apt #102 || yoongi

@nam taehyun Darkness. The room was bathed in darkness, though still somewhat visible, as his blinds weren't blackout. Yoongi was surrounded by darkness, literally and metaphorically. The self hatred and morbid thoughts swirled into a mess of murky black, settling its way over Yoongi's body like a thick blanket of depression. There was a sick sense of calm to it all, almost. The numbness that settled into his very bones, made him stare listlessly at the dimmed pale blue of his walls, gave him the overwhelming, sick feeling of nothing. It left him with this thoughts, things that he would always pretend he didn't think about, save for a dark joke or two.

Hearing the click of his lock, Yoongi's heart calmed and started racing, all at once. He at least knew his house wasn't being broken into--only close friends knew where his key was. His heart leapt into his throat, seeing as that meant that there was a close friend in his home, right now. While he was mid-episode. He couldn't warn them, couldn't tell them to just go back home, that he'd be fine in a couple of days--they were already here. He had enough energy to call out of work early, as he could feel the onset of an episode, but he didn't think he'd need to do the same for his friends. His breath hitched--, they were getting closer. He could hear the muffled calling of his name, but he simply hoped they'd just assume he wasn't home. God, where they by his room? He bit his lip, hoping they wouldn't open the doo--Great. How was he to explain? 'Oh hey, I haven't taken my meds in the past 3 weeks and now I'm balls deep in a depressive episode'? Even he realized how pathetic he sounded. "I...Depression." If only words were on his side, at that moment. His voice was barely a slurred mumble, his back being to the door made it even harder to decipher what he was saying. "Go 'way."

@min yoongi Making his way up the staircase, Taehyun couldn't help but wonder how much the housing standards in Korea varied from what he's experienced in Germany's capital or in the temporary flats he resided in back in the U.S. The entrance to the building smelled of old fags dissolving in post-showery dampness, yet the sour odour that commonly attacked the noses of unaware passerby's or residents wasn't there, unlike his expectations. The stair themselves were in a good condition, too, and so did the whole apartment-building appear to be - well-kept and serene, an oasis of tranquility in the never-ending loudness of the city. He could clearly understand why some liked surroundings like those he's now found himself him, however he never truly accepted it. It didn't make sense to him as adding calmness to city-life totaled to a paradox most weren't eager to approve, him being one of them.

Having conquered the few constellations of stairs he eventually reached the vestibule of his targeted place, walking up to the door leading to his friend's apartment right away. His knocks echoed in the silence of the tiny corridor and the urge to look around the empty space was too grand for him to ignore. He could hear his own breath, suddenly becoming aware of his chest's weight, which rose and fell regularly as he waited for the door to open. But the welcoming, bright smile he was so used to and automatically associated with the place never appeared. His brows knitted together in a concerned frown as he repeated the previous process. He waited a second, maybe two or even three. But the expected greeting didn't occur. A sigh left his lips as he took a step back, so his feet wouldn't touch the doormat, which - as he's known for quite long now - simultaneously was the hiding place for an emergency key that would provide him with an open entry. Once he felt the cold metal of the tiny item against the warmth of his palms, he found himself hesitating for a moment or two. What if his friend was under the shower and simply didn't hear him? But on the other side - Taehyun quickly checked the time on his black canvas watch - who in the world would take a shower at 3 pm?

Putting the key inside, he nimbly created himself an entrance, the sound of the opening door resounding in the apartment. The courtains, ones he was always able to see from the enterance-space of the flat, were covering the view onto the city. The apartment itself was shrouded in a half-dimmed aura, an atmosphere of odd uneasiness that moved its fingers up to Taehyun's throat and pressed them against his skin. The male swallowed the lump that made him unable to breathe calmly, closed the door and moved around the place, the key squeezed tightly in his fist. "Yoongi?" he walked through the kitchen after he briefly checked the living area. "Yoongi?" he moved closer to the door that divided him from the bathroom's inside, but he heard nothing. Nothing, apart from the silence that seemed to be louder than anything he's ever heard in his life. As he eventually reached the bedroom door, he again hesitated to push the door open. A deep inhale moved his body upwards ever so lightly, before it dropped to its place a second after - the door opened and the darkness of the room flashed him. "Yoongi, what are you doing?"

