⟫ nightclub

@nam jihyun There was something oddly relieving about seeing someone remove her makeup. It was akin to a soldier shedding his uniform. Yura supposed all the powders and foundations served as Jihyun’s armor when she performed on stage. Now that she had stripped down to her bare face, it was as if a burden had been lifted and she was at last able to relax. At least, that was how it was from Yura’s perspective. But Jihyun always seemed a little smaller in presence and damper in spirit once she removed her painted visage and Yura couldn’t quite understand why. Though if Yura was being honest, she never /could/ truly claim she understood how Jihyun operated in the first place.

Sometimes all of those days spent sharing snacks and notes, exchanging gossip and banter seemed like they might have been a stranger’s memories. Yura could just as easily have been someone else and it only would’ve made a minor difference. She hated that. Despised it with all her being because she couldn’t stand being disposable. It was a role she was too used to playing.

But Jihyun still visited. Ahyoung didn’t disappear from her mind. For that, Yura is and always will be grateful. During those days, it was Ahyoung’s turn to be quiet. It was harder to fill the silence then, but eventually she learned that words weren’t all that necessary. Not all the time. If it was the right person, then being present was enough. With Jihyun, Yura has grown to accept that being present was all the dancer was willing to offer.

She was there when Yura needed her most and that’s all that counts. Without Jihyun’s help, she wasn’t sure what would have become of her. Would she take to the wrong crowd? Come crawling back to her mother? Yura didn’t even want to think about it. The time following her release was the hardest she had ever gone through and Jihyun was one of the sole good memories. The rest she preferred to forget, leave buried at the back of her mind.

Like the bad, the good also had to come to an end. As much as Yura would have liked to stay with her friend, it was completely out of the question. She knew deep in her gut that she was a burden. Jihyun had her own life to lead and it certainly didn’t entail playing Yura’s nanny. So she left, but not before promising herself she would return the favor.

The first time she showed up though, Jihyun looked like she had seen a ghost. Had she been dreading the visit? The dancer probably thought, ‘not again.’ Yura did her best to ignore it, but whenever she visited Jihyun, the notion that she was unwelcome surfaced. Once or twice she wanted to ask, but it turned out her desire to know was overshadowed by her fear of learning the answer. So Yura donned a smile and did what she did best, talking enough for the both of them.

Truthfully, it was selfish. She might have been offering Jihyun gifts, but somehow Yura always seemed to be the one leaving satisfied. The gesture made her feel useful; she didn’t dare think she was /needed/, no, but useful? Perhaps a little. The idea of being completely helpless, unable to offer someone who had aided her so much nothing, was unbearable. And so here she was again with foods and drinks Jihyun could have gotten at any convenience store, playing the saint.

“Are you sure? You look kind of sleepy,” she replied with a miniature frown; though at the mention of the guard, it disappeared. “Y’know, it’s actually gotten /easier/ these days. I think he’s losing his touch. But don’t worry! No one’s said anything yet so we’re safe!” Yura flashed a thumbs-up, as if that ensured the guard kept his job (though she did make a mental note to be more careful in the future.) The light sound of Jihyun’s laughter drew another smile from the younger girl; this time it came more naturally. As she was unpacking the contents of the bag however, it faltered. “Uh-oh. Are you hungry? I figured I’d switch it up. . .” Yura glared at the bottle of aloe vera in her hands as if had just punched her.

Then as soon as it appeared, the scowl vanished and was replaced by an excited grin; the one that usually cropped up when Yura had an idea (good or bad, it was hard to tell.) “I know! Since you’re off, why don’t we get something to eat? I’ll buy.” But she wasn’t finished. “/Or/ we can go shopping for ingredients and I can make you food! Then maybe we can watch a movie—”

< shhhhh don't worry about it. that's passion right there ;u; >

@kim ahyoung So the day came when Ahyoung was finally allowed to go home. of course jihyun had offered to cook her a meal, to take care of her for the first few nights, letting the younger female crash at her place, doing anything to ease that guilt. time passed, ahyoung found an apartment, found parttime jobs, changed her name into Kim Yura. and the guilt diminished. she could breath again. until the first time yura...ahyoung...showed up at the nightclub for the very first time. just like today, a plastic bag crackling in her hand. and the guilt returned, harder, stronger, more painful than before.

