Hyuna's life as a small child are some of the only happy memories the woman now holds in her memories. They were filled with laughter and the patter of bare feet running around the house, the faint voice of her mother telling both her and her twin sister to go put their slippers on before they caught a cold. She remembers playing foul with her twin once when they were little too, "Race you on the count of three!" she had said, but then just screamed, "Three!" at the top of her lungs before taking off and leaving her dumbfounded sister behind in the dust. There was even a memory of her father promising her and her sister that he would help them make cookies for their mom when she got home from a business trip; the kitchen ended up a mess and all three bodies were covered in flour. Their dad tried to blame it on the kids. Whenever Hyuna thinks about these small thoughts, she smiles a soft smile, one that barely ghosts across her lips and one that you have to be on the lookout for.

Her life has changed drastically since then. The happy, content bubble that was her life popped when she got into high school. Suddenly her sister wasn't by her side as much, they had already been drifting apart a little during middle school but neither girl wanted to admit it. It happened, though, when her twin sister got a boyfriend, some boy that grew up near the same neighborhood they lived in. The stress and anxiety that came with high school soon followed. Exams, grades, keeping people around her satisfied. It was all hard work. That summer, Hyuna had her first breakdown. Everything just got too much for her and she couldn't hold it in anymore. Her mother found her crying in the bathroom that night, and her sister later woke up due to the noise (turns out her boyfriend had sneaked in and her sister later got in trouble for it), and somehow her and her sister sewed the void between them back together, but this time had to bring along her boyfriend. Hyuna hated sharing, but if it was what got her sister to no longer ignore her, she took it.

Things seemed to be back to normal in Hyuna's eyes. She was so oblivious back then. Her sister had had assumptions about her parents fighting long before Hyuna did, maybe it was because she was the older twin, to this day she still hadn't figured it out. The truth was revealed when the teenager was woken up to yelling coming from downstairs, and Hyuna woke her sister before going to see what was up, hiding behind the couch to listen in. Apparently her dad had been cheating and her mom wanted a divorce. That's exactly what happened. Once they split, so were the twins. Hyuna stayed with her mom and her sister went with her dad. For the rest of high school, she mostly stayed quiet, especially now that her sister had switched schools as well from her moving with her father. Her twins boyfriend (or ex at this point, she never bothered to ask) seemed to be the only person she hung around. After graduation, things seemed to be getting better, finally. Of course that didn't last long. At 19, Hyuna was diagnosed with schizophrenia, something that was rare in women and usually didn't show up until way later in life.

She was suddenly put on many different medications to help keep herself "normal", or whatever was considered normal at this point. About a year later came that horrid night. She had forgotten to take her meds that day, so she was very jittery that evening and was hallucinating things and having delusions. She was convinced her mother was out to get her, that she wanted her gone and she kept thinking nobody cared about her anymore. Hyuna still has nightmares about this night, waking up abruptly in a cold sweat and panting like she just ran a marathon. The screams and feeling of blood on her hands are left fresh in her mind every time, too, like it just happened. A knife was pointed at her mother by none other than Hyuna herself, already throwing accusations left and right.

"Did you take your medication today?" her mom had asked, her voice calm as she slowly took a step forward, her hands raised up, showing she was on her daughters side. "What's that got to do with this? You want to get rid of me! It won't work if I get rid of you first!" She remembers her mother taking a few more slow steps forward, still trying to find a way to calm her down. Her mom had no avail, and the next few moments happened in the blink of an eye; suddenly her mom was on the ground in a puddle of blood with the knife beside her. Hyuna wasn't in her right state of mind, obviously. She should have called an ambulance, but instead she called the first person she thought of, her twin sisters boyfriend. When he arrived, he was of course freaking out on the inside but had to be careful, as Hyuna still had yet to take her meds. After talking her into taking them, he had her explain was happened and then called an ambulance. It was too late when they showed up, as her mother had lost way too much blood already and bled to death. The story that was told to the police was a lie; he told them that he was out with Hyuna and they came back to the house with her mother in this condition. Nobody sensed anything out of the ordinary, and by now the case was closed, ruled out as unsolved.

Guilt eats at her everyday since this, and she always makes sure to never, ever forget to take her medication again. She could no longer live in that house anymore, so she moved outwith the money she had and sold the place, buying her own apartment somewhere so she could start anew. Hyuna found that painting was a good way for her to express herself, and she started selling her work online as a way to make money. Of course, nothing has ever seemed to go right in her life anymore, as her twin went missing a few months later. Now, the only family she has left is her father, if she still even considers him family anymore.

Hyuna's personality has changed drastically over time. Currently, she's a very skittish woman now; ever since the incident with her mother, she's afraid she's going to hurt somebody else, so she's constantly pushing people away and shutting herself out, being locked away in her apartment. She's quiet and reserved and rarely speaks, only doing so when she really needs to. She has a very hard time expressing herself in words, and she does all of those things in her painting; if she's angry or upset there will be splashes of red and black, buildings with broken glass everywhere, if she's sad it'll be filled with blue and black and white, puddles of water maybe. Whatever emotion it is, she'll find a way to put it into her work.

Sometimes, Hyuna stutters, more when she's nervous and anxious about something, or worried, and she pants hard and loud when she feels like she's being suffocated. It's a bad idea to get her angry because she lashes out badly and sometimes gets physical, it's something she unfortunately got from her father. Hyuna hates being alone, but the fear of hurting someone again is too strong and continues to win. She rarely lets anybody through the wall that she's built, and if you found a way through, she must really care. You must be one of the few people that still see her smile, because you're probably the reason. The reason her paintings aren't always sorrow and somber and depressing. She needs more people like you in her life, if she'll let them enter.

painter

twenty five

single // biual

schizophrenic