People pontificate, "Suicide is selfishness." Career churchmen go a step further and call in a cowardly assault on the living. People argue this specious line for varying reason: to evade fingers of blame, to impress one's audience with one's mental fiber, to vent anger, or just because one lacks the necessary suffering to sympathize. Cowardice has nothing to do with it - suicide takes considerable courage. Japanese have the right idea; what's selfish is to demand another to endure an intolerable existence, just to spare families, friends, and enemies a bit of soul-searching.

Practically the epitome of things all good itself, rest your eyes upon Zhang Yixing. 'Angel without Wings' 'The Second Jesus' Yixing has been called it all, and with good reason as he is practically a saint. Yixing has an open heart, and his intentions when doing things are always good, hence the reason he came to this asylum willingly, as he saw this as a chance to help those in need. In Yixing's eyes, this is his chance to prove that flaws are okay too, that flaws are what make a person truly unique even though he was deemed as perfect.

Though the male is far from perfect, and so is his past. Yixing was born to a single teenage mother who was definitely not ready for a child. She was without a job, without money, and bitter that she had gotten pregnant. As soon as Yixing had popped out of her, she was at the government office, collecting welfare, food stamps, anything to give her money. Though the money she was given didn't go to her child at; this was the start of an endless cycle of her using Yixing. All the money she received was used for clothes, makeup, drugs, and alcohol. It wasn't enough to sustain her needs though. His mother was money hungry, and so when she got asked out by a single, widowed man who had quite a bit of money, she immediately hopped at the chance. On just the first date, she brought him back to her place, and didn't hesitate to have with him despite the fact that her two year old son was home. As Yixing grew older, he became accustomed to hearing his mother and the bed squeaking. He, of course, didn't know what the noises were though. 

 

When he was just 7, Yixing was cleaning up after his mother, wiping the vomit from and cleaning the makeup from her face; it was a daily routine for him, and out of the love for his mother, he did it every night. She had brought over a certain man again, the one who gave her the very things she was slowly killing herself with - drugs, alcohol, etc - As the boy cleaned her up, the drunken male attacked him, groping at him, slapping him when he gave futile attempts to fight back. Yixing screamed, no one heard him, not even his mother who was in the room right next to the one he had been pulled into. That night, Yixing finally found out what true pain felt like. 

It was the first time, though it definitely wouldn't be the last. Yixing grew older, and the attacks continued, and he soon found out his mother didn't even care. She encouraged it, and even started selling her son for her daily fix. A mother deafened to her child's cries. Yixing found himself not fighting back anymore, because he couldn't. He knew it was to no use. He could only go to school, come home, and close his eyes as the abuse started up. Life became a cycle, at least until he met Alex. Him. He was everything Yixing wasn't. Strong mentally and physically, outgoing, talkative, and extroverted. And most importantly, he didn't just overlook Yixing. Life started going good, things started changing, and although the abuse at home didn't end, Yixing started to think that maybe he could survive it. The male fell in love, hard. Sure, the relationship wasn't perfect, but that was oka with Yixing.

 

And just as hard as he fell, his heart had been thrown to the ground, right beside him. Yixing had been nothing more than a joke to the other. Word had gotten around about the ual escapades Yixing went through at home, and their relationship was nothing more than a trial for Alex to get a taste of what every other male had forcefully gotten. From there, the relationship went downhill. Alex went from sweet to abusive. His sweet words turned to harsh insults, his gentle touches turned to slaps across the face. He used Yixing whenever he wanted, and kept tabs on him 24/7. He contolled every aspect of Yixing's life, and he too encouraged the abuse his mother put him through, saying it would give Yixing experience. Yixing endured it though, because he was in love. Though after nearly a year of abuse, Alex dumped Yixing, saying he couldn't date a , and with that, a huge part of Yixing died. To make matters worse, when he got home, his mother was gone, the apartment empty with only a note left behind: "This should last you." along with 50 dollars. Heartbroken, frantic, and traumatized, Yixing took the money and started running as fast as he could away. Away from everything. He found himself in a shabby cafe, cheeks wet, eyes red, and out of breath when an older woman approached him and simply handed him a coffee giving him a soft look. With just that look, he busted into tears, his words moving faster than he could control as the woman only rubbed his back.

 

It was then that Yixing realized just how much having someone listen could help, how much a gentle touch could change a life, how a kind gesture could save one.