Millions of thoughts had been running through her mind. why was she here? how did she find me? did something happen? the reason why ahyoung was here...was she feeling lonely? is it my fault for her to feel lonely? did i neglect her the past few days?

ahyoung never told her why. and she never asked. just pulled the female backstage into the changing room, eyes widely opened as thousand of different scenarios popped up in her mind. But as soon as she saw the wide smile on the younger one's face those thoughts were pushed back, slowly hiding behind a thick haze.

the same smile, just like right now. For a short moment jihyun closed her eyes, slowly breathing in and out. in and out. before her eyes fluttered open again. slightly the corners of her lips pulled up into a smile before she continued with removing the makeup, careful to keep an eye on the other girl through the reflection of the mirror.

"I'm not really tired...but say...Did you Daehan-ssi let you sneak in again? he might get into trouble because of that." A soft laughter left her lips as she imagined the bulky security guard, unable to hold back this quirky girl from entering the nightclub. he tried his best to do his job, yet he always seemed unable to do anything when encountering ahyoung. maybe he liked her? who knew. her eyes then focused on the bag dangling from said girl's hand, black and nontransparent, slightly reflecting the bright light coming from the neon tube above their heads.

"well...since you always bring something to eat...is it food?"

[2/2 OTL really sorry...i got carried away]

@kim ahyoung the heavy beat of some popular pop song was blaring from the loudspeaker right next to her ear, the low bass creating vibrations in the air, letting the wooden floor below her feet tremble with each dull thud of the music. She barely noticed. barely noticed that the music was way too loud, barely noticed the twinkling lights of the nightclub, barely noticed the umpteen pair of eyes that were staring at her. Barely noticed the hungry stares, the slightly parted lips, tongues darting out to moisten them, the high pitched whistles in contrast to the low growls. Although they were right in front of her, their faces seemed to go past her in a blur as her body twirled across the stage.

led by the rhythm of the way too loud music, her body seemed to move on it's own. a long time ago she had already figured out that the best way to dance wasn't to memorize some difficult dance routine but to just listen to the music, to the beat, the ups and downs of the notes, and to let the tunes carry you far away, to a place that was hidden for the commoners' eyes. a place that was so bright an briliant that it was almost eye blinding, that consisted of everything and nothing, the air filled with thousands of different melodies yet empty at the same time. A place that was filled with passion, so burning hot that it almost hurt, but just almost. there had been times when she had tried to explain this magical world to her friends, earning nothing but worried and confused stares. so she had given up, realizing that this special place was only for a few people.Whenever she was on stage, her body moving to the rhythms of the newest pop songs, jihyun's mind was already far away at that special place where the melodies sounded richer, fuller, where her body became so light that it got carried away by the music like cherry petals in a spring breeze.

When watching her on stage, people could see that she was enjoying it, that she loved it. not the eyes that were staring at her, not the momentarily attention, but simply the fact that she was allowed to show them her passion. it was what fascinated them about her, that kept their eyes glued to her body, watching each of her movements, that left them in a daze even after she had already left the stage.

