➩ bar

@jung sooyeon "I will remember it because it is important..." She stated with a serious tone. The truth is even if Taeyeon looks really irresponsible and act like one, she is a true leader. She is responsible and caring. She watches over the members from behind, she have always put them first before her life and now that she is trying to move on and find a life on her own, they are back to where she have to watch every of their move so they won't fall over. Some of they might still fall but she will always be behind them, watching so then she can lift them and make them stand and move forward. All she wants is someone to walk behind her but no one is walking behind her. She fell too many times and no one even dared to look back at her and help her stand up and move forward which is really sad.

She frowned slightly at the sudden question. What does she want her to do? What does she have that she can offer. "Anything" She finally answered before sitting up so the lady can have her own personal space.

@kim taeyeon [] it's okay

She let out a high pitched sound, something similar to a 'hey' as Taeyeon just fell on the top of her, pushing her down to the seat, and she seemingly wasn't about to change her position at all. Of course, it made Jessica really uncomfortable, but at the same time a part of her enjoyed the closeness of them, her being able to see the other's features from up close again, and even their bodies just pushing against each other like never before. She felt shameful, but she admitted that it was strange yet exciting at the same time.

As she lowered her head, her cheek resting on the top of Jessica's mounds, the slightly taller girl's cheeks became heated, she noticed how her breathing got harder and of course, her heart was beating against her chest at a pace she didn't recall feeling before. She didn't know what to say or what to do, so she only nodded to the driver as he asked if they're ready to go, sympathy showing in his eyes towards Jessica, seeing the two of them in such a position. Hearing the other use nickname to adress her made her smile, it was small, but once again honest. "I can only smell your hair but I can only say the same. I could never get bored of this smell," she said softly, fixing one of her hands on Taeyeon's back as the car started moving. She put down one of her legs to keep the two of them on the seat whenever the car would have to turn, and she patted Taeyeon's hair with her free hand the whole time, looking down on the girl, slowly getting used to her closeness.

"Taeyeon, you won't remember this after you wake up, right?" she asked, her hand not stopping with the slow, loving on the latter's long, dark hair. She wasn't sure if she was asleep or not, but she had to ask those questions, she had to get it off from her chest, even if no answer would come. "What can I do to remind you? What do you want me to do?"

@jung sooyeon (omg I wrote a long one until omg!! my ipad frozeeee like omg, im so mad at myself right now hahahaha)


Taeyeon was s happy when the car arrived, finally she can rest her poounding head. As the other pull her inside the car she couldn't help but trip over making them fall onto the backseat with her on top of the latter. She let out a tooothy grin at the driver who closed the door right when they got inside, thanking him with her slurred words. The truth is she probably wont remember half of what they talked about but what she is sure about is that she will remember the mportant things they have discussed.

She kept still like that, her head resting on the latter's chest, in between her plump booobs. She smiled then snuggled closer to the other's warmth, not even caring that she is actually burying her face on her chest. " You smell good Sooyeonnie"

@kim taeyeon She didn't quite understand the connection of the current situation and her sister, but she booked it for the alcohol, since Taeyeon drink quite a lot of it that night, which made her hold tighter on her, not wanting her to fall or anything, even though, she herself wasn't feeling like she was in her best condition either, but she was surely better than Taeyeon. Thoughts about alcohol made her sad, though. When they wake up, Taeyeon might not even remember their bet, making Jessica look like a complete fool, making herself look like she's lying to her leader, but she had no idea how to make her get remembered to it by herself, so she just let things go as they were, hoping that on the ride home, she could come up with something.

"Hang on, the car is here. We'll be home soon and you can rest," she said softly, opening the door to the backseat for Taeyeon to sit in. "Do you want me to sit next to you?" she asked as she stepped to the side, looking into Taeyeon's eyes, a worried about her condition.

@jung sooyeon She smiled softly in response before wrapping her arms around the latter tightly, pulling her closer to her body since she feels that her warmth is calming her down a bit. "Sooyeon.. Soojung.." She whispered, laughinf slightly at her remark before caressing her cherks, looking deeply into her eyes that seems empty. She felt bad about ignoring her all this time, only if they can rewind the time, she will confess all her feelings to her back then but its over now. They are starting fresh and new which she likes better.

