⇣

full name

— seo youngho

nickname(s)

— john, johnny

age

— 24 years

date of birth

— 1995, february 9

occupation

— mental health counselor

orientation

— panual

relationship status

— unclaimed

current partner

— none

ex-partner(s)

— tba

siblings

— tba

allies

— jung jinsoul

enemies

— tba

writing style

— semi–para to novella

pov preference

— detailed 1st or 3rd

timezone

— gmt–8 / pst

SEMPER IN SANGUINEM ;

第一章 / always in the blood . . .

there are so many things taken for granted by humanity. people just don't realize what they have until it's gone. for some it might be lovers long passed or time that ticked by all too soon. for seo youngho, it is the very essence of life itself that he learned to value only after having it stripped away from cold bare hands.

one fateful november evening in 1995 laid out a long skeletal pathway that spiraled deep down to the pits of madness of which were destined for youngho, eagerly awaiting to greet him with insalubrious pain. that night felt like any other; calm, cool, the only sound being that of the wind's midnight howls. gorgeous silky tendrils billowed amidst the fresh ocean breeze as an unnamed woman sat with her nine month old son on a prismatic pink sandy beach without a single care in the world. the boy's father abandoned them both right at that very spot just mere days before being brought into existence. the pair were all alone with only each other to love unconditionally. there his mother sat cuddled with him close to her heart beside flickering campfire flames for warmth, gentle tunes escaping past lush lips that lulled him into serene slumber. they had each other and a vast sea of possibilities to explore right in front of them. nothing could go wrong.

❝ I'm not seeking penance for what I've done. ❞

she cried silently to the full moon, tears welling, eyes glazed over until her vision rapidly deteriorated that the moonshine was nothing but blurred flashes and sparkles dancing across the ink black sky. something had washed over her soul like the crashing waves ahead, engulfing her with agonizing fear. how could she do this alone? raise a child from the only man who ever made her believe she was worth a dime then crushed every hope and dream for a better life. nine months she carried her baby within, nine more she endured for the sake of that boy. far too long. she fooled herself to believing once again that it would all work out in the end, that starving her innocent baby and working the streets every night with some repulsive john would somehow lead the way to something better. what a reckless fool she'd been.

❝ I'm asking forgiveness for what I'm about to do . . . ❞

left once again. his guardian angel sent from the heavens, the one and only mother he would ever have, his true love vanished into those waves which grew mightier upon each cruel slap against soft beach grains never to be seen again. no body ever surfaced. forever the woman would be a mysterious siren of the deep, her melodic lullaby haunting the child that was left in the dark with minuscule sparks and the burning stars above as his only company. it was there youngho had been reborn a reverse phoenix withering in the dead grey ashes of lost dreams rather than rising up above them.


DEPICTOS IN CARNE ;

第二章 / carved in the flesh . . .

an absolute darling little cherubic child was quickly adopted into a new family and entirely foreign way of life after having been found lying wrapped in a blanket on the beach, helplessly shrieking for his beloved mother who he did not yet realize would never come. having previously been at the center of struggle and sin, now he was sheltered and coddled by a well–off couple who drenched him in all the care their possibly could muster. or so it seemed. as the years ticked on by did that happily ever after depiction mold into yet another adumbral void masked beneath a thick veil of perfection.

the seo family drowned in gambling debts racked up over vastly more than a decade long, having no other choice but to battle with constant hardship. hungry mouths, unpaid bills, eviction notices, balancing minimum wage jobs, threats upon mr.seo's life by rather irascible loan sharks. amounting stress. no relief. mr. seo being the one who caused his cherished wife and children so much pain was encumbered with guilt and the insatiable craving to mend what broken pieces were left of them. thus an utterly rotten, unthinkable solution was put into place; in exchange for enough cash to cover his debts, a life was sold into slavery. seo youngho at the ripening age of nine years old was once more deserted from those who were trusted and beloved. what awful luck.

gone were the days of gleeful innocence and ignorant bliss. immediately upon his transfer into the criminal underworld was he put to use, trained to work as a drug mule and assist in the drug smuggling/trafficking trade. he was whipped into the perfect distraction, a secret tool for getting drugs across endless cities and borders. after all, who would suspect such an adorable angelic boy? his smile gleaming bright, cheeks flushed forever in vibrant plumes of rose. it was all an act. a wicked front to convince the whole damn world– perhaps even himself– that everything was okay. that things had not crumbled into nothingness as he ventured onwards down that winding stairwell path creeping upon madness.

it was just the beginning.


OSCULUM EST MORTIS ;

第三章 / a kiss of death . . .

hands of a clock spun round and round and round counting the days, weeks, months, years. time had changed the once seraphic young boy into something desirable. albeit having been oh so loyal, following every single rule his captors implemented with an iron fist, he was still punished. used and abused like the expendable tool that he'd become. 15 years old and now working the streets, forced to sell his body as well as the same noxious narcotics youngho spent an entire childhood surrounded by. how awfully exasperating it was to watch as others played games, went on dates, struggled with their studies, prospering in their average lives while he stay chained on the inside looking out from an invisible window in his mind. there had to be some way . . . an escape.

