's visual and wow~ noona attracter, too. Gotta work on my flirting now. Do I wink then grin or should I grin then wink? Not sure but I'll get the hang of it. It sure beats rapping. Man, was that hard...but I wonder who got my rapping part in kcid... oh! And another thing I forgot to mention what band I'm moving to (sorry, I'm so exhausted that it's kinda hard to concentrate). The name's 6with9 but I can't help thinking it's supposed to be 69 heh. Sorry, I guess I do have a ed mind. But can you blame me? 6 with 9? 69? But yeah! That'll be fun or should I say "fun"~
October 31st, 2017
Happy Halloween journal! Yep! Halloween was a great day~ and for more reasons than just a day to get free candy and dress up. Actually, it was a great day cause guess? Dun worry, I'll wait~ du du du du du du du~ you got it? Or should I sing more? Er I guess it's write more but you get the idea keke. I met my bandmates! in person! Well, two of them but Yep! I physically gotta touch em. Sadly, jisung-sshi had to go to lessons so I couldn't get his position in our group but I think it's fine~ I'm still sooo happy I got to meet my bandmates : D I learned more about youngjae-sshi at least. Apparently he's a vocal hyung. I can't wait to learn even more about them! Sometimes I wonder if I gave the right first impression. I don't know. My palms were sweaty and youngjae Hyung backed away when I was touching them. I'm worried but I hope everything's okay @_@
November 16th, 2017
It's been so long since I wrote a journal but the reason I haven't may surprise you. Or it may not...welp, things haven't changed. I didn't get to meet any of my other bandmates and unfortunately, I couldn't go eat lunch with jisung-sshi or youngjae hyung. I get it. My active timings and theirs are different and I guess that's the same with the other members but I just hope and pray things'll get better. Please God. Please let this not be another disappointment....
November 22nd, 2017
Something weird happened today. I don't get why but the PD nim texted me during practice. You wouldn't believe how nervous I was tho. I mean, he's the ing guy who controls if I live or die in this company! (Or one of them, I still don't know how it works...) Course I'd be nervous! In the end, he was pretty cool. I thanked him for putting me as a visual though I'm still not confident in that position myself and he complimented my picture I used of a filter of myself for the check. I guess he's a good guy but heh... I guess it's still engraved in me to worry when the PD nim decides to contact a trainee like me. Heh it just doesn't seem straightforward...there's gotta be something else... But anyways, the same day when I was lazying around (I finished everything early since it's thanksgiving break), I got another text from him and guess what? I got a gig! Yusss! You heard right, journal! I'm not gonna disappear like those other trainees! I'll survive here! The only thing is it's a photoshoot, not dancing. That means somehow I gotta look like some boy I guess but without doing nothing but posing. Aghhh! I'm nervous and excited! Junhong-sshi's supposed to be a famous photographer, too! But that's all gonna happen later. Sadly, with all my friends and bandmates gone for thanksgiving, tomorrow will be another thanksgiving by myself....ah, it's okay Hoseok. A lot of good things are already happening to you. But I can't help but miss everyone. Maybe I should've gone home and risked the homesickness... The path to success seems to be covered with sacrifices. I don't know if I'm ready to lose those people dear to me, though...
November 23rd, 2017
Thanksgiving was okay. I decided to make something more special than the food I normally eat (which is mostly just cereal, ramen, and fruits and veggies). Of course, sticking to my diet was important so I made a healthy meal. I was trying to make kimchi and beef but it came out bad; I almost threw up by the smell so I threw it in the trash and decided to just eat ramen again. Maybe when I go home, I'll ask my mom how she cooks so I'll be more prepared. Other than that, today was not that eventful. Before I started dinner, I got bored halfway through the day and decided to stroll out of those cramped quarters. Not a lot of people were outside so I just tried to appreciate the nature. It's been so long since I've done that. Ah, I miss everyone.... But it's okay, Hoseok. They're still in my heart...
