she still remembers the first ray of sunlight shining into the glass building as she descends from the escalator, eyes curiously darting around the signs both subbed with korean and english, which are two relatively weak languages for her. but a young heart of excitement barely bothers about it, she has finally arrived in seoul, one of the top listed places that she has vowed to visit at least once in her life on her travel list. she has been dying to visit here ever since middle school, and it is still unreal to her that she finally set foot on this piece of land. 

she has done as many preparations for the trip, from the food, language, culture, even accommodation, but perhaps there is something she can never prepare herself for. in fact, no one could have prepared for this.

she was all alone for the first few days, straying in the streets like a scaredy cat. then she met a group of three in the second week, her heart settled down a bit and they shared stories about themselves, where they were and what they did before this outbreak. everyone seemed to have gotten closer after that sharing, and they are more systematic in a way where there are people who are in charge of food, medical supply, flashlights, and firearms.

then they met another group of five on 21st october, 2120. they formed a larger group and like their group, the group of five also has a more matured system of food and other supply. but this time, they are not so lucky. the adults in the groups always fight about who should go out and seek for food, overly dramatic because none wants to risk their lives for others. and one day everything went down when one of them stabbed another, before she knew she was running with her bag and radio, the group of nine eventually split up once again. 

she ran away with two other girls namely ling and zhou. they didn't run too far, only until a building where they could overlook the previous shelter. they lost a lot of their supply and xiao believed that it was all scattered in the old spot, so they decided to wait for a few days before going back to assemble their stuff. little did they know, they have guests, four men used to be in their previous group.

the two who were fighting were long dead and the four men used ling and zhou's life to threaten xiao to help find a cure, thinking she had medical knowledge to help them. but xiao is just a student, and when she confessed that she could not do that, they were visibly disappointed. in the following nights, xiao found cuts on her arms, being intensely close to getting killed by the infected who could not hold themselves back. at first she was curious as to how she got the cuts, until one day her insomnia hit and she pretended to be asleep, she felt someone slicing cuts on her arm. she realized one, brutal truth.

if you are no use to people, your existence only brings them inconvenience. and the simplest way to get rid of one is to kill them. 

disappointment and hatred took over her and the only thing she could think of to save her life is to kill the ones who tried to do that. but any suspicious actions might cause her to die faster and she needed to make sure everything was as natural and secretive- she was a student after all, she had no idea how complicated and cruel the world can be. but if she stay put, maybe she will never get to see her parents ever again.

late night talks, friends, the color black, parents, (to be edited soon).

hypocrites, liars, smoke, snakes, (to be edited soon) .

Listening to songs, watching movies, sketching, sleeping, doing yoga.

stay alive.

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