Taeyeon kept looking at her, not even saying a word but thoughts in her head are screaming out loud that it actually makes her head hurts a lot. The pounding onnher head wont go away and she cant take it anymore. "I feel like I'm dying..."

@kim taeyeon The slight change of mood made Jessica smile, and this time it was a honest smile. She really was happy just my the thought of Taeyeon giving her a chance again, which if plays out good, will prove that their love is strong enough to survive such a big swing. "I'll fight for us, yes," she nodded as she replied quietly. The sudden contact with her hands on her thighs made her heart skip a beat, but she stood up from her seat, leaving the last bits of her drink there, noticing how she got a little dizzy just by standing up. She, a little hesitantly linked her arm with Taeyeon's, who was walking beside her, so they could be a little closer, and she was only hoping that even though it probably felt way more stranger for her than to Jessica, since she already gave up on her feelings, she wouldn't pull away.

While still inside the bar, she quickly made a call to her driver as she always would whenever he was driving her car, noticing him that Taeyeon will come along, talking loud enough for the latter to hear it too. "Thank you so much for letting me prove what I feel for you. I won't fail, I promise. You'll love me," she looked into the other's eyes, a smile already forming on her face as she imagined making her happier than ever. That's all what she wanted to do.

@jung sooyeon She smiled at the latter's sweet yet caring words of determination. She loves her atttention but now, She is just not sure anymore. She got hurt once, now that she is finally moving on and finding herself once again, not just one but two person came to her life to give her another obstacle. It is going to be an up and down again but she will fight too. Her eyes showed nothing but determination so Taeyeon will too. She smiled at her reassuringly before raising both her fist in the air. "Let's fight" She whispered before standing up, leaving her seat and stumbling towards her slightly, placing her hands on her lap. "but for now.. let's go home.. im tired"

@kim taeyeon After hearing all of those things from Taeyeon which were supposed to and did bring her down, the last few sentences sounded so crazy, yet they sounded right. Maybe it was the effect of alcohol again, but she felt good enough to agree to the challenge. She nodded and took back her hand to her lap again, her eyes never leaving the other's. "I bet I can make you fall in love with me in a week," she felt nervous adding that last bit to the end, but she felt necessary for it to be there - just to remind herself that she really has to bring her loving side out once again, even after Taeyeon ignoring her for years, she had to actually show her that her love is real, and at the same time, remind Taeyeon who she fell in love with. "I'm not going to be an idiot and let you drift away from my hold ever again."

@jung sooyeon (it's okay haha)

Taeyeon pulled her hands away from the other with furrowed eyebrows, she cant believe that she is actually holding her after what she have just told the latter. She doesn't want her anymore, she can't, she don't want to. It's over, She wont feel the same way as her, never. She pursed her lips, shaking her head, trying to think of a way to stop her. "Make me fall for you again... " She whispered under her breath as she squeeze her hand tightly. "If you do that, If I ever feel the same way, I will tell you right away" She whispered hesitantly, stammering with her words because of her nervousness as well.

[] i think i made a few typos, sorry /shot

@kim taeyeon Jessica simply couldn't believe what she heard. 'Love', 'you in my arms', 'mine'... she couldn't believe it at all, but she had to, because it was reality. She really messed up everything, and with her saying all those things, it became an even bigger mess. Her lips parted by the surprise of the sudden confession, and even though Taeyeon didn't look or sound like Jessica had a chance by that time, living up to what she said just around a minute ago, she didn't give up. "Taeyeon, I still feel that way. I still love you even after what you've done to me, even after how you hurt me," she said boldly, looking up into the latter's eyes.

"That's how I meant that you mean more than a friend. You're my first love. You had my attention from the start, all of my attention is yours. I just... I didn't want you to know it because I was sure that I'm not good enough for you," she was desperately trying to convince Taeyeon, some kind of hope forming inside her, which made her even more determinated to try. Try, and even if she falls, it's going to cause her say 'I did what I could' instead of her regretting that she didn't do her best. "I love you. All kind of you, even the you who hurt me," she said, grabbing the others hand tightly, because she knew that she'll try pull away, and Jessica didn't want that.