TW: Brief mention of violence.

that's when he met him. a regular client who showed youngho kindness, caring, and gentle touches— something so simple yet desperately yearned for. the strange man won over affections with ease, always charming and promising the boy shelter. one day he finally caved in. after a brutal disagreement over payments with his pimp that earned a fresh scar running right across his cheekbone, youngho was fed up. filled to the brim with anguish. then he turned to the only person he felt he could trust. as promised did the man offer refuge; with a price, of course. but anything could have been better than the powerless defeat he experienced every day amidst littered cement and rusted buildings. stupid, stupid boy. to have the audacity. to believe it could be better.

living with that man was hardly the fairytale ending he'd dreamt about. the once loving nature turned sour with haste. he was controlling, manipulative, forcing the poor soul to another form of slavery. as if being battered for a lifetime wasn't nearly enough hurt. so for months he played fair, being a perfect pet while secretly exploring the premises which he'd been restricted to and learning all of the man's routines. eventually he found another means of liberation; sneaking in the dead of the night from the back gate and running through the woods. except he was oblivious to the woodlands area and foolishly got lost in the sea of redwood trees. soon enough he was caught up with. there would be hell to pay.

TW: Description of assault. Violence. Blood.

youngho was given a surprise greeting by the deep lunge of a sharpened blade. in spite of a hectic struggle, fighting his attacker with all sorts of untapped power, there was no chance of survival. then lethally injured and striken with pure shock as he caught a glance of the other's face under dim moonlight. to think he'd be betrayed by the one person he ever cared for. it petrified the boy into a chillingly frozen state. not a single pleading cry for help nor bloodcurdling groan could save him as he was pinned and gutted like a fish across the abdomen. nothing after that moment would ever ruin him again. finally he had reached his peak and laid there like a lifeless doll taking whatever ultraviolence seeped into his core. long after the assailant fled the scene, panicked at the thought he'd destroyed the boy into a corpse, youngho stayed down and bled out all over the soiled grass. wallowing in red hot destruction.


EXITIUM EMUNDARI ;

第四章 / destruction of purity . . .

no matter how hard he'd been beaten or prayed to he who art in heaven for the sweet release of death, it would not come. there were other fates just itching to take the reigns and veer him off the rails. having lost any shred of dignity and buckets of blood did hunters find him unconscious yet still grasping on every haggard breath. rushed to a nearby hospital in the town of jangseung, he would (un)fortunately survive to see another hateful day.

still a minor by law, youngho stayed under the hospice of jangseung's local orphanage until the very day he became a legal adult. surprisingly the experience was contrasting to those past; he was able to receive decent education and soon was comfortable to the point of even calling the town his home. excelling in academics led to a full ride scholarship for university not far from town. there he studied psychology, behavioral science, and counseling. at age 23 he graduated with a master's degree then soon returned home to begin his work.

now only a year later seo youngho is best known for being the perfect neighbor rather than a broken boy found alone in the woods. his office doors remain open for welcoming all who may be struggling and in need of help. although everyone else has forgotten his troubled past, those traumas thrive within the confines of a sick mind that has become incredulous, greedy, twisted, in need of control at all times. don't let the warm-hearted semblance of a near flawless individual fool you. for he is wretched as ever and harbors a yearning for vengeance in his blackened heart. only time will tell how much further he can fall.

❝ What an awfully good day it is to be with you . . . The sort I could just kill for. ❞

Positive traits Passionate, meticulous, dedicated, curious, sociable, humorous, protective, intuitive, patient, perfectionist.

Negative traits Stubborn, blunt, untrusting, impulsive, daredevil, envious, resentful, sadomasochistic, secretive, dishonest.

Personality seo youngho, the seductive demon who warps both dreams and reality in search of something more than this existence. he is a twisted sinner, reveling in the red hot passions of all that is deemed wrong. however he does have a certain moral compass which either leads him spiraling towards crossing lines he could never come back from or forth towards a more righteous path than what he was destined for. he knows no black and white, has no clearly defined sense of right or wrong. life is full of thin blurry lines that he often enjoys pushing the boundaries of, twisting and curling them out of shape into something sinister. that carnal dark side is one very few have been graced to witness and shines blindingly bright whenever he so chooses to let it slip out.

the internal demon is typically veiled by a sweet façade of what could only be described as an absolutely perfect individual. an amicable neighbor, charitable and generous as much as can be, always putting the interests of others before his own. simply a pillar of society and ideal gem to any community. he typically charms with ease, making companions wherever he goes. don't let such an act fool you, for this is not the real seo youngho. this is only what greets you at the very surface of the man. be weary for subtle moments in which his true nature might creep out eerily so, giving you a taste of what vile wickedness is chained inside, only hidden by his own will to do so.

