L I think my life is a mistake... Dad shouldn't take me. Mom shouldn't let me. And sister.. shouldn't let dad know where i am. Mom always argue with dad, she make dad angry, and when mom's angry, she will beat me. Dad too. Sister, that smile on her. She told me when i was 5, if she smile meaning its happy thing, i guess its a happy thing too when that red liquid came out from dad's chest. How can it not? i stopped mom from being angry. I put the knife in dad, the knife that sister gave me. She said we will be happy. I guess its happier now that mom and dad stop beating me, us. Well, of course, she can't even breathe now, the rope is on her neck. I wonder who put that. Sister is happy, but i was scared. I ask her, is this right? She said to me, "well done lil sis." I still remember asking her whether its my turn next. She said not untill i find a reason to. Now that he's gone, the one that bravely approach me when nobody wants to. That gives reason to me to be happy, smiling like sis. But now, that smile is gone. I rmmber holding his cold body in my arms. He told me to live and smile. But how? I want to, but for what? I found a reason to take my turn like dad and mom but he told me to- ahhhhh *clenching head. Staring at the knife on my hand.

 

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