@jung sooyeon Even if Taeyeon is more mature than the latter, that statement still didn't make sense to her. What does she really feel? She feels really sad just watching her cry and it hurts her, her heart is throbbing so much just like before, when she ditched Taeyeon on her birthday. She closed her eyes, listening to her own heartbeat to make herself calm down and try and figure out those words. She still doesn't get it thought. Taeyeon 'used' to love the latter but now anymore. Probably never again since she is scared that she might get hurt again.

"You know, I used to like you more than a friend... I did love you, I wanted you in my arms, I wanted you to become mine.." She confessed her old feelings although her expression remained blank since it doesn't affect her as much as before anymore. "but those feelings fade away as I push you away... I am proud of myself for being where I am right now and I will continue doing everything by myself till I can't walk anymore.. because, I love myself, I wanna make myself happy... I don't wanna be that stupid girl trying to get your attention.. no, that Taeyeon is gone. "

@kim taeyeon She knew that at the end, she wasn't needed at all, but hearing it straight from her completely tore her apart. "I told you already that I'm not going to stop! I'm not going to forget about anything," she said with her voice raised again, getting annoyed how Taeyeon would make her so hurt with saying things like this, her soft smile making her guess that she, in fact, was even proud of herself for hurting her.

There, after hearing the question, she wanted to say it again. She wanted to say those simple words, I love you, but as she opened words inside, she couldn't bring herself to be so straight forward as she got afraid again. She kept her eyes on Taeyeon's, her brows getting pinned up by the fact that she looked so uninterested in her. She wanted to continue crying, maybe she'd feel better after doing so, but with a sniff she finally said something close enough to those words she had in her mind whenever she though about Taeyeon. "For you, the thought of losing me meant losing a friend. It means much more to me and that hurts me on a way you'll never know."

@jung sooyeon She doersn't know what to say, After her lame excuse, she feels like she isn't really worth Jessica's time. Taeyeon is just a joke to her and she finally understand that. She asked the bartender another shot of vodka, her 8th, chugging it down with a slight wince at the end since it is hurting her already sore throat. She looked down sadly, shaking her head slightly in disappointment. "There are a lot of people out there who can make me happy, forget about everything..." she remarked, smiling softly as the thought of a particular someone that she can hang out with as the old normal Taeyeon comes in her mind. She lift her head up, looking straight into her eyes, trying to read her but of course, It is Sica.

Since they were still Trainees, Taeyeon really can't read Jessica. She is the quiet, mysterious type that doesn't let anything show unless she wants to and this made her feel isolated from the latter as well. Taeyeon took a deep breath before shaking her head, trying to take away her thoughts once again. "What do you feel?" She asked straight to the point, looking at her with her uninterested eyes.

@kim taeyeon She looked down, she didn't want to look into Taeyeon's eyes at all. Her hand was so soft and her touch was so gentle, her voice was calming her down, but at the same time all of that made her sad, getting her reminded at their relationship. "I got used to those tears. Don't worry about it."

She admitted that she had a great point about her birthday, but she wouldn't say it if she'd know what Jessica felt on almost every single March 9th after she got to know Taeyeon. Having such feelings for her own leader and being sure about that she didn't feel the same made that day harder than how she expected. She always stayed up late with the plan of being the first person to wish her a happy birthday, she'd always buy presents, but when it came to that she was actually about to do it, she was scared. Scared of many things, she thought that Taeyeon wanted someone else to be the first, that her present wasn't good enough and it'd only get forgotten. Forgotten, as Taeyeon thought she was, but in fact, Jessica's thoughts were only on her, not just on March 9th. "Listen, I'm sorry. I don't always have time to go around and wish happiness for others if at the same time I'd have the chance to get myself happiness," she said, coldly, feeling hurt even by her own words - her own lies. "And I did wish you a happy birthday in the next days," she muttered, knowing that it was a weak excuse.

"If you'd know how I felt... How I feel now... you wouldn't be jealous at all," she shook her head while lowering it, she crossed her arms in front of her chest as a few of her contained sobs left and tears started to fell from her eyes to her lap as she bought one of her hands up to her forehead so she could somewhat cover her face from Taeyeon. Saying 'how I feel now' made her realize one again - she's in love with someone she can't have, and she's not even strong enough to confess it to her, making her sure that her love was wronger than how she thought.

