kim yongguk

biual

university student + vocal instructor

born in jilin, kim yongguk was always a normal, average boy. he played the same, spoke about the same, looked similar to all of the other locals. his family life too, was just average. his parents were working class, who only saw him for a few hours each day but were somewhat kind during those times. so really, yongguk spent his younger years contempt-- until he had entered school. yongguk was introverted and silent, the type of boy to just blend into the back of the classroom. that just came naturally to him, but that personality coupled with his thin figure made him a glowing target for the trouble makers in the school. he went from average to seen as below that, as some piece of dirt that everyone could pick away at. yongguk could never build up the courage to say anything, as well.. his parents were stressed enough from work, and the teachers genuinely didn't care about such things as long as it didn't impact studies. so he just slowly began to accept the situation and let their dark insults and ridged hits tear into him each and every time. at some point, he let those people's words convince him that this was what he deserved. he never knew exactly what he did wrong except for the fact that he just.. was wrong. no matter what. but things changed when he graduated high school with decent marks- he'd no longer have to see these people around, and he also had a chance to leave the area. while yongguk used to see jilin as his beautiful home, at this point.. each and every alleyway seemed to be a reminder of his pain, making him shiver as he remembers multiple times of being completely pounded upon. so he applied for universities far away- and ended up moving into jangseung. somehow, the move changed everything for him. his introverted yet caring personality alongside his soft looks began to gather others attention, although he didn't know it at the time. the boy only realized it when he was pushed to perform at a festival the school was hosting by one of his friends, and the audience all seemed ready to cheer for before he even got out a word. he was overwhelmed but in a way that made his insides fill up with warm fuzzy feelings as he began to sing, letting his refreshing voice be heard by everyone. ever since then, yongguk's slight popularity had exploded, and he had become known as the "campus crush". everywhere he'd go, he'd recieve a confession or a few gifts which made his ears go red as he muttered out a soft thanks. he just.. wasn't used to this love and attention from his peers- he couldn't believe that something so precious was coming to him.. but for some reason, yongguk felt like it was fleeting, that all these people would see that he didn't deserve this and leave him any moment.. and so he made up his mind to never, ever, let it go, to cherish each and every person who loved him. he became obsessive over the gifts and confessions he did get, hoarding them all into his closet that quickly became overfilled. any time he was feeling low he'd just open up that closet and become happy once again looking at that.. he fell in love with love. and that's where it'd get worse. he'd silently stalk some of the people who he found more to his liking that had confessed to him recently to make sure they were still only loving him as they said. he'd do anything to assure that love would never leave him, even if he couldn't reciprocate to them all. however, suddenly-- a new boy arrived on campus who had sweetly made his way into yongguk's heart purely as an individual- not as just one of his million lovers. the male's heart would race the moment he thought of the other, and the feeling of loving a person as themselves was just euphoric for him-- until he confessed. kim yongguk confessed only to be received with rejection. the way that the situation had spiralled out of his control, the way that the /one/ person he cared about the most would dare to take away that love he tried his best to protect away from him.. he grew mad just thinking about it. so yongguk used his connections to inflict pain on the other. he slowly spread rumours as if they were truth through the loudest mouths he knew on campus, ruining the boy's reputation in no time. he let the boy feel how it was without love, made him feel like how yongguk had felt back in jilin but worse. the rumours never stopped, and with time, other people added new things on to it. yongguk had just got the ball rolling down a hill as tall as mount everest. the end of all of this was the boy committing suicide due to all the social pressure that had surrounded him recently. yongguk was sad at the news in front of others, but he couldn't help but laugh when he arrived home. that's what he deserved for taking away yongguk's love. after that incident, yongguk kept himself in love with love and doing things to retain said love but.. no exact individual hit his heart in the way that boy had afterwards, not yet. perhaps that person will appear suddenly once again during this mess of spirals.