November 25th, 2017
It's been about a week since I wrote in here but not much's changed. I've met people other than Taehyung, but still haven't gotten to talk to the really important people in my future, yet: my bandmates. But it'll be okay. They're probably just busy and never read my kkt, yet- you know, idol stuff. I mean, a lot of idols are like that, right? I am, too but I'd still make time to get to know my colleagues, you know? Anyways, practice and homework are getting hectic. It's tiresome but if I push through, I'll get my dream to come true. Omma, I love you and I miss you...a lot. Okay, enough. I got lessons to attend.
September 8th, 2017
I'm starting to worry again. Is this a sign? How come I've still not seen my bandmates' faces? I mean, I've been here for over a month now and I still haven't see them in the dorm. What else could I guess it could be? What if our group never makes it to debut? What if Cjamm pd-nim kicks some of us out? My heart is beating super hard. The tears are dripping down this page. I'm sorry I couldn't save you, journal. I'm really sorry.
September 12th, 2017
I was right. 4Kisses has officially disbanded. The good news is that I'm still in the company-just moved around, but after 4kisses, I can't help but feel I lost a part of myself. I don't know but I guess it was a really strong experience, coming to the empty dorm and all. I'm not that "Sunshine image" that can always see the bright side. I just hope a lot. So much that it hurts and I know I shouldn't keep hoping but still I naively do. So in this case, all I hope for is one of them to talk to me. That's it.
September 20th, 2017
Guess what! I met them! Well...not literally, but hey. At least two of my group members answered my kkt. So that's definitely improvement from 4kisses. I don't know, maybe things could get better! At least, I was noticed you know? That's a step in the right direction. The leader asked me to meet up, so I'm just really excited to get to know one of my colleagues. Of course, I played it cool in the texts though (you know, the whole "dont't act too desperate" thing). Now I'm just waiting for his text to confirm the date and time. Aghhh! I'm so excited!
September 21st, 2017
It's been a whole day since my text and he still hasn't replied. I'm really not the type to ask people again. If he forgot, he forgot. If he had other priorities to take care of, then I guess I wasn't important enough to actually be remembered. Even if I am one of his bandmates...I don't know. My social life's been okay but I came here for a good team, not a social life. I have plenty of high school friends who could fit that category. On the upside, another bandmate had posted in kkt, but as much as I want to meet him, I can't scare him off. I'll just play it safe and hopefully, one of us can bring up the subject of actually meeting. Hopefully.
September 25th, 2017
The days pass by and I'm growing worried again. The other bandmate Taehyun (I think) and I haven't actually progressed on that meeting up thing and I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever meet any of my bandmates. It's scary to think what happened with 4kisses might happen again. And this time I might actually be removed altogether from the only agency who decided to take me in. I'm not handsome like Taehyung, a good rapper like my colleagues nor as talented as Hansol so it's really possible. Actually, now that I think of it, I have no clue why they even gave me a chance. All I have is dancing, so why...?
October 3rd, 2017
Reading through my entries again, I realized that all I've been writing is bad news so! You'll be happy to hear, today will be something better! Hip hip hooray! I mean, my workload has increased and now that I've been assigned to rap in an actual rap oriented band group (there's ing 4 rappers including me! That's half the line!), I've had an even more stressful schedule. But my social life is getting better-at least. I know I said I don't care about it as much but it's still nice to escape the stresses of life with friendships, especially, since you can't call home all the time. Obviously, I still want my work relationships to grow, but for this time, I'll be okay with it. Anyways, I fell in love with dancing all over again. It started when I bumped into Taehyung, aka that weird kid (yeah, I still think he's weird even if we're friends). I was stressed a whole lot about how to work the vocal studio that instead, I decided to take a mental break and heard music from the dance room. It was Taehyung. That's the first time I saw the kid in the dance studio. I guess we both made the same schedule but instead of practicing our strengths, we were practicing our weaknesses now. Anyways, as a dancer Hyung, I gave him pointers on how to improve and even showed him how to express emotion in dancing. Five minutes in, though, I couldn't think about anything lesson-related but the beats pulsing under my feet. It was literally like floating on air except for the squeaks from my worn shoes. But that didn't matter. I was in love. In love with all of the imperfections in that cold studio. I realized afterwards that yeah, dancing is my life. Even if I might not make it in this agency, I'll find out how to make it altogether. I'd prefer to make it here still, though...