@jung sooyeon She kept her head low, listening to her pleads made her heart feel heavier and it did hurt her, her pride too that she actually just made someone cry. She quickly looked up to meet the latter's gaze, smiling softly before reaching out to wipe her tears off her eyes. "You don't look good with tears on your eyes... You should smile.. smile for all of us" She whispered sadly before closing her eyes tightly just so she wont be able to see her crying anymore but the image of the latter's face with tears on her eyes keeps appearing in her mind and it makes her feel guilty.

Taeyeon cleared after a few minutes before forcing out a smile and opening her eyes into it's wide shape. She pressed her forehead against her, humming softly. "The reason.... It's because I was jealous... You left me alone, you hang out with the other members, you remembered all their birthdays but you didn't even greet me through message.." She finally gave up, slowly pulling away as she remembered how they celebrated the other members' birthday but not even a single word was given to her when her birthday came. She thought they have some special connection but the truth is, It was just her who thought that.

After a few months of staying away from the Ice princess, she gave up, she used to have feelings for her but all those went away as she go away. It did take a few months and it did hurt her but now, at least she can walk with her head held up high, proud of what she had achieved by herself.

@kim taeyeon What the answer was made her speechless for a great minute, she couldn't say anything to her words, her imaginations of a well-going talk crushed in seconds. "What are you talking about? I didn't do anything!" she raised her voice a little, getting frustrated as Taeyeon was trying to blame her for how they treated each other. Her heart already hurt whenever she saw the other, whenever she talked to her but she didn't reply, how she pulled away from even accidental touches, all of that made her feel worse every single day, knowing that she didn't do anything against her 'friend'.

It was also hard for her to stay somewhat cold and completely serious by seeing the other's tears, making their way down on her cheek as she had such an expression on, Jessica wanted to hug her and tell her that it's okay, everything is okay, but it wasn't. And still, she didn't have the right to do it all. "You might have accepted it but I didn't. I'm not going to stop until you give me a great reason to," she clenched her fist loosely, holding into the fabric of her coat. "Even if the old 'us' ended I want a new one to begin. We don't have to be friends again, just... tell me what have I done wrong so I can fix it and maybe you'll forgive me," she was close to crying as well, here yes already got wet and she could feel that a few of those tears were going down on her skin, but she did her best to contain it. "I'm begging you, Taeyeon. Give me a chance."

@jung sooyeon She flinched slightly when she heard what is the other's reason to why she was called out randomly. The truth is, she doesnt really wanna talk about them, no, not even a single word should be released about 'them'. "There is no 'us'... There will never be 'us'." She whispered coldly before taking the glass of soda with vodka on it, taking a hug gulp before turning to the other with a serious expression. "You made it turn like this... I've got nothing to tell you" she whispered befpre raising her glass once again, gulping all the substance on it before asking the bartender to give her pure vodka shots instead.

When the drinks came, she drank silenlty, taking shots of vodka in a blink, not even stopping for one second. Tears pooled in her eyes as thoughts lingered in her mind and before she know ot, she is slowing down on drinking because she is crying, tears were flowing out of her eyes. "Ive accepted it... There will never be an 'us'" she croaked out with her husky and deep voice because of the alcohol's effect. "So let's just stop" she whispered between sobs while she lowered her head. Looking down to her lap so she wont see her weak state.

@kim taeyeon Of course, she felt bad at how Taeyeon pulled away right after she touched her, but at the end she didn't even know how she gained enough confidence to touch her so suddenly. She was always awkward around her leader since she started ignoring her, so she thought it was only the effect of the alcohol inside her, but she was somewhat glad that she could talk honestly to her.

It was an even bigger surprise when Taeyeon reached out to Jessica with a smile on her face. She knew that her smile wasn't a honest one, but it still made her happy that even though they were completely alone together, she made a little effort to look happier than how she is to spend time with Jessica. She let her fix her hair, she was only praying that her blush wasn't visible due to the darkness. She watched the other talk with the bartender as she tried to collect her thoughts, taking another sip of her drink, which probably wasn't the best thing to do, but she really wanted to get things done that night, so she needed all the courage. "I want to talk about us. The fans and even the company noticed how you ignore me, but I can't do anything against it because you won't let me," she took a deep breath before she'd start scolding the other, since even though she wanted to, she didn't have the right to do it.

