Personal Message
〔 Zhang Yixing 〕
yixing : oct. 7 : 179 cm : credits
☰☰☰☰☰ ☰☰☰☰☰
At first sight, Yixing seems to be the quiet type. He's not the kind of person to start conversations, which makes it hard for him to form friendships or relationships with people. When he does befriend someone, though, he tries his best to keep their relationship intact. This, however, leads to eventual clinginess- something he tries to look out for but fails to stop from happening. He does not like arguing or fighting in any kind, whether it's physical or verbal, and tends to stray away from them. Yixing likes to play guitar and compose in his free time, and keeps all of his songs in a book he carries around.
☰☰☰☰☰ ☰☰☰☰☰
How did I get here?
As a young child, Yixing grew up happy. His parents told him countless times that he rarely cried or fussed, so he grew up believing that he wouldn't feel anything beyond sadness. He grew up with a love for music, always cherishing a guitar that his father managed to give to him as a gift for his birthday. He had everything he needed to be happy.
As years pass, he slowly began to realize just how cruel the world is. When his father lost his job, Yixing found himself having to work a part-time job in addition to his schoolwork to help his mother with the payment of his family's bills. Fights and arguments sprouted in between his mother and father, and even between Yixing and his father. But with the help of his friends, he managed to keep smiling through the problems.
However, he wasn't expecting his father to disappear.
When he arrived home from school one day and found his mother crying in the corner of the living room, he felt his heart break. After that day, she worked and worked and found new jobs until her body failed her and Yixing couldn't help but break down into tears when he found out his mother was in the hospital.
Yixing felt so vulnerable and scared, knowing that he could lose his parents. Now, experiencing new emotions he was not used to, something changed inside of him and he acted upon things he never thought he'd bring himself to even think about. Not once had he ever raised his voice to his parents, but he did. He yelled, and screamed, and blamed his mother for ending up like this, for raising him like this, spilling all emotions out through venom-laced words. Of course it didn't last long before he had enough of the look on his mother's face, as if she had been broken into a million pieces and she knew no one could fix her, and he ran off like the coward he is.
To where, he didn't know, nor care. He only packed as much as he could in a backpack and left.
He ran and hitchhiked and rode buses and ran even more, until he couldn't anymore. So when he ended up in a little town along the coast of an ocean, Yixing hoped that he could start over, that he could grow up to be who he really wanted to be. Once he arrived, he found a job, and stayed in a very small apartment using his parents' money. He had to lie about his age, of course, considering a 16-year-old would never be allowed to live by themself.
But he felt happy and relieved for the first time in a while.