October 11th, 2017
You might not know this about me, but I'm an avid follower of allkpop- their CJAMM Ent section at least. Even between practices, I'll scan the articles and have a good laugh at all the weird couple names the writers come up with (Young Kwang really likes guy pairings, too so that's interesting...). I even laughed at the article about me meeting Taehyung. It really wasn't that big of a deal, but they made it out to be one. (Still, don't get why they got my group name wrong, but looking back, it definitely foreshadowed who my band group would be). The fans' are so funny, too. It makes me that much more eager to debut, so I would have stuff written about me, too. But that's not what I wanted to talk about. This week's article affirmed my fears. Kcid's leader might already be dating someone let alone, my friend Taehyung. Hell, I don't even have spare time unless I force myself to the point of exhaustion! That means that this guy had time to look at his phone and didn't. That means that I could've easily met someone from my band but couldn't. That today, just put into perspective how meaningless I might be to the band. IF the leader doesn't, the group doesn't value me either.
October 13th, 2017
Today was an exhausting day like usual but the fact that my past realization might be true made it even harder. I could barely get up to go to my lessons and even when I did, I felt like I didn't retain anything at all, only continuing to worry myself about the possibility of a removal. In that time, my thoughts even grew darker to wondering if I should just quit altogether. Luckily, after lessons was dance practice so I used that time to let my stress go. Another article came in today, clarifying leader and Taehyung's relationship. Maybe it made me feel better to hear the leader wasn't dating anyone but it was still sad to think that he still talked to the kid despite all his own sadness. I know, it might've just been a right time right place thing and leader might've not been expecting it, but can you blame me? I've been ignored countless times from my own bandmates, any feeling of understanding's slowly disappearing. Still, I'm sorry Leader's dealing with a one sided love. I've had my share, too. Part of the reason I pushed myself earlier in 4kisses was because I had to forget about my girlfriend. Of course, my story's different from his but one sided love's can really hurt. Even now, I'm still hesitant to have another relationship because of her.
October 22nd, 2017
Something really shocking happened today. CEO Cjamm, the one who's in charge of Cjamm Ent and the one who gave me a chance, left the company. Rumour has it he's been dealt with some hard personal stuff but I don't know the details. Like any company, though, just because the CEO leaves, doesn't mean the company shuts down. (That's only in bankruptcy...I think..?) so now we have a new CEO and manager. I'm on edge though. What If the new boss changes things? I mean, it was cjamm who saw something in me. The new boss could easily not and make it that much easier to let me go. Damn...sometimes I just wish I was born handsome so I could meet the basic criteria...
October 29th, 2017
Guess what! The new pd nim spared me! Not only that but I'm now 6with9's visual and wow~ noona attracter, too. Gotta work on my flirting now. Do I wink then grin or should I grin then wink? Not sure but I'll get the hang of it. It sure beats rapping. Man, was that hard...but I wonder who got my rapping part in kcid... oh! And another thing I forgot to mention what band I'm moving to (sorry, I'm so exhausted that it's kinda hard to concentrate). The name's 6with9 but I can't help thinking it's supposed to be 69 heh. Sorry, I guess I do have a ed mind. But can you blame me? 6 with 9? 69? But yeah! That'll be fun or should I say "fun"~
October 31st, 2017
Happy Halloween journal! Yep! Halloween was a great day~ and for more reasons than just a day to get free candy and dress up. Actually, it was a great day cause guess? Dun worry, I'll wait~ du du du du du du du~ you got it? Or should I sing more? Er I guess it's write more but you get the idea keke. I met my bandmates! in person! Well, two of them but Yep! I physically gotta touch em. Sadly, jisung-sshi had to go to lessons so I couldn't get his position in our group but I think it's fine~ I'm still sooo happy I got to meet my bandmates : D I learned more about youngjae-sshi at least. Apparently he's a vocal hyung. I can't wait to learn even more about them! Sometimes I wonder if I gave the right first impression. I don't know. My palms were sweaty and youngjae Hyung backed away when I was touching them. I'm worried but I hope everything's okay @_@
November 16th, 2017
It's been so long since I wrote a journal but the reason I haven't may surprise you. Or it may not...welp, things haven't changed. I didn't get to meet any of my other bandmates and unfortunately, I couldn't go eat lunch with jisung-sshi or youngjae hyung. I get it. My active timings and theirs are different and I guess that's the same with the other members but I just hope and pray things'll get better. Please God. Please let this not be another disappointment....
