Personal Message
Description
Weak by body, strong by heart, daydreamer by essence. A little paradox she was called by what surrounded her.
— paradox
/ˈparədɒks/
noun
a seemingly absurd or contradictory statement or proposition which when investigated may prove to be well founded or true.
— The past.
How to handle when something you are and something you have to be collide? Two worlds collapsing into each other that are causing a massive emotional storm, an identity crisis, yet shaping the person you will be in the future, or at least, what you shall become one day.
She does not remember most of her childhood before she was unluckily adopted by a childless noble family. Suffocated by the luxury she never asked, she was partly objectified by her parents. Having no children would damage their status, so they were forced to take an outsider into their circle. She was mommy's flawless daughter, and daddy's little princess. Perhaps that's how her people saw her, when in reality she just had her mind and soul turned off. Don't think and your exprectation's won't hurt you. The girl only lived when she escaped in a world created by the famous authors. There she was a real princess, locked in the tower, waiting for the brave knight to save her from the fire-spitting dragon. But who was to save her in real world?
— The secrets.
When she was around thirteen, and her curiosity reached the apogee of stupidity, she entered her dad's office without his permission. She was often told that ladies shouldn't step in there, and when he said ladies he meant Sabrina. She was probably the only being that never saw how the room looked like, or why was it forbidden to be visited by her. The door was open and, of course she slid in the four burgundy walls, where a black wood table was placed right in the middle and a portrait of someone she didn't know placed right above it.
Then she saw it. A thick leather book, which reminds you of bible, but it wasn't it. There were all the secrets of the family tree imprinted, from the beginning of their existence till nowadays. And she read it, the first few pages were enough to understand that she was adopted by a family of vampires. Mythical creatures that feed themselves wtih blood. Monsters. Was she even their child, or did they keep her for blood. Millions of thoughts started piecing her brain. Scared, triggered and even terrified by the grotesque truth, she ran out of the dad's office.
The truth was that, they really started loving Sabrina as their own child, even if her education was extremely strict. She couldn't hang out with people her age after school, but go to her etiquette and painting classes that she hated. She wasn't even good at painting, her lines were never straight, and her threes looked like an ugly watercolor mistake. Her mom never showed affection in public, and her dad never said she was loved, but there was the untold words that were sensed when they were all alone in front of the fireplace.
They never found out she knew who they were, and maybe she just accepted her fate. If they were to kill her one day, then so it be. Now she was even quiter than before, and tried to be invisible around them.
When she had the chance to choose to remain with her family or break free, she broke free. The gothic atmosphere was the life energy out of her. She did not ask for a penny from her parents but tried to do her own stuff for living. At first, a waitress, then she tried herself as a singer, and multiple fails that seemed to discourage her little by little. Her love for reading and writing, however, never went anywhere.The only source of hope was still a universe that did not exist in the reality. Where fairies could fly, where evil queens always lost the war and the princesses found their true love.
— The Ink and paper.
It started with a drop of black ink upon the crisp papers of her journal. Words spilled like a waterfall, until she had the first chapter of her story finished. She had realistic characters that mirrored her own anxiety and worries, and characters that were the complete opposite, brave and optimistic ones that became the missing pieces into her personality puzzle. Her first book was self published, and the sales somehow managed to bring her motivation to make writing her constant occupation.
Her dream was to become acknowledged by the writer community and to be published properly. Also, maybe to become a best selling author one day, but it was so far from her, a blind dream, like stepping onto the water and hopping you won't drown. Fully yet, absorbed by her ideas, the girl seemed like living in her books and forgot was reality looked like. There were no bad people, and if they were, they were always sentenced. There true love existed. There she knew what her childhood was like. There she could voice her pains. There she could do magic and make her wishes come true.
— The tarot card.
The Lovers.
Your first instinct will most likely be to associate this card as representing love, but, much like love, it is not quite that simple. Not only does love come in many forms, but the Lovers may indicate important or difficult choices ahead in your life. This is bad, in that the choices it signals are generally mutually exclusive, paths to two very different futures, but also good, in that it confirms that at least one of those paths will take you to a good place. As such, if you happen to find it in your spread, you should consider it carefully, but not fear it. It tells a story of difficult choices, likely painful, but that the correct decision and a positive outcome are within your grasp.