despite such amicable ways in public, he often opts to spend quality time alone dwelling beneath the burning stars and ink black skies of the night. being someone who is rather unkeen to trust others, the concept of commitment can be difficult to grasp. he may someday learn and indeed choose to settle down on an exclusive level with someone if he felt they were the perfect puzzle piece to fit with that of his jagged and broken one.

due to the dysfunctional relationships he experienced with his family and past companions, youngho suffers from several emotional and psychological issues. mainly the disinclination to trust others and a paralyzing fear of the ocean. at times his true personality can be vastly contrasting with melodramatic mood swings or reckless impulsive behaviors. albeit eagerly honest in regards to some topics, the male tends to be reserved about his private life or innermost feelings; "tsundere" as some might call him. although as a licensed mental health counselor he is fully aware of his own problems and has ideas to how he might be able to heal, inner feelings of hatred and vengeance are all too powerful and continuously threaten his potential for bettering himself. only time will tell if he can succeed.

Likes vodka, stargazing, autumn and winter, documentaries, retro and noir films, horror, true crime cases, shades of green or black, pinstripes, exploring, adrenaline rushes, doodling and sketching, alternative music, flowers, succulents, jung jinsoul.

Dislikes authority figures, police, sunny or heated weather, mornings, social media, being undermined or threatened by others.

Hobbies drawing, painting, street photography, making amateur films.

Vices drinking, despairing, smoking, envy, gluttony, hedonism.

Aromas vodka, tobacco smoke, vanilla, spice, burnt wood.

Criminal record petty theft, assault & battery, breaking & entering, bribery, extortion, ion, public intoxication, vandalism, reckless driving, drug possession, smuggling, joyriding, grand theft auto, counterfeit id cards.

The Quirks Fun Facts About Them.
— can escape from handcuffs, chains, and other restraints.
— has a munchkin american curl cat named minako.
— often volunteers at animal shelters.
— has a soft spot for animals and young children.
— is estranged from his family.
— stole his father’s old vhs camera and uses it to make amateur films.
— has many secrets from his past which he keeps bottled up inside, fearful to tell anyone about them.
— deathly afraid of the ocean.
— once was known as “daredevil” for his reckless and crazy behaviors.
— usually prefers to walk, but sometimes likes to cruise at night in his glossy black 1969 ford mustang.
— habitually chews bubble gum, runs his fingers through his hair, and his lips.
— sometimes takes on strange sidejobs for extra cashflow.
— battles with chronic depression and severe insomnia.
— constantly has dark circles and eyebags due to major sleep deprivation/over exhaustion.
— has three tattoos; a raven across his left flask, a killjoy spider on his right forearm, and a rose on his back just between his shoulder blades.
— has few scars scattered about his body; one running diagonally across his lower flask and down to the left hip just beneath his raven tattoo and a rather tiny scar across his right cheekbone. both from knife injuries.

lover name.

date: here.

status: here.

forever alone.

ONE I RP on rooms or pm only, not on walls. Please do not post on my wall as I prefer to have it as clean as possible and to keep the roleplay active by using rooms. You may PM me to plot or for ooc conversations.

TWO I have no particular POV preference. I will do either detailed 1st or 3rd. I only do one or two liners when in chats or games of course. I love plotting just as much as I love winging tbh, so if you ever want to RP yet have no detailed plot idea, let me know. I am okay with receiving random starters just be sure to ask/inform! If you feel bored of a thread, want to change or spice things up, start a new thread, etc. then please do not hesitate to tell me.

THREE My writing style ranges from semi–para to novella (excluding the usual short one or two liners in chats). Reply lengths all depend on my muse, motivation, the length of reply you give, etc. Usually I do my best to mirror replies, although my mirroring may not be perfect.

FOUR My timezone is GMT–8 / PST (Pacific Standard Time). I live in Los Angeles, California. USA. Often I am awake at strange hours due to severe insomnia and other ooc factors, so do not be surprised if you see me online throughout the evening. Also as I am strictly on mobile and do not always log out of rpr, please do not always trust the online symbol. I may have fallen asleep or got busy so I am away from rpr despite it stating I am online.

FIVE I am of legal age OOC and will accept mature plots/themes including . All mature stuff will be kept to rated rooms and pm. Please note that although I am fine with , I dislike rping anything ual without plot or some sort of character relationship/connection. Random really does not entertain me and does nothing to help further my character’s development.

SIX Please do not feel rushed or pressured to make replies. We all have lives OOC and get busy or lack muse/motivation. Take all the time you need because I am patient and understand. Personally i can be a slow replier, most especially with very detailed or 3rd POV threads, so I hope that you too will be patient with me. Feel free to poke or remind me just as long as you don’t go crazy spamming or pressuring me. Thank you.

SEVEN Come talk to me OOC, I’m an open book. Communication is very important and I love to make friends.

**pm to discuss scenarios/plots !!

guilty pleasures.

jung jinsoul. canon.

reply owed at the graveyard.

catch me if you can.

jung yein. non-canon.

currently plotting.

coquettish asphyxia.

kim hyunjin. non-canon.

replied to the bookstore.

damned if you do, damned if you don't.

dohyun. non-canon.

currently plotting.