November 22nd, 2017
Something weird happened today. I don't get why but the PD nim texted me during practice. You wouldn't believe how nervous I was tho. I mean, he's the ing guy who controls if I live or die in this company! (Or one of them, I still don't know how it works...) Course I'd be nervous! In the end, he was pretty cool. I thanked him for putting me as a visual though I'm still not confident in that position myself and he complimented my picture I used of a filter of myself for the check. I guess he's a good guy but heh... I guess it's still engraved in me to worry when the PD nim decides to contact a trainee like me. Heh it just doesn't seem straightforward...there's gotta be something else... But anyways, the same day when I was lazying around (I finished everything early since it's thanksgiving break), I got another text from him and guess what? I got a gig! Yusss! You heard right, journal! I'm not gonna disappear like those other trainees! I'll survive here! The only thing is it's a photoshoot, not dancing. That means somehow I gotta look like some boy I guess but without doing nothing but posing. Aghhh! I'm nervous and excited! Junhong-sshi's supposed to be a famous photographer, too! But that's all gonna happen later. Sadly, with all my friends and bandmates gone for thanksgiving, tomorrow will be another thanksgiving by myself....ah, it's okay Hoseok. A lot of good things are already happening to you. But I can't help but miss everyone. Maybe I should've gone home and risked the homesickness... The path to success seems to be covered with sacrifices. I don't know if I'm ready to lose those people dear to me, though...
November 23rd, 2017
Thanksgiving was okay. I decided to make something more special than the food I normally eat (which is mostly just cereal, ramen, and fruits and veggies). Of course, sticking to my diet was important so I made a healthy meal. I was trying to make kimchi and beef but it came out bad; I almost threw up by the smell so I threw it in the trash and decided to just eat ramen again. Maybe when I go home, I'll ask my mom how she cooks so I'll be more prepared. Other than that, today was not that eventful. Before I started dinner, I got bored halfway through the day and decided to stroll out of those cramped quarters. Not a lot of people were outside so I just tried to appreciate the nature. It's been so long since I've done that. Ah, I miss everyone.... But it's okay, Hoseok. They're still in my heart...
November 25th, 2017
After lazying off on thanksgiving all alone, I had to start studying for today. Because guess what? My photo shoot gig was today! : D so you can probably understand how nervous I was and how quickly I tried to understand the concept for it. Oh! Did I tell you it was a Lolita concept? Yeah! Except it’s Lolita for boys so sadly, I couldn’t find so much to use. Welp! In the end, I tried my best and I think it worked out? I mean, I did learn something about myself which I'm still embarassed to admit in this journal, but yeah! It ran pretty smooth! Well...heh, actually... first I was uncomfortable with the Choi junhong-sshi cause he didn’t talk that much an jus kinda expected you to get it like in a snap. But I guess that made sense since he’s so famous he normally works with famous peeps. The more I was there though the more I felt his...silent charisma? (Is there such thing?) and yeah! I realized jus like me with dancing, he knew what the he was doing~ ahh~ he’s earned my respect. Definitely would recommend him to any of my trainee friends though I’d warn them about his cold exterior and the fact he won’t talk to you more than his professional scope. Idk if you could be friends with a guy like that but...yeah! I guess friends and work don’t go together huh? Ahh heh I don’t why that got me a bit...depressed heh...look at me, heh. Things are going so good in my career but I’m greedy and wanting a long-lasting friendship too...I miss tae. I hope he comes back. No no no! It’ll get better after thanksgiving break! Stop being like that! It’ll get better...I hope...
