TRIGGER WARNING! ABUSE.  

I've reinvented myself once. I can do it again.

Xu Jiaqi, the youngest daughter of the respected Xu clan in China had always known that she was different, even way before her feet touched the ground. Even her birth was not something that was... well, ordinary. 

See, she was supposed to be a half of a twin.

Her parents had been expecting twins, a boy, and a girl. After having two girls before, they were finally going to have a baby boy. Her mother's pregnancy was a smooth one but it was what happened during her labor that changed the course of the family's fate itself. 

The moon was full when Madam Xu gave smoothly delivered Jiaqi but when the time came for her to give birth to her son, clouds suddenly covered up the moon to the point that not even moonlight could stray through the spaces between the clouds. The sky was fully black and when her mother gave birth to her twin brother, he came out silent.

He was stillborn.
 
Needless to say, her parents were distraught. Her father was fully convinced that Jiaqi was a curse, brought to the family by Heavens above as a punishment for him stealing the family business from his older brother. He'd badly wanted a male heir but to no avail. Her mother, on the other hand, never blamed her. If anything, she tried her best to give Jiaqi as much love as she could but was often yelled at by her husband for even trying to give her daughter some attention.
 
Her father made it clear to the rest of the family that Jiaqi was not his favorite. If anything, she wasn't even on the list.

He loathed her.

Her sisters could've broken a vase and he'd gently chide them but if Jiaqi made the same mistake, she'd be locked inside her own room for some 'self-reflection'. 

To the rest of the world, he was the perfect father who loved all of his daughters equally. He kept up with his public appearance and tried his very hardest to keep his hatred towards his youngest hidden, and he did it well. Nobody knew what was going on behind closed doors. There was always an excuse for the bruises on her legs, her arms. 

"She fell down, my baby's clumsy." Lies. He had hit her the night before.

"Oh her forehead? Yes, my poor baby accidentally tripped and fell down the stairs. We all know how clumsy she is.. I'm considering installing a thicker layer of carpet just to stop her bruises." More lies. He'd pushed her off and down the stairs when the 5 years old was trying to get her father's attention by showing him her medal, without so much as a second glance. 

Yet, Jiaqi tried. She worked her very hardest in school and always came out on top, she excelled in sports - especially archery and horse-riding, she was the prized pupil of her school by the ripe age of 6 but it wasn't enough to still the hatred that her father had for her.

She was a girl, not a boy. She'd caused her twin brother's death. She was a curse.

However, amidst the darkness, there was a small glimmer of hope and the smallest flicker of warmth but enough to warm her heart and ease the pain that she felt.

Wen Junhui.

Often, they'd come by to her house and her mother would sneak her out just so they could play together, and more often than not, it would be at a playground that was further from the house. A safe haven, it was and Jun? They were her angel.

"One day, when we’re grown up, I promise I’ll take you away from here." Those were the words that Jun had said to her when they were 7, and she'd made them pinky promise but alas, life decided that even Jun was too good to remain in her life. She had one day, awaken to the news that still pains her to this day.

Jun was gone, Jun had left her, Jun abandoned her without a single word.

Oddly enough, ever since that day, Jiaqi would see her mother sneaking into her own room to shed tears, and when she asked, her mother would simply shake her head and tell her that it was nothing. She was kept in the dark about the reason for her best friend's abandonment for years and for that very reason, kept her heart closed off from the rest of the world. She couldn't understand why they'd left her like that. The thought alone was too much for the young girl to process, her heart had been broken by the only person she trusted with all of her heart.

It was only when her father caught her trying to sneak into her mother's room once more that she finally found out why.

"Stop coming into your mother's room." Her father snarled, raising his hand as if to hit the child. "Keep your cursed energy away from us, demon. You caused your brother's death and then your godmother died because she got too close to you." He instead reached out to pull her hair, causing her head to tilt back as she looked back at him in horror and tears dangling at the corners of her eyes, completely in shock. "Do you want to cause your parents' death too, ?" He released her, causing her to fall to the floor in a crumbling mess.

Her godmother was dead. Jun's mother was dead. Was that why they left? Did they blame her for her death too? Was it really her fault?

Over time, Jiaqi grew to hate her father, and she blamed Jun for abandoning her. She started to become rebellious, unwilling to cooperate with any of her father's commands. Why should she listen to a man, a man who could only blame her for the death of someone when she too, had only been a baby? How was it ever her fault? Her mother was far too weak to stand up for her and the rest of the world saw her father as some godly kind of figure who could do no harm to anyone, especially not his own daughter.

It was especially bad when her mother passed away. It was almost as if he had completely lost his mind, giving in to whatever paranoia he had about her being a cursed child who never should've been brought to the world. Her father would keep her locked up inside her own room despite her sisters' pleas for her release. It was during that time that she found solace in yet another place.

The moon.