"It hurts, Taeyeon. I don't want us to be like this," Jessica added, just to mention her own feelings - or at least a small part of them.

@jung sooyeon When the latter held her hand, she quickly grabbed it back with her eyebrows a bit furrowed. She doesn't know why she is touching her, after all, it is a bit awkward for the two of them to just sit there together, alone, in the crowd as if they have their own world. She forced out a smile when the other did smile, looking straight into her eyes. She reached to her face, caressing her cheeks lovingly before tucking her hair behind the latter's ear so that she can have a better view of her beautiful face. "What do you wanna talk about?" She asked with her sweet tone while slowly pulling away to talk to the bartender since she ordered a light drink, she asked him to change it to a hard one. This night is her day off and she will get wasted whether they like it or not.

She is here already so might as well take advantage of it

@kim taeyeon After waiting another five minutes, she gave up on waiting outside and made her way in the loud bar, hoping that she could just sit down and have a drink, trying to accept that Taeyeon seemingly ditched her again without even a warning that time. It really saddened her, to know that their relationship too such a turn from one point about two years ago - she didn't know what she did wrong, and it was the reason why she asked the other to a meeting for the nth time in the past years, and it wasn't any better than those times. She ordered some strong alcohol from the bartender upon reaching the counter, sitting down to a chair as she got her credit card out from her pocket to pay.

She really didn't know what else she could've done to save whatever was left from her friendship with Taeyeon, from her love towards her leader. She took a sip from the drink in front of her, frowning at the bitter taste, but getting over it quickly as something, or rather someone catched her attention. She only ordered a drink, but her voice was making Jessica's head turn to her direction without thinking, her eyes getting wide by the sight of the girl she wanted to see so much. "Taeyeon..." she muttered, their eyes locking with each others. "Oh god, thank you so much for coming," said Jessica, grabbing the wrist of the one next to her. "I really thought you won't go here," she forced a small smile on her face, looking into the other's eyes after avoiding them for a while. "So... I called you here because I want to talk about something."

@jung sooyeon This afternoon when she woke up from her nap, she found quiet a few interesting messages on her phone. Nothing really seem to make her mood go up a bit though. She is bored, she needs something to do. As if someone was there, listening to her thoughts, the last message was from Jessica, The girl who she really dislike nowadays. "What made you message me huh?" She asked herself as she opened the contents. She read the message over and over again for the whole 10 minutes, still not believing that the Ice princess is in fact asking her out on a night outing. Her lips curved upward, Taeyeon is known for not being able to hide her true feelings and she is fine with that because she really is happy that the two can finally have some quality time together.

After a few hours of getting ready, Taeyeon finally arrived at the designated place where the two are supposed to meet. She got inside, looking around, hoping to spot the person she is supposed to meet. It's Friday so it is really crowded in there which is nice because no one would recognize them but it is a bit bad too because she can't find Sica now. She kept walking around, getting grabbed by a few guys on the way but she didn't stop searching for her. Once she reached the bar, the last place which she hadn't check, she smiled widely when she saw a familiar back sitting on the stool. She sat beside her secretly making the bartender walk over to her. "One martini please" She ordered, using her sweet voice that hopefully Jessica will hear through the loud sounds.

@kim taeyeon She was noticing that she was quite nervous as she stood in front of the bar, alone. The reason behind her feeling that way wasn't easy to explain - it was caused by many things, but most importantly just by the fact that she was about to meet with Taeyeon to have a private talk which they should have had since a long time ago. Jessica's heart was beating fast enough to make her breathing harder, praying that her leader wouldn't do what she usually did and would actually show up, after all, she didn't send her any text messages and didn't call her, so Jessica was hoping that Taeyeon would, just once, take her serious and give her a chance to talk, just about a few things at once.

She lowered her head, sighing out a quiet "Where are you?" as she crossed her arms in front of her chest, getting a little impatient. She was wondering if she should call Taeyeon and ask her if everything is okay, but at the same time she felt that if she really is coming, then it would sound pushy, so she dropped the idea, and decided to wait for some longer time, glancing up a few times in hopes that she'd spot the small frame of the older member.

#taotopseveryonegetitstraight

/smiles

#lonelyjoyproblems

#lonelyjoyproblems

e u e I've like… 250 away from 7000

#lonelyjoyproblems.

#lonelyjoyproblems.