December 15th, 2017
Sorry journal! I got so busy, met a lot of people then got even more busier because guess what....Evaluations...yeah...Not fun but! It's finished and somehow I passed them (that or they're not as strict as I thought they were. Makes sense since why else could I get into here, you know?) But another....guess what? I finally had the nerve to text Youngjae Hyung if we could practice and maybe even eat lunch together. Ahh! I'm so excited and happy~ I can't wait to really be a team with him! I consider him my friend, too~ The downside is Taehyung still hasn't responded to my text hoping he's okay. I hope he's fine or at least, not purposely ignoring me... (Did I lose a friend and gain someone else? What kind of irony... ) I don't get it...they both are important to me, so all I hope is the kid isn't avoiding me or anything like that. Well, if he leaves, at least I saw it coming. But that's just my doubts; I know the guy's pretty busy with finals and probably even could be going home for winter break, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt until this month's done...Now it's Christmas shopping time!!! \@_@/
December 22nd, 2017
Guess what journal?! I'm exhausted! But you'll be surprised to know why. Go on, I'll give you time (especially since I'm so exhausted to write too much real words) we got two new bandmates! And a lot of new trainees! Guess winter's the time to accept more peeps this time. But I'm excited though also weary (I'm not gonna make the mistake I made last time). This time I won't have too high hopes in everyone else talking to me-tho why I keep hoping beats me. Also! Christmas's coming up! I'm not the richest trainee in the place but! I worked hard before so I'm hoping I can give good gifts-even if they're not as expensive as they should be.
December 25th, 2017
Merry Christmas journal! Again, I probably should’ve gone home like all my other band mates but it’s okay. I’ll make do and enjoy the time by myself...while not lazying off on practice of course. I’m happy with the gifts I sent anyways though why do I feel empty. I guess Christmas is still meant to be celebrated with friends and family huh...the life of an idol is lonely...anyways, merry Christmas hoseok-ah. You’re doing good...
January 1st, 2018
Pops confetti and champagne. Happy New Years! Here I am laying pretty much sick in my bed with pizza delivery and some sprite~ (don’t worry, it’s not chilled since that’d make me even colder in this cold dorm) but yeah! I guess I should watch something huh...I dunno tho...the more I look at the black screen, the more I think about life and what 2018 has in store for me. Hopefully some real friends to support me and I support them. Anyways, this has been a short entry by Jung hoseok of 2017. Good bye~ imma go out, get drunk and see if I can’t flirt a little or something-that’s if I don’t pass out before heh.
January 15th, 2018
Work it harder. Do it faster. Stronger. Power never over. That’s how it goes right? You know the song I’m talking about right? That Kanye daft punk collab one! Yeah! That’s how I feel right now~ I lost my friend but this isn’t the end! I’ll be faster! Stronger! And most importantly, never over! We got dis hoseok-ah! We got dis! We got dis...