Her mother used to sing her lullabies about the moon, and she'd always felt a strong connection to it so she turned to it. She'd draw, paint and even write poems about the moon. It somehow came naturally to her, almost as if she'd watched someone do art for thousands of years that every word breathed more life into her subject - or the moon, in this case, than before but it helped her and stopped her from giving in to darkness and stopping her own breath. It helped save her soul from the dark abyss.

As soon as Jiaqi hit 18, she pulled the money that her mother had left behind for her and she left. There was more than enough for her to live her life until she finished her studies so she rented a nearby studio apartment and enrolled herself in university as a veterinarian major, paying off her tuition fees through scholarship using her top grades from her school years. It was also there that she vowed that she would never truly get too close to anyone once more and she reinvented herself.

She cut off her hair that was once long and silky to a hairstyle that reached only her chin. Instead of dressing like a young daughter of a rich family, she started going with combat boots, jeans, a tank top and a denim jacket - sometimes, leather. Since then, she started going by the name, Kiki and cut off all ties with her family - well, mostly her father since she was still occasionally exchanging texts with her sisters.

However, a few years later, her life started being turned upside down once more. By then, she had already graduated with her name at the very top of the Dean's list and she was working at the finest vet clinic there was to offer in China. Life was... great, to say the least. She still felt a sense of emptiness in her heart but she'd often brushed it off as an aftereffect of being abused by her father. She'd kept telling herself that - yes, she still had nightmares of her father and his abuse but her life was finally peaceful, there was nothing else that she was missing, nothing that would hurt her and for a while, she was convinced. At least, until she went on a fateful camping trip with a couple of friends who had wanted to reconnect after graduating from university.

They had come across an injured deer in the forest, wounded by a hunter but it had miraculously survived. Jiaqi was the one who checked out the deer's head as the rest of them checked out the body, trying to save it in the middle of nowhere. Her eyes met with it and almost instantly, a wave of familiarity washed over her. It was almost as if... she knew it, she didn't know how but she just.. well, she just knew. She could just tell.

Ever since then, Jiaqi's nightmares were gone and instead replaced by a recurring dream. She'd be running across a forest, dressed in an unfamiliar white robe while holding onto a bow and arrow, and there was always a white deer running ahead of her but each time she got close, she'd wake up. Eventually, she started digging through the Internet and poured all of her attention into books that could explain what she was experiencing but to no avail, she just couldn't find her answer. That emptiness inside her heart grew more and more evident with each passing second and it bothered her to no end. There was definitely something wrong. She'd just about given up when she came across a website.

If you seek answers, come to Moirai City.

Those were the very headline of the article and for some reason, she felt compelled to give it a try. It was almost as if her subconscious knew that was exactly where she would finally find the missing piece that her heart had been yearning for. Suddenly, it felt like she was finally going to find out why she felt so connected to the moon and of course, explain why she'd felt that tingling sense of familiarity around that deer. The opportunity was right there and she took it, no hesitation, no looking back. She was finally going to get some answers to who she truly was.

1855 words.

the moon, animals, archery, the color silver, combat boots, hot chocolate, loyalty, justice, honesty, logic, rationality.

deception, abandonment, betrayal, her family, being asked about her family, hunters, clowns, getting too close to people, weakness, injustice.

writing poems, drawing, painting, camping, reading, archery, horse-riding.

she wants to find the reason for the emptiness she feels.

below are some little tidbits about jiaqi that serves as fun facts but can be implemented into plots if needed/wanted.

★ important. try to have something in mind and read my profile before actually taalking to me about roleplaying. if you'd like, feel free to send me a random starter! the more unique or out of the box, the better. also, feel free to ask me anything you'd like about jiaqi. i'd be more than happy to explain.

★ writing style. i do multi-para to novella. they're all usually done in 3rd pov. lengthwise, i generally try my best to mirror but i tend to get carried away, especially when my muse is strong so it's not a guarantee.

★ plotting style. i prefer plotting over winging most of the time, but i can wing. because of this, i don't mind doing somewhat vague-ish plots that provide enough detail for you but also gives us enough room to play around with our ideas. i also don't typically approach people unless i have a plot or idea in mind, and i really really appreciate it when people do the same. it saves a lot of time.

★ overall. i'm very flexible about how we actually rp and will work at your pace if possible. i'm really chill with whatever you wanna do.

★ activity and reply speed. i will never poke you. never poke me. you also don't need to remind me about me owing you a reply. i usually remember who i'm roleplaying with. also refrain from using my activity or lack of it as an excuse to pester me about a reply. doing like that will just annoy me and make me prolong sending something if i send something at all. i'm usually very slow with my replies, sometimes because of the length, but sometimes because i'm just slow to do them. we can always drop/pick up our thread(s), but make sure you communicate with me. also know that i might be active in the chat infrequently or a lot. i'm not a very consistent person when it comes to this.