@jeon jungkook Yoongi tensed when Jungkook pulled him closer, not because the touch was unwelcome, but because he didn't want the boy to see him cry. Yoongi rarely ever cried in front of people, wanting to be the protective, strong figure for others, so naturally, Jungkook cradling him and comforting him made him feel worse. He couldn't do much but bury his face in Jungkook's chest, crying it out. He pulled back, after a few moments, bringing his hands up to wipe at his tears. He hiccuped quietly, pulling his knees up to his chest. "I'm..I'm sorry I'm a bad hyung."

@min yoongi Jungkook needed his Hyung closer in order to really clean him up. Mustering up the courage, the boy reached out and tugged the others body into a hug, surprised to see what looks to be liquid on the others face. He hadn't gotten him wet there yet... right? Furrowing his eyebrows, it room the male a moment to realize Yoongi was crying. Only then did the seriousness of the situation dawn on him. He could have found his Hyung dead. Biting his bottom lip, Jungkook cradled Yoongi close to his chest. "It's.. I'm here Hyung. I'll make sure you're okay... it's okay now. You're not alone Hyung..." He murmurs these things to the best of his ability, his own body becoming soaked as he had turned himself away from the wall.

@jeon jungkook Yoongi frowned at Jungkook, cheek pressed against the shower wall. He knew the boy was only helping, and that in due time it might even end up a part of his job, but he still felt horrible. Yoongi felt as though he should be the one taking care of Jungkook, not the other way around. Hell, he was older, being treated like this made him feel like a child, even if he knew he needed it. With the water running, and his back turned to Jungkook, his body let the tears fall, face crumpling. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he knew this was a good thing, that tears were the first step to getting out of his episodes, but right then, he just felt childish, shameful.

@min yoongi Jungkook purses his lips, brushing back his bangs and peeking at Yoongi. "Ah, Hyung. Don't feel bad. I know it's probably really awkward to have me help you... or see you like this, but I really don't mind." His eyes show the truth, that he actually wanted to help him in anyway possible. "I am going to be a nurse! I should at least be able to do this for you. So don't even think about feeling embarrassed. This doesn't change any impression of you in my mind." While speaking, he reaches up and adjusts the shower head, kneeling down and starting to wet his Hyung's back.

@jeon jungkook Yoongi closed his eyes again, letting Jungkook undress him. If he felt useless before, he was feeling it tenfold now. He shivered at the feeling of his bare skin on the bathroom floor, cold and hard. He barely noticed when he was moved until he could feel the warmth of the water without actually getting wet. He turned to Jungkook, then back at the water, as though he was trying to convey something. Yoongi sighed quietly, dropping his head to rest on the side of the shower with a quiet thunk.

@min yoongi Jungkook bit his bottom lip once Yoongi seemed to look around, in a deep breath. "Okay Hyung, let's get these stinky clothes off you.." He leans over his friend, reaching out to start lifting Yoongi's arms, taking his time and removing the shirt smoothly. "Not so bad.." He flings the shirt at the trash with a small shiver. Next he slowly shimmies off the shorts and boxers at the same time, looking away abashedly.

"Cmon Hyung, the water is really nice and warm..." He gently tugs Yoongi into his arms again, staggering to the shower and settling him on the ground of it, just to the side of the water.

@jeon jungkook Yoongi opened his eyes when Jungkook began to speak, managing a small, amused smile at how flustered the boy was. Yoongi didn't really care about people seeing him in nonual situations, he was just always very awkward about being stared at. He couldn't manage a response, but he hoped his smile--which was really just the slightest upturn of his lips--was enough for the boy to understand. Yoongi let out a quiet hiss, eyes screwing shut, when Jungkook the light. It had been four-ish days, and for all of that time, Yoongi had been in the dark, so naturally the artificial bright lights of his bathroom were nearly painful.