December 15th, 2017
Sorry journal! I got so busy, met a lot of people then got even more busier because guess what....Evaluations...yeah...Not fun but! It's finished and somehow I passed them (that or they're not as strict as I thought they were. Makes sense since why else could I get into here, you know?) But another....guess what? I finally had the nerve to text Youngjae Hyung if we could practice and maybe even eat lunch together. Ahh! I'm so excited and happy~ I can't wait to really be a team with him! I consider him my friend, too~ The downside is Taehyung still hasn't responded to my text hoping he's okay. I hope he's fine or at least, not purposely ignoring me... (Did I lose a friend and gain someone else? What kind of irony... ) I don't get it...they both are important to me, so all I hope is the kid isn't avoiding me or anything like that. Well, if he leaves, at least I saw it coming. But that's just my doubts; I know the guy's pretty busy with finals and probably even could be going home for winter break, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt until this month's done...Now it's Christmas shopping time!!! \@_@/
December 22nd, 2017
Guess what journal?! I'm exhausted! But you'll be surprised to know why. Go on, I'll give you time (especially since I'm so exhausted to write too much real words) we got two new bandmates! And a lot of new trainees! Guess winter's the time to accept more peeps this time. But I'm excited though also weary (I'm not gonna make the mistake I made last time). This time I won't have too high hopes in everyone else talking to me-tho why I keep hoping beats me. Also! Christmas's coming up! I'm not the richest trainee in the place but! I worked hard before so I'm hoping I can give good gifts-even if they're not as expensive as they should be.
December 25th, 2017
Merry Christmas journal! Again, I probably should’ve gone home like all my other band mates but it’s okay. I’ll make do and enjoy the time by myself...while not lazying off on practice of course. I’m happy with the gifts I sent anyways though why do I feel empty. I guess Christmas is still meant to be celebrated with friends and family huh...the life of an idol is lonely...anyways, merry Christmas hoseok-ah. You’re doing good...
January 1st, 2018
Pops confetti and champagne. Happy New Years! Here I am laying pretty much sick in my bed with pizza delivery and some sprite~ (don’t worry, it’s not chilled since that’d make me even colder in this cold dorm) but yeah! I guess I should watch something huh...I dunno tho...the more I look at the black screen, the more I think about life and what 2018 has in store for me. Hopefully some real friends to support me and I support them. Anyways, this has been a short entry by Jung hoseok of 2017. Good bye~ imma go out, get drunk and see if I can’t flirt a little or something-that’s if I don’t pass out before heh.
January 15th, 2018
Work it harder. Do it faster. Stronger. Power never over. That’s how it goes right? You know the song I’m talking about right? That Kanye daft punk collab one! Yeah! That’s how I feel right now~ I lost my friend but this isn’t the end! I’ll be faster! Stronger! And most importantly, never over! We got dis hoseok-ah! We got dis! We got dis...
May 20th, 2018
Hi journal, yeah I know. It's been a long time since my last one. It's just cause everytime I thought of writing in this, something would come up and yeah! Just continuously busy me all day. Now it's summer though, so I don't have to worry about college classes too much. At least, not yet anyways... Anyways! That's not why I decided to write in it now! You probably guessed it but my last band and I started the disbanding process. You know, the point when no one talks to each other and slowly we drift apart? Yeah! That part! Don't get me wrong, every week I'd post in the kakao chat, so I was doing my part! Also you won't believe this but Cjamm pdnim came back! Yeah! It's a miracle! Especially since Cjamm Ent was started to lose the Kpop industry, it was very good! I even thought this was the end for me. I had to go crawling back to my father and never dream again- that kinda thought process. I think that's probably the other reason I didn't get to write in this journal even after college classes were done for this semester. Probably just felt too sad and depressed. So yeah, I'm happy luck God and luck are on my side now! : D Apparently when Cjamm came back, he had some extra plans to this place. They're gonna be adding a movie industry section too! How cool is that?! I don't know, I just feel so excited but also weary that it'll all be taken away. That's what happened before you know. I'd feel excited to meet my group or feel excited to have some kinda progress in my life only to see it just disappear in front of me. That's why I don't wanna get my hopes up too much just yet...So yeah! Also, weirdly the pdnim approaches the idols and welcomes them. That was new to me. But yeah, I renewed my contract, so I guess Cjamm nim still sees my potential. I hope I can do good whether I get put into a group or go solo for both the company but for myself, too! Wish me luck, journal!
