ahem...so,i was initially going to do something big for our one month. i typically do because, even though it's only a month, it's an important milestone for me when it comes to relationships. nut with me being swamped with school work, i didn't have the energy nor creativity to do something big. maybe, if we reach half a year (i hope we do), i'll do something big. Or maybe i'll surprise you with something later. anyway! hi. it's our one month and it honestly doesn't feel like it's only been a month. it feels like it's been so long, but at the same time, it feels like it hasn't been long enough. when i initially started talking to you, i had no idea we would end up where we are now. i don't really remember what got us talking in the first place, all i remember is that i bullied you and i thought your reactions to things were cute. i wasn't going to say this because during the time i met you, i was already talking to someone-- but we technically never got together, so i guess admitting this now is okay (it's not anything bad, anyway). i thought you were pretty adorable when we first me, and if i hadn't been talking to someone at the time, i would have definitely flirted with you. we were in another place after that (and again, i was still going after that person) but i remember being a little sad when i noticed you had left the place. since the beginning, you were a joy to have around. that's why when i found you again, and i wasn't "tied" to anyone, i just had to approach you. honestly...i thought you were going to reject me. i was afraid of hitting on you, only to make you feel uncomfortable and not want to talk to me anymore. it felt as though you were out of my league, but i didn't want to miss the chance of getting close with you because i knew if i didn't approach you first, someone else would have. after all, you are the most radiant girl in existence, both inside and out. i'm not glad that i took thar chance. since then, i have found myself longing to see you every morning and not wanting to sleep every night because i'd miss you. i have found myself wanting to give you everything your heart desires. i want to make you as happy as i possibly can. there's..a lot of things you don't know about me. there's a dark past that i'm constantly trying to keep hidden and there's so many insecurities that swarm within me that i try to keep at bay. i'm afraid to let those parts of me become known because that's typically when people start to disappear. the last person i was this close to...vanished (like the avatar). so, in all honesty, our relationship also kind of scares me. it scares me to be open with you. it scares me to have so many pairings in so many places because they're like vulnerabilities to me. things that could disappear if, for some reason, we don't work. attachments scare me. but...even though this is all frightening...i wouldn't change any of it. because i love every second of it. i love the sense of security that you bring me. i love all the happiness that you've brought me over the past month. i love your tsunning nature, your sulkiness, your flustered state. i love holding you in my arms and the way you fit so perfectly against me. i love every kiss that you give me and constantly feel as though i haven't had enough. i love the..."adult" moments that we have together and how a simple touch from you is enough to have me craving more. you have me practically wrapped around your finger and god, i love it. i don't even know if anything i'm saying makese sense anymore, heh. i guess, what i'm trying to say is...i love you so very much, chong tingyan. i can't promise we'll have a perfect relationship, i don't know what the future holds. but i can promise to cherish you like the princess that you are. i promise to love you even in your darkest times. i promise to hold you, even if we just had a fight. and i promise to do my upmost best at bringing a smile to your face. i'm stupidly in love with you, seulgi. happy one month and i hope we have many more in the future.

 

"I love the piece of earth you are because in all the planetary prairies I do not have another star. You repeat the multiplication of the universe. Your wide eyes are the light I have of the vanquished constellations, your skin pulses like the roads the meteor follows in the rain. Of so much moon were your hips to me, of all the sun your deep mouth and its delight, of so much burning light like honey in the shade your heart burnt by long red rays and this is how I follow your fire-- kissing you small and planetary, dove and geography."

"Before loving you, love, nothing was mine: I hesitated through streets and things: nothing mattered or had a name: the world was of the air that I awaited. I knew ashen halls, tunnels inhabited by the moon, cruel hangars that bid farewell, questions that insisted in the sand. Everything was empty, dead, mute, fallen, abandoned, and decrepit, everything was an inalienable other, everything was of others and of no one, until your beauty and your poverty filled the autumn with gifts."