— you've never been much of an omega, have you?
kim donghyun's life isn't an easy one, but at the same time, maybe it's not a hard one. not hard enough for him to complain. in a way, he's a spoiled mafia heir. on the other, he's been molded into what his father wants and not what he wishes he was.
he's the youngest of four children. the only omega of the lot. but his father looks at him and sees something he can mold to be sharp of tooth and vicious. his father discourages the behaviors that might be expected of an omega and as soon as donghyun's old enough to potentially have heats, his father forces him to go on suppressants. it's not the worst thing he does to his preteen son, but it's the worst thing donghyun will admit has happened.
donghyun grows up snapping between hot and cold, either violent and angry or stony and detached. he grows up hearing how unlike an omega he is. alpha peers mock him for being unfit to even . the older he gets, the worse it is and the worse it makes him feel. he's a vicious monster, carved by his father's careful hands, and he can't be the one thing he wants to be. he has to hide what he wants in order to survive. he can't risk his father's wrath. his father isn't afraid to hurt him, not when he's young.
as soon as he's old enough, donghyun leaves his father's home. he finally goes off suppressants, fully intent to live his life as an omega. it doesn't go as planned.
his first heat puts him in the hospital. it's so painful he can't stop screaming. hormone imbalance, the doctors say. it'll take months, maybe years, and hormone treatments for it to even out. maybe he's infertile.
and that's the worst blow of them all. donghyun wants to have pups. it's all he's wanted since he was fourteen. he wants to be an omega, he wants to be a parent but his father's not only made him this... thing that no one would ever see as an omega but he's also, quite possibly, taken all chance of having children away from donghyun.
donghyun learns that alcohol can numb pain and that even if they don't see him as a proper omega, a lot of alphas won't pass up a quick, easy that can take more pain than other omegas. his best friend is the person who has to pull him out, but the desire for an alpha's attention never quite leaves. it's never fulfilled in the way he really wants, but it never leaves.
— now look at you. didn't you get what you wanted?
all it takes is one mistake. donghyun's life falls apart after one bloody night in the club, trying to collect a debt for his father.
it turns out he's not so infertile after all. that child he's always wanted is growing inside him. the father is posed to become a permanent fixture in his life. it's twisted irony. donghyun wanted so much, but not the way he got it.
— things will never be the same.
it's a long walk down a short aisle. cold rings and colder gazes. it's a pristine house in an upper class neighborhood, a white picket fence and a storm behind closed doors. it's teeth in his neck and a bond he can't walk away from.
there's no such thing as freedom left for him.
kim iseul
- a girl, the first girl in his family in a long time
- nicknamed 'bean' and 'the bean'. it's short for jellybean.