May 21st, 2018
Today so much happened. I didn't think anyone was here even when Cjamm pd nim was the first time, but there definitely were some. I met one! His name's Baekhyun and he's really good at singing, but also songwriting. It's been so long since I've talked to a person, so it was so refreshing! He seems pretty cool, too. Of course, we couldn't really talk long since I needed to practice, but it was nice to talk to some instead of sitting alone at lunch~ I don't get why I never met him before though but oh well! I felt energized even in the early morning during my practice, and that's what matters! But that's not even the biggest thing that happened today! I also got assigned to a band! I know what you're thinking. Already?! I thought that too! I mean, I only renewed my contract last night, so who knows how fast Cjamm pd nim assigned me to a group! I didn't check my messages until after showering, afterall. But yeah! It was so sudden. The whole night I had to start packing, so eventually when I got to my dorm it was pretty late. Anyways, I'm here now. I hope tommorrow will be just as great! : D Oh yeah, before I go to sleep. I also bumped into Tae, too. I could never stay mad at the kid, but man...sometimes I think that kid still doesn't get how easy he had it. I could've stayed stubborn. Call him lucky. Anyways, we're friends but even if I'm planning to still be his friend, I'm not letting my guard down around him...
May 22nd, 2018
Hey journal! I met the leader and maknae today! Their names are Park Minkhyun and Park Jisung. Minkhyun-ah's the leader and Jisunggie's the maknae. They both are younger than me heh. But it was fun. Jisunggie's the type to joke around and roleplay your favorite kinda drama or some silly childplay. I thought I was too old for it, but I enjoyed it a ton~ Minkhyun's more of this stressed out and busy leader. I told the guy that even if he's the leader, we all still can pitch in. I hope he believes in us. Either way, they are so cool and I can't wait until we debut with them! Sinep fightin! Oh, and after I met them I followed them around for a while before I had to do my individual lessons~
June 2nd, 2018
Hey journal, you probably already know but the summer event happened today. Was kinda busy but guess a lot of peeps were practicing or something. Makes sense in a way. We are idols, after all~ it’s one thing to make some kinda social networking event but it’s another thing to do an actual party for us idols. Sorry, guess I’m still sorry the CEO came back and tried to do so much for us busy idols. I really appreciate it but again, there’s probs a reason why it didn’t work out as good as it could’ve... Anyways! Even if there weren’t a lot of peeps, I still tried to talk to the guys I saw. Oh! I even bumped into Tae again! It’s cool, it almost felt like we could talk again. Ah...I just remembered. I forgot to mention that someone rolled me in the kissing booth. Guess what, it was the ceo too; yeah! Cjamm himself! But you probably wanna know what I thought of the kiss. Welp! I only vowed to do cheek kisses since you know, I’m not gay and all but... It was weird. I didn’t love it but I didn’t hate it either. I really thought I would but I didn’t. Not gonna lie, that kinda realization freaked me out heh. Maybe because if I kissed a guy on the lips I’d feel disgusted? Yeah...! That makes sense~ for a second there, I panicked. I thought I might like guys lol. Gives me the heebie jeebies thinking about it. And my dad wouldn’t ever approve so hell nah @_@ man, am I glad I don’t ha!
July 15, 2018
It's been a while since I wrote in here and I know, I know I always say it but it's true. It's harder to write in here when things aren't going so well but you also don't want to think about it too much or you'll get worse. But yeah! Leader and maknae left sadly and I didn't tell you already but one of the guys I met at the pool party (His name's Haechan) and Baekhyun Hyung are part of Sinep now and they too might leave soon. All the other members don't really talk to us, so it's kinda irrelevant if they left or not. Also Taehyung's again not talking. I told myself I was expecting something like that, but it still doesn't change the fact I hoped I would have a friend by my side during all this. I just...sighs wish things would work out. But I don't know...maybe I'm giving up too soon? Okay! I'll call Haechan, Baekhyun Hyung and Taehyung and if they don't answer I'mma guess they're leaving for good, too!
