✶ I only do third pov

✶ , angst, drama, every single genre is welcome

✶ I do not do one liners

✶ I don't do first pov at all, sorry

✶ I'm not too busy but I will often at times not be one, don't trust my online sign

✶ I will always tell you if I lose muse, can't reply or get bored

✶ I always apply to the rule 'ask first then start first'

✶ gmt -5 , Eastern Central

✶I will not reply to crack, random starters or 'run into' plots

✶ Please poke me after a few days, chancers are I saw you post or saw your comment

░ ░ ░ ░ BEGINNING ░ ░ ░ ░

It's not that Luhan wasn't happy with the life he was given; simply it wasa thrill that certain people had that he was jealous of. His parents were wealthy and they had tried their hardest to keep their only child as happy as he should be, clothes he always wanted to wear and toys to fill up his room. He didn't always enjoy his new clothes and he didn't play much with the toys his parents gave him along with love and affection that suffocated him. He watched outside every day at the kids who played outside, distantly wanting to feel that thrill of excitment and feeling of being accepted by others. Lu Han was too good for the other kids, one kid had said during class and since then his fourth grade year he spent alone, isolated from the other kids.

Lu Han was a spoiled child who wanted something that money could never buy but nothing could fill the empty void in his heart, pushed to its limit when his parents tried to replace the gaping hole with money and new toys, new clothes and concert tickets to bands he didn't even like. His parents bought his friends and for some time he didn't care, played it off because at the time pretending was good enough. He was such a young boy and he didn't realize this would change how he would be when he got older.

The seeking thrill Lu Han scoped for came when he was in middle school and he started to rebel; he took his first drink of alcohol at a friend's part and a few weeks later he had his first cigarette. He started to skip class too and his parents pretended not to see it, pretended not to see their beautiful child change before their eyes because they were scared. They were scared because they didn't know how to raise a child and they didn't know how to fix him, they didn't want to try so they gave him more money, told him they loved him and were out the door for their overseas work, and Lu Han pretended to not care.

High School was the same only he got older and taller, but he wasn't any masculine as his friends were. He was labeled 'weak' and small like a girl. He was picked on, inferior to the rest and he let those words seep into his skin like ink and it spread until all he had was hate. It wasn't long until he started sleeping around too, he stopped going to school in all and hung around the wrong groups of kids, his influence more than less beneficial. His parents tried once to stop his ignorance, to stop his kidding around and in the end he moved out at last minute, a temper gone wild that send him in a rage-- he wasn't thinking, rather, when he picked up his things and stayed at a friend's house. He lived there too, only until they kicked him out as well and he was to live on the streets.

 

 ░ ░ ░ ░ LATER ON  ░ ░ ░ ░

Lu Han was only on the streets for a month or two, his eyes had opened and he experienced things he hadn't before. Hunger, sadness, loss, emotions he had pushed aside and hadn't thought he could feel for a very long time. He felt vulnerable, scared and for some time he thought it was the end, the nights where he had slept cold in an ally and he had to wake up at odd hours, making sure he was safe. The nights he went hungry because he didn't have money and he had nothing left to sell. Sooner rather than later he found he had one thing left to sell, something that could bring him money and it was his only last resort because going back to his parents or finding friends was a dead end, he had no where left to go and he had no more sane options.

Lu Han became a e, a.k.a he walked the streets like they were his kingdom, it only took a while but he was able to make enough money, often staying with his customers just for the soft beds and red wine that lingered like the dirty feeling on his skin when he woke up in the morning, faced the monster in the mirror, took the money and fled. He agrred to himself he had become so low, a tragic boy who lost his way but he realized he just didn't care, because more than often he felt a thrill, excitement bubble inside his chest and it made him feel good-- although only for a few seconds, Lu Han had finally found that feeling he had longed for.

Needless to say he had become someone's , he had lingered on someone who took him under their arm and showed him a new world. They treated him like a prince, comforted Lu Han and had given him things he hadn't thought about when his parents had, and most importantly they gave him their attention. Lu Han- no, the two were mad in love and everyone could see that. He was brought to street races, shown the world of people and cars and Lu Han found a thrill that lasted longer than any with a complete strange did. Lu Han found something that filled the void in his heart and it wasn't money or .

Lu Han almost lost his sanity when one race had ended it all. His long term boyfriend, or should I say fiance had gotten into a bad crash during a race and had passed away, glass filled their lungs and the airbag hadn't gone off at the right time, the car flipped over multiple times before it stopped on its top and all he could hear was screaming and gasping, neither of which were his own in his parolyzed state of terror.

Lu Han lost his will to live and he dragged himself around, hated cars and hated everyone that tried to help him, friends that stuck by his side were pushed along, because all they could do was remind him of the man who he had loved so deeply. He was so young in love and it was a far greater feeling, the feeling of love that corrupted him.

 ░ ░ ░ ░ PRESENT  ░ ░ ░ ░

Lu Han continues to drive- it reminds him of the thrill but he cannot-- he no longer can feel that rush. The tragic death hurts him but he continues to do the one thing that can only remind him of something that broke him, simply because every time he drives there's a part of him inside him that sparks, that remembers the love and the laughter and all of the things that built him up and knocked him down. Lu Han's old habits haven't died ye and are still hard, dragging him down every day. He's a wild boy, wants the thrill and the challenge and he wants to feel pain and accomplishment, wants victory when he doesn't want to come face with reality. Lu Han does things he isn't supposed to do because he knows they're the only thing keeping him alive.