 

Just being 16 at the time, Yixing got a job at the cafe, switched school and began to focus on his studies. He stayed in the room just above the cafe, paying rent through his check. After years of studying, Yixing got into college, and knew exactly what he wanted to major in. He worked hard, check his eyes on his goal, and soon enough graduated. As soon as he heard about the government's actions for a perfect society, and about the open positions to help those who were flawed, Yixing wasted no time taking the job. He knew he was meant to help. 

 

Yixing went from a quiet, awkward, soft spoken boy to a bright, outgoing, happy one. Although it isn't a happy ending. Because even now Yixing has moments where he busts into tears. He can't even look into the mirror without feeling like he wants to disappear, and freezes up when it comes to be complimenting. His self esteem is low. He cries silently at night, and has to keep a night light just to assure himself that no one is coming.

 

Zhang Yixing isn't perfect.

 

Plots-

 

Beautiful - People see you as a monster. I don't. In my eyes, you're beautiful, because beauty comes with flaws. It's a shame to see such a beautiful creature locked up, forced to the confines of this asylum, and it kills me even more to know that others find you revolting. Don't worry though, my opinion will never change, and I will always be here to assure you that you're beautiful. Don't let them tell you otherwise. 1/1 patient male/female park chanyeol ;; moderate angst, some drama, little fluff

 

Reminiscient - You remind me of him, and that terrifies me. You're assigned to me, but I can barely look you in the eye because every time I do, it reminds me a little more. The harsh words, the punches, the bittersweet romance. Everything comes back when I see you, and I don't know how to deal with this. I feel like I'm failing as a counselor to you. But I guess now is the time for me to try and face it. 0/1 patient male only ;; high angst, high drama, flash backs, triggers

 

A Promise - You're a little weird, but so am I. That's why I became a counselor, so that I could show people that maybe being weird isn't all that bad. I promise you, you will realize that too. Even if you are flawed and society frowns on you, I promise I will help you, I promise that in the end you can depend on me and I will support whatever decision you wish to make, even if that decision is you trying to go back into society. I never break a promise. 1/1 patient male/female sunggyu ;; mild angst, moderate drama, mild fluff

 

Secrets - I'll tell you a secret, then you'll tell me one.  That's the deal we made. A secret for a secret, and neither of us can tell a soul. This is for me to gain your trust and see if I can get to the root of your problems, but at the same time, I feel like you're starting to get to root of mine more than me getting to yours. I try not to think back in the past, but you're making me. The secrets started out innocent, slightly naive, but they've turned darker and deeper. Now I remember why I've wanted to keep them as secrets. 1/2 patient male/female taemin ;; high angst, high drama, triggering scenarios, possible

 

Partners - We're partners, and that's that. If you stopped being so stubborn maybe we could get some work done, but of course I would never say that aloud. I will only keep on trying to open you up, that's what I'm best at after all. Since we're kind of forced to spend a lot of time together, we might as well become friends! 1/1 workers male/female jieun ;; mild comedy, drama

 

Fists - Fighting is never the answer. I believe strongly in that. And so since you have been getting in numerous fights, I guess it's my job to show that to you. Every second of my day will be dedicated to proving this to you. You don't always have to use your fists, words can solve everything. 1/2 patients & workers male/female kwon jiyong, ;; mild comedy, slight drama, violence

 

Late Nights - I'm afraid to sleep. I don't want to see it again. I don't want to relive it. I stay up nowadays, it helps. I find that trailing around helps out too, that's where I stumbled across you. We don't really talk, we just sit together at night and stare at the clear sky. When we do talk, it's only when necessary, or when we feel the need to vent. I like these late nights, and I never want to lose them. 0/2 patients & workers male/female  ;; drama, mild angst

 

Landslide - You saw me at my most vulnerable moment. You saw me what no one else was ever meant to see. You saw the flawed side of me, the side I've been try so hard to hide. You saw the tears, you heard the whimpers. I never meant to break down, at least not here. Please don't tell, because I can't end up in here. I'll do anything. 3/3 patients & workers male/female minji, jongdae, nakajima  ;; high angst, high drama, triggering

 

Tea - That's how it all started, with a cup of tea. That's what you would always ask for, tea. Boba tea, warm tea, cold tea. Always tea. I was just the person behind the counter, you were the customer. And yet, it became more. It became a connection, a friendship of the sort. On my off time, we would sit together and quietly chat about even the smallest of things: favorite tea flavors, favorite colors. to the bigger things like life, love, and more. Always over some type of tea. But our blooming connection was cut short when you suddenly stopped showing up. I never thought I would see you here, but I am happy to see you. 0/1 patients & workers male/female ;; possible romance, moderate angst, high drama