May 21st, 2018
Today so much happened. I didn't think anyone was here even when Cjamm pd nim was the first time, but there definitely were some. I met one! His name's Baekhyun and he's really good at singing, but also songwriting. It's been so long since I've talked to a person, so it was so refreshing! He seems pretty cool, too. Of course, we couldn't really talk long since I needed to practice, but it was nice to talk to some instead of sitting alone at lunch~ I don't get why I never met him before though but oh well! I felt energized even in the early morning during my practice, and that's what matters! But that's not even the biggest thing that happened today! I also got assigned to a band! I know what you're thinking. Already?! I thought that too! I mean, I only renewed my contract last night, so who knows how fast Cjamm pd nim assigned me to a group! I didn't check my messages until after showering, afterall. But yeah! It was so sudden. The whole night I had to start packing, so eventually when I got to my dorm it was pretty late. Anyways, I'm here now. I hope tommorrow will be just as great! : D Oh yeah, before I go to sleep. I also bumped into Tae, too. I could never stay mad at the kid, but man...sometimes I think that kid still doesn't get how easy he had it. I could've stayed stubborn. Call him lucky. Anyways, we're friends but even if I'm planning to still be his friend, I'm not letting my guard down around him...
May 22nd, 2018
Hey journal! I met the leader and maknae today! Their names are Park Minkhyun and Park Jisung. Minkhyun-ah's the leader and Jisunggie's the maknae. They both are younger than me heh. But it was fun. Jisunggie's the type to joke around and roleplay your favorite kinda drama or some silly childplay. I thought I was too old for it, but I enjoyed it a ton~ Minkhyun's more of this stressed out and busy leader. I told the guy that even if he's the leader, we all still can pitch in. I hope he believes in us. Either way, they are so cool and I can't wait until we debut with them! Sinep fightin! Oh, and after I met them I followed them around for a while before I had to do my individual lessons~
June 2nd, 2018
Hey journal, you probably already know but the summer event happened today. Was kinda busy but guess a lot of peeps were practicing or something. Makes sense in a way. We are idols, after all~ it’s one thing to make some kinda social networking event but it’s another thing to do an actual party for us idols. Sorry, guess I’m still sorry the CEO came back and tried to do so much for us busy idols. I really appreciate it but again, there’s probs a reason why it didn’t work out as good as it could’ve... Anyways! Even if there weren’t a lot of peeps, I still tried to talk to the guys I saw. Oh! I even bumped into Tae again! It’s cool, it almost felt like we could talk again. Ah...I just remembered. I forgot to mention that someone rolled me in the kissing booth. Guess what, it was the ceo too; yeah! Cjamm himself! But you probably wanna know what I thought of the kiss. Welp! I only vowed to do cheek kisses since you know, I’m not gay and all but... It was weird. I didn’t love it but I didn’t hate it either. I really thought I would but I didn’t. Not gonna lie, that kinda realization freaked me out heh. Maybe because if I kissed a guy on the lips I’d feel disgusted? Yeah...! That makes sense~ for a second there, I panicked. I thought I might like guys lol. Gives me the heebie jeebies thinking about it. And my dad wouldn’t ever approve so hell nah @_@ man, am I glad I don’t ha!
July 15, 2018
It's been a while since I wrote in here and I know, I know I always say it but it's true. It's harder to write in here when things aren't going so well but you also don't want to think about it too much or you'll get worse. But yeah! Leader and maknae left sadly and I didn't tell you already but one of the guys I met at the pool party (His name's Haechan) and Baekhyun Hyung are part of Sinep now and they too might leave soon. All the other members don't really talk to us, so it's kinda irrelevant if they left or not. Also Taehyung's again not talking. I told myself I was expecting something like that, but it still doesn't change the fact I hoped I would have a friend by my side during all this. I just...sighs wish things would work out. But I don't know...maybe I'm giving up too soon? Okay! I'll call Haechan, Baekhyun Hyung and Taehyung and if they don't answer I'mma guess they're leaving for good, too!
Jung Hoseok
Gwangju Dancer
Contact info:
CJAMM Ent.
Mood:
second chance
Single,
Focused on career
Hoseok