He could feel Jungkook's presence in front of him, so he cracked his eyes open the slightest bit. He nodded slightly, gaze flickering down to his ratty tshirt and shorts combo, and feeling even more ashamed than he did before.

@min yoongi As Jungkook reached the bathroom, his cheeks began to heat up. He actually hadn't been to the public bath with Hyung yet... he didn't want to impose on him. "Uhm... Hyung, you don't mind me seeing... and I guess washing.. you?" His face felt incredibly warm as he flicked on the light with his shoulder, settling Yoongi on the ground. "I'm sorry for the situation, let me just get everything ready." He jumped to work, turning on the shower water and fiddling with the settings until he got it right, flying to the cabinet and tugging out two towels and a washcloth, checking the water before squatter in front of the other.

"Hyung...I-I need to undress you. Please try to understand."

@jeon jungkook Yoongi wasn't surprised when Jungkook decided to pick him up. If there was one thing Yoongi knew about the boy, he didn't give up easily. Being picked up like this...a fresh wave of self-loathing threw itself at Yoongi, glazing his eyes in tears. He knew they wouldn't fall. Yoongi let his eyes close, letting out a deep sigh through his nose. He knew, , he knew how much of a mess he was right now, and he cared much more than he could admit that someone found him that way. Usually, he'd just pick up his mess after his episodes, but for someone to find him, have to take care of him as though he was a child...he felt ashamed. He knew he shouldn't--it wasn't like he could control it, after all-- but that changed nothing. He let out a quiet, acknowledging grunt at Jungkook's words, feeling infinitely horrible that he couldn't find the energy to shower himself, to help Jungkook at all.

@min yoongi Jungkook felt unsure of what exactly he would need to do. According to his Hyung, he wasn't able to move his own body. Pursing up his lips, Jungkook put the last few months of going to the gym regularly.. to use. He held back the urge to vomit, reaching over and gently sliding one arm around Yoongi's waist, the other slipping beneath his light body. With a little huff, Jungkook managed to scoop his Hyung up bridal style, groaning gently while doing so.

"Let's... let's go shower Hyung..." He wobbles only slightly over a strewn shoe, practically kicking the door down on the way out of the room. Silently as possible, Jungkook makes his way to the boys bathroom.

@jeon jungkook If Yoongi could have mustered up the energy, he would have scoffed at the question. Of course he needed help, he just couldn't ask for it. (It was more that he didn't think he was good enough to deserve help, but that was a sad conversation for another day.) He found himself sad, really. But not sad in the kicked puppy, 'I want to help you' way, sad in the homeless person 'I dont want to help you, you make me feel superior' way. People were cruel, and logically Yoongi knew he was lucky enough to not be surrounded by people like that, but his mind always made him believe he was. Yoongi wished he at least had the energy to cry, release the emotion he was feeling, but he just felt numb, the sort of numbness that weighed on your chest.

Yoongi had a feeling Jungkook would catch on sooner or later. The boy was smart, and no matter how much Yoongi tried to put on a happy face in from of him, he would catch the younger's skeptical looks, notice the worry whenever Yoongi made one of Those jokes. The boy's words pulled Yoongi out of his thoughts, and he groaned quietly, finding the energy to mumble a quiet, 'cant move.'

@min yoongi To say Jungkook was shocked would be an understatement. He of course would've had to be an idiot to not have a feeling Yoongi had some issues personally, however he had absolutely no idea it was this bad. The entire bedroom smelled of a dump, the floor looking like a bomb of trash and dirty clothes had exploded- taking Yoongi with it. The boy still wasn't mustering up words to say, and despite his disgust with the current state of the others room, he was more worried for his friend. "Hyung, do you need help?" Jungkook was studying to become a paramedic, and although he didn't pay much attention during the psychiatric lessons- he remembered some diagnosis'.

Jungkook had been watching his Hyung like a hawk recently. If anything he would call it crippling depression, and this incident definitely put the icing on the cake... some mothering stinky icing. "Hyung, let's get you cleaned up..."

@jeon jungkook (yoyoyo)

mine ♡