“What I am is all I can carry.”
— Deborah Digges, in Trapeze (Knopf, 2009)
Onew has existed within Jinki for such a long amount of time that they should no longer be different, no longer a dividing line between who he is and what he has to be, but they are, relentlessly, ironically, different. Jinki feels, straight from his palpitating heart, with heavy uncertainty, with soundless laughter, with heart-wrenching, physically tattering, out of this world, sentiment, and he speaks, not openly, but freely, richly, with careless caution, but Onew, Onew thinks, rigidly, analytically, factually, and he speaks, not freely, but clearly, with finality, with reason and thought out conclusions and second answers that wait patiently at the bottom of his throat; because there is no room for senseless emotions, or whimsical actions when the dreams of four others were strapped like a machine gun onto his already weighted shoulders, but it is okay, it is okay because Jinki adores them reverently, continually, so it is okay he thinks, to sacrifice a bit of his sanity for them, a bit of crippling depression for them, it is okay.

 

I. “—you are the knife I turn inside myself, this is love.” — Franz Kafka, "Letters to Milena"

II. “And I kept his love in my palm till it blistered.” — Michael Ondaatje, “Elizabeth,”

III. “… home is a splintered word.” — Karen Green, "Bough Down"

 

hi! i'll try to make this as short and concise as i possibly can:

- i reside in gmt-4/est time.
- my replies vary but will, for the most part, take a while.
- i am most familiar with 3rd pov but am also versed in 1st if you are more comfortable with that.
- i love (good) plots and am open to and welcome a diverse range of ideas; i am particularly fond of the dramatics, and although i am willing to do almost any type of genre, i wish to not divulge in things of grotesque or morbid nature.
 

i'm not strict with much, so if you have any inquiries feel free to send me a pm! thanks for reading!