Name: lee heeseung
nicknames: doesn't really have any in particular, so far?
age: 19
birthday: october 15
occupation: first year physics student
ual orientation: still figuring it out
love language: trivia
relationship status: trivia
nationality: trivia
ethnicity: trivia
languages spoken: trivia

“you’re our only hope.”

heeseung cannot count the amount of times these words were said to him. over and over, drilled into his mind from a young age. he believed it all, and held the future of a whole family upon his shoulders.

why had he been forced into this situation?

his family is dysfunctional, that’s the summary. his father is actually an okay man, just distant. the true problems are his mother and older brother. his mother is ultimately image oriented, considering how they come off to others over all else. while they have issues with money. it doesn’t take his level of observation to realize where that’s stemming from. his brother is just… heeseung’s too disappointed to think about him for long. a complete failure with no sense of responsibility would be a lenient description of him.

and suddenly, in this family… a second child appeared, one who obviously had a knack for learning, or a quicker brain than others- everything just seemed natural and easy for him. of course they’d put their faith in him to change their financially unstable family into a rich one, because that’s apparently all they need - so heeseung must provide it.

that’s the one reason why he’s come so far, and has now entered university with the goal of a perfect graduation for a future job which can fulfill his family’s needs. it’s a goal he must accomplish.
 

heeseung was a surprisingly bright child, not only in the mind. the work given to him was so easy that he would read ahead for fun, and still have the leisure to go out and play sometimes with the other kids. the expectations didn’t really matter… nor did they feel that concrete in his mind, because he was still able to do everything he wanted. so he enjoyed everyday, doing his part while also making friends. sure, it was y when those other kids for being a nerd due to his good results or even worse, when they commented on the lack of food in his packed lunches-- but looking back on it, he still realizes he had been expressive and happy throughout that.

at some point, things changed.

(heeseung remembers the exact moment, even if he tries to forget it.

it was a late night, and the boy wasn’t sleeping when he should have.

his brother had came home late, alongside his parents… who had picked him up from the police station, after he was spotted with his girlfriend committing.. some sort of unknown crime, they never told heeseung the details. all the young boy had was what he overheard, whilst shaking by the edge of his doorframe.

there was a lot of shouting. it seemed to never stop, all three of them just endlessly responding in yells and trying to intimidate each other with the louder noises - in the end, it felt as if only he was the one affected by them, as if he was the only one terrified at this sight.

he overheard how his brother’s grades had been slipping, how he had been blowing most of his money on drugs and the rest went towards failed bribes to his teachers, how he had spent all of his time out partying… and a whole slew of other issues heeseung would rather not recount.

the main thing he remembers is freezing up on the spot; his heart completely broken. after all, his brother was all he wanted to be. a high performing young man with strong dedication and a will for hard work no matter what he was doing, someone who created results through his effort. although, he was kind of distant with heeseung, but the boy had always understood it as being unintentional. perhaps it's because of their large age gap making it awkward, or his brother was too busy with his other priorities to check up on him, and that was fine. when they did meet and talk, he was always kind and helpful. he was someone to idolize, someone to follow and be inspired by.

but now..

he never wants to become that sort of person. he cannot let himself become someone like his brother.

(is it because he’s scared of hearing those yells condemning him, because the betrayal he felt was too severe, or because he hates what the other’s become? he’s not quite sure.

but nowadays… perhaps he’s afraid he’ll crack under the pressure and become a failure too. the older he grows, the more he realizes his parents have guided him into leading the “corrected” version of his brother’s life. one slip and he might become just as flawed..)

the day after this was probably the debut of the repetitive “you’re our only hope” which would never leave his ears again. before that, he had just felt he should do his best because of their situation..)

everything began to feel all too serious, as if any of his small actions now could snowball into a terrible ending where he’s unable to reach that goal and lets everyone down. it was a natural progression, the boy closing up and losing his leisure more each year. and by now, most of his responses to other people are short and dismissive, because he should be focusing every moment possible on his studies. he’s objective, though. he knows he’s now unlikable, judgemental, cold, whatever people say. but at least he’s someone who could fit the description of a perfect student. at least he’s someone who can reach the goal set for him. that much eases his nerves.

height: 183cm
eye color: Trivia
hair color: trivia
physique: trivia
tatoos: trivia
birth marks: trivia
beauty marks: trivia
jewerly: trivia

casual attire: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. 
fancy attire: Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. 

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timezone: trivia
writing style: Trivia
writing length: trivia
plotting style: trivia
writing triggers: trivia
reply speed: trivia

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