Little did they know that everything seemed to collapse once the female stepped down from the stage. no more glitter and glamour, no dazzling smiles or fire burning in her eyes, just flushed cheeks, a chest that rapidly lifted and dropped with each breath she took, beads of sweat glistening on her forehead. Eyes almost glued to the ground as she moved towards the changing room, the tight-fitting dress that had seemed made just for her when she was on stage now feeling as if it belonged to someone else, someone completely different.

she was just removing the thick layer of makeup, removing any evidence that connected her to the girl on stage, when the door behind her banged open, the tiny room immediately filled with the loud and cheerful voice of a certain someone. Yura, or Kim Ahyoung, a girl she had met back then in school. they had hanged out together...kinda. Hanging out with Jihyun usually meant that jihyun was just sitting next to someone, barely talking, just staring somewhere far away while listening to them talking. Still, they had been something like friends until the younger girl suddenly disappeared for several years. it had taken her some time to find out what happened. no more hanging out, no more sitting next to each other, shoulders slightly touching while she was listening to ahyoung's melodic voice. no more hearing her unique laugh echoing through the air. instead they were facing each other on her monthly visits, blankly staring at each other while she was trying her best to ignore the keeper at the back of the room, trying her best to act as if everything was normal. it wasn't.

and then a few months ago the news that Ahyoung would finally be released. she had been happy...maybe. of course she was happy for her friend, but at the same time jihyun just wondered if they could ever go back to how it was before all this happened. she didn't know, didn't wanted to know. she still offered her help, offered to take care of things like looking for a nice and cheap place for the other to live, feeling that she at least could do that for her maybe friend, feeling guilty that all this affected her more than she wanted to admit.

[part 1/2
uhhh...I didn't realize that this would become such a long post OTL]

@nam jihyun “You again?” The security guard sounded weary, but otherwise unsurprised. This girl was making appearances as regularly as several of the acts in the bar. And there was one act in particular that he knew she wouldn’t miss. It was also the primary reason he hadn’t thrown her out on her rear on sight.

If she sensed his displeasure, Yura didn’t show it. She clasped her hands together and let out a playful gasp, earning her a scowl in return. “Daehan-ssi! You remembered me again! Better watch out or people are gonna start talking about us,” she added with a bold elbow nudge to his arm.

He remained unfazed. “Get out of here. People are already talking and it ain’t about you and me, kid.”

Yura held his gaze silently for a moment before letting it drift elsewhere. Automatically, she focused on the figure occupying the stage and everything else simply faded into the background. There stood Nam Jihyun, alone, but with enough presence to fill the whole platform. Every movement she made exuded a kind of energy that was utterly foreign to Yura. Each gesture flowed smoothly to the next, none made in vain, showing the level of discipline and control Jihyun possessed over her body. It was that fire that fueled her spirit on stage; the very same one that ignited the audience and threatened to overwhelm them for as long as the music allowed. Until the song ended, they were hers.

A surge of pride swelled up in Yura’s chest. She never tired of watching Jihyun perform. The sight of her giving it her all with not a care in the world was uplifting. It was someone doing something she enjoyed; someone putting in her best effort. Though it was a simple concept, not everyone possessed the same drive, the same raw passion. Yura chased that feeling, wanted it badly, but she never came close to grasping it.

Then as the music began to subside, Yura’s train of thought returned to reality. Her fist tightened around the plastic bag she was carrying, the weight of its contents reminding her why she was here. Fortunately, her response was quicker than the guard’s. Taking advantage of the small diversion, Yura wriggled her way past his broad frame and quickly shuffled towards the dressing room.

“Thanks for letting me in! Enjoy the rest of the show!” She hastily called back over her shoulder, bag swinging in hand. Yura smiled as he heard his half-hearted growls of frustration. If she was a richer woman, she’d get something for him as well, but her friend was her priority, no contest.

Yura had been backstage enough to find the dressing room with ease. She even got a few words of hello from some of the performers. Luckily, the manager wasn’t around to give her a not-so-friendly greeting, and she was able to locate Jihyun without trouble.

“Jihyun!” She called out energetically, skipping all formalities. “You were great out there! I bet you’re tired, huh?” Without waiting for a proper response, Yura made herself comfortable in the nearest unoccupied. . . table. She held up the plastic bag by the handle and gave it a jaunty little shake. “I got you something. Bet you can